Asskicker coffee has 80 times more caffeine than regular coffee

"That would mean you’d have a good chance of dropping dead from drinking a cup of Asskicker coffee."
Not unless you weigh <60 pounds, which few adults do.
Do the math. A cup has 5 grams, that is 25 times 200 mg, which is the lethal dose per kg of body weight. 25 kilograms is around 55 pounds. So, the average 55 pound adult has a 50% chance of dying from a cup of this coffee. How many 55 pound adults are there out there? Show of hands please.


well, is that before or after you shit out half your bodyweight, then lose another 10/15 from the shakes…


ooh ooh, this gives me an idea too! a properly funded healthcare system and reasonable labor laws that prevent literally life-threatening shenanigans like “unexpected night shifts” I call it “asskicker social policy”


A co-worker of mine always liked to prove me wrong on my knowledge of coffee. He got some “Deathwish” Espresso Roast coffee and swore up and down it was FULL of caffeine. I told him he’d get same results if he just ate some no-doz and brushed his teeth with dogshit (to simulate what dark roast does to the breath). He challenged me. I got some El Salvador Supremo Arabica-- light roast, espresso grind-- from my brother. Over a couple of days trying my brother’s coffee in his re-usable Kuerig thingy, he finally came round to the reality of coffee roasts.


Beats the hell out of hair of the Dog, I guess.


Just came from the “berserka barista”, and yes I’m still breathing, for now, I think.



100% bogus marketing gibberish. it does not add up…

one 12oz cup of coffee is 120 mg of caffeine, and with 4 2 oz shots of espresso (@ 80 mg of caffeine), you’re only up to 320 mg.

that means the other 4 oz has 4680 mg of caffeine. nope!

let’s defy physics and say that the 8 48-hour ice cubes take up no volume. that’s another 16 espresso shots of caffiene, or 1280 more mg.

does 4 oz (aka the 120 ml) of 10-day brew cold drip have 3500 mg of caffeine? no way, never.

16 oz of Starbucks cold brew only has 200 mg after 20 hours. so physics and actual steeping properties aside, even after 10 days where the caffeine content continued at that rate, you’d still only have 2400 mg more of caffeine (and 12 extra oz you’d need to displace.

you’re still missing 1100 mg of caffeine.

I’m surprised there’s no BoingBoing link to their shop selling this snake oil.


If the lD-50 is 150-200mg/kg, and as stated the average adult is 70kg (154lbs seems low, but we’re rolling women in with men). Then the low end (150mg/kg) works out to 10.5g of caffiene for the average adult. This coffee claims 5g of caffiene. So given the way LD-50s work (and Mark doesn’t state LD-50, just “lethal dose”), variations in size, sensitivity, and tolerance. There is a chance that “a cup” of this coffee (or more accurately one of the drinks, since its clearly more complicated than one cup of coffee) does represent a chance of killing you. Particularly if “a cup” is your second cup (since Mark doesn’t specify one cup could kill you)

I’m willing to bet most non-female adults are larger than 154lbs, and that’s all working from the low end of the range. So I’d be willing to be if its really that caffeinated that 2-3 of these things stands a pretty damn good chance of killing you.

I don’t think it would add up even if you assumed best case scenarios. Lightest possible roasts, smallest possible grinds, most concentrated possible brewing method. He has to be dumping raw caffeine in there.


Yes! Kicking Horse is good coffee, and really consistent in roast from one bag to the next. Their 454 Horsepower is the sweet spot for me, still a dark roast but just a little lighter than Kick Ass.


Bulletproof, Asskicker, Kicking Horse… How long before we get Ninjarockstar coffee? x10 PRODUCTIVITY WITHOUT THE TECHNICAL DEBT!




I can’t imagine that this tastes good.

When I think about coffee, I’m thinking about how to get more flavor into it, not how to get more caffeine into it. I like coffee. I want to drink more of it. Increasing the caffeine content just makes that unpleasant.


This is not remotely safe to consume on any kind of regular basis. In the same way you should not chew up a bunch of No Doz, you should not drink this coffee. It is too much. Caffeine is a neurostimulant, and a pretty good one at that, what with the 5.5 hr half-life and dosing level needed to have an effect.

If you need “coffee” like this at any point outside of warfare you should look to alter your lifestyle.


I knew a guy who got to the point where he needed coffee like this to stay conscious; that’s how dependent he’d gotten.

His doctors put him on powdered caffeine supplements to gradually wean him off.

That’s why I never go over two cups of normal coffee a day and don’t use any of those dumb “x with caffeine!” products like caffeinated soap or caffeinated beef jerky or whatever. It’s hard enough to avoid the stuff anyway.


Two of these 90oz. ‘Squatch’ things of coffee are enough. Then I go out with the grounds by some hydrangeas and wrestle them to separate the leftover caffeine.


Wow, someone who goes to Starbucks was denigrating someone who took No-Doz?

I’d rather have a crushed NoDoz mixed with hot water.


I can’t imagine what you’ve been served at Starbucks, but it definitely wasn’t coffee.


Yeah, I grumble about a lot of drip coffee in places. Drip coffee’s not great to begin with, but Kaladi Bros. and Seattle’s Best both seem particularly vile.

But hey, it’s what helped me be a tea drinker for years. So there’s that.


Neither. You just have to be in the same room as it for the effects to be felt.

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