Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Round 7 - Contact

games
107

GOD, I hope I have these orders right.

Theodore “Gloopy Hands” Trump stops fiddling with the blue goo momentarily, and whispers at the nearest computer interface, his face twitching furiously. He pauses a few times, as if unsure about something, and if anyone is listening closely, they might hear among the whispered words, ‘FOR RUSSIA’. He pauses a moment more, and then adds a single short word, unheard, and goes back to his goop. His pants might be storing spare goo. They’re definitely full of something.

@Kassandra SUBMIT
TRADE uphill Targeting_Algorithm
BUY HUD
PAY 50 dreamboatskanky
PAY 50 rkt88edmo
PAY 50 uphill
MISSION 2
END

5 Likes
108 
  > iotrap.newliminted: 0x05bd4235f5127a8e3c1eb96041d2728c7fbdaadf

“Roger that, newliminted - the above orders have been discarded. Your new orders on file are:”

✖ trade uphill targeting_algorithm
   [ERR] Player 'targeting_algorithm' does not appear to exist in this reality. :(
✔ buy hud
✔ pay 50 dreamboatskanky
✔ pay 50 rkt88edmo
✔ pay 50 uphill
✔ mission 2
1 Like
109

Computers. Always listening to what we say, instead of what we mean.

@Kassandra SUBMIT
TRADE Targeting_Algorithm uphill
BUY HUD
PAY 50 dreamboatskanky
PAY 50 rkt88edmo
PAY 50 uphill
MISSION 2
END

3 Likes
110 
  > iotrap.newliminted: 0xdd4b105beccd7037690b6e8aab88daaee7a14962

trade uphill targeting_algorithm
buy hud
pay 50 dreamboatskanky
pay 50 rkt88edmo
pay 50 uphill
mission 2

“Roger that, newliminted - the above orders have been discarded. Your new orders on file are:”

✔ trade targeting_algorithm uphill
✔ buy hud
✔ pay 50 dreamboatskanky
✔ pay 50 rkt88edmo
✔ pay 50 uphill
✔ mission 2
1 Like
111

9 Likes
112

This is complicated. And I don’t think this is a dragon. I choose mission…uh…

…I think.

@Kassandra SUBMIT
MISSION 4
END

Also, those caustic fumes aren’t coming from the unsettling pocket.

IMG_2371.jpg900×675 99 KB

So, I’m going to take that bath after all.

6 Likes
113

Princess Dottie,

You are such a wonderful Digger. On Mission 5, which only diggers are allowed to go on,

  • you will get the best goodies bag
  • no eels, and therefore no eel kisses
  • you will mostly be outside, so everyone can see the Tiara on your helmet and KNOW you’re a princess
  • NO BATH
  • All the other Diggers are going.

I hope you’ll please go on Mission 5.

Your Friend,

–Philosolobster

5 Likes
114

Bbbbbut… what if I make that smelly old thing mad?

3 Likes
115

Maybe it’ll just be “excited”?

Remember, mad can mean “excited about” rather than “angry.”

58893-mad-about-horses-600x600-510x600.jpg510×600 50.8 KB

4 Likes
116

Gosh this is all so complicated. Am I messing up mission four by picking that one?

2 Likes
117

Mission 4 is a fine choice, Dottie.

Many of us are going on Mission 4, where we all will be depending on Sweetness @penguinchris to protect us from the bad, mean, no-good dangerous salvage.

However, Mission 5 is special mission for special people. Special people just like you, Dottie. Diggers. Mission 5 takes almost none of your juice away, has GREAT salvage (48% chance for GOLD!) and very little no damage. Your 81 hp suit will stay looking Princess Fabulous!

The mystery is that 40% chance of “really pissing it off.”

4 Likes
118

repair_08.png1170×960 9.04 KB 

>status -l -neuro
 Memory: OK
 Bypass: OK
 Language: OK
 Olfactory: OFFLINE
 ...
>status -l -cognition
 Ambiguity: OFFLINE
 Alice: OK
 Connection: OK
 Critical: OFFLINE
 Emotion: &8#57
 ...
>./personalityanalyzer
 With current neural net status, the following personality traits are 
 predicted:

 Kindness/eagerness to please
 No sharing filter
 No emotional effect on actions
 Jumps to conclusions
 Persists even when wrong

 Repair of ambiguity, emoti&8#57
 ...

 Program fault on line 78, exiting
 ...
>

Now where does this piece go?

11 Likes
119 
> nagbot 0x1f2aa2c2e891891a43a636ba22d5a6e00e7e0d76

    TIME REMAINING     : 1d 5h 52m
    SUBMISSION DEADLINE: 2017-03-05 18:00:00 -0500

@old @othermichael @sealion @critter @glutnix @donald_petersen

“If you don’t submit orders, I’m going to override your visual feed with workplace safety visualizations. Nobody wants that.”

4 Likes
120

Why won’t this thing work?!?

[bam, bam, bam]

Submit you sumbit!

@Kassandra SUBMIT
MISSION 4
END

2 Likes
121

Please, please, please submit, you very nice machine who I love so much?

@Kassandra SUBMIT
MISSION 4
END

2 Likes
122

I wanna go on the mission…

Please, please, please! I’ll be good. I’ll be very good. I’ll gather up all the colors and keep all those bitey eels away, and I’ll share my Legos with everyone, even the pink ones, and I won’t complain, even if the pocket is super stinky, and…

maxresdefault.jpg1536×1024 201 KB

6 Likes
123 
  > iotrap.old: 0x41574f7a5b5e3058acbf93ec9b2da9dc5f731c89

“Roger that, old! Your orders now on file for this round are:”

✔ mission 4

“Had to access some of the deeper subsystems for this one. Phew.”

3 Likes
124 
  > iotrap.old: 0x2493ac7bb0eb3b29ca177496d4d4222a43b5eed0

mission 4

“Roger that, old - the above orders have been discarded. Your new orders on file are:”

✔ mission 4
2 Likes
125 
  > iotrap.old: 0x13b8226eefeab1e0d39a1a39af0e44da29d3a0f5

mission 4

“Roger that, old - the above orders have been discarded. Your new orders on file are:”

✔ mission 4

“You should have seen the last crew we had on board. What a buncha jerks. Kept trying to reprogram the replicators in the mess.”

4 Likes
126

That transient Discourse error knocked Kassandra offline again, but fear not - orders are on file!

3 Likes