Are you okay?

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That is great. I am so happy for you to find acceptance at work! Now we just need to get to where that is not a surprising thing. My youngest went through that at their job, and now goes by their actual gender and chosen name there with no blowback at all. The world is changing.

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Thanks, itā€™s great that your youngest found acceptance. The world is indeed changing and itā€™s not just the young changing with it. The two servers I was talking with are both my age and my boss is in his 40ā€™s I think.

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Sigh. Iā€™m pushing 60 and still feel young. It is what you make it!

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@docosc

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So, my estrogen dose was lowered again. I canā€™t focus on anything and completely broke down at work last night, just when things were starting to go really well there. Iā€™m a complete mess and just want to curl up in a ball and cry, but thatā€™s not possible.

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Then they still are good at work. If you think itā€™s the dosage then youā€™ve found the problem and thatā€™s part way to fixing it.

You got this, even if you feel shit today. Besides, thereā€™s nothing wrong with having a cry first before you do the next bit. The crap bit passes and tears help it go more easily, trust me.

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Thanks, I was filling in for someone, went into sensory overload and was unable to regulate any emotions after that. Everyone was great about it last night, but this is coming after I was just given more responsibilities and told by the co-owner that my boss has been impressed by me, which means a lot because between my boss, his wife and the co-owner, Iā€™m dealing with an engineer and two phdā€™sā€”so now I feel like an asshole.

I unfortunately have to wait until the second week of January before my next blood draw, so Iā€™m stuck on this dose for a while.

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Thatā€™s just 4 weeks away. You can do this.

They clearly like and respect you at work and youā€™re not an asshole because of a bad day, especially if they were good about it.

Feel like chucking the day in the bin and starting over tomorrow? Fair enough. Do a thing for you first then worry about later, OK?

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I will give that a try, thanks.

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Anytime.

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I donā€™t know if this will help, but biologically this is what women go through just before menstruation. Hormone levels shift: estrogen and progesterone levels drop and prostaglandin levels rise. Itā€™s a roller coaster, basically. I canā€™t imagine theyā€™re trying to replicate that hormonal process with you, but thatā€™s what it sounds like from the outside.

I donā€™t know how to fix it, but every woman whoā€™s ever suffered from PMS is totally there with you right now!

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Nope, my blood estrogen levels are just too high. I started injections at .5ml/week, then I was at .4ml for 3 weeks, now at .3ml. I never fully adjusted to the .4, so .3 is hitting me hard.

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Iā€™m sorry! Have a hug!

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Gut check time.

Tomorrow morning, we close on a big financial commitment (i.e. massive debt), in service to Project GTFO: TX-edition.

U.S. economy is a bit wobbly, the churn rate in tech jobs is unrelenting, we are nearing retirement age, and we have yet to locate our next homebase (still trying to aim for something along US 81). The signing of the documents will certainly be a big ā€œno turning back nowā€ moment.

Just ahead on the horizon: job changes, moving house, turning our backs on our homegrown food installations and most importantly stepping out of a 30-year-long network of friends who have watched our backs (as we do theirs).

But we are done with Texas.
Itā€™s been a good run, Austin.

Breathing.

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Holy moly!

Thatā€™s a lot, but I know you would have taken your time to make sure it was the right next step, so be assured you are not making a terrible mistake. Itā€™ll be hard, not having local support like that ā€“ so, so hard! ā€“ but with the internet, youā€™ll stay connected, no worries about that.

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Iā€™m sorry you had to make the choice to leave because of assholes and dickheadsā€¦

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Iā€™m sorry you felt the need to make such drastic changesā€¦

ā€¦but I understand. Best of luck in finding a supportive place to live that meets your needs.

You Can Do It GIF by Simian Reflux

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I wish I could come up with some words of inspiration that didnā€™t sound like a scene from every high school sports movie of the last 30 yearsā€¦ Iā€™m sorry youā€™ve reached the point where you have to make such a drastic change; if it helps, remember that you have lots of people who are keeping you in our thoughts.

Good Vibes GIF by GIPHY Cares

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