Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Round 9 - Emergency Broadcast

I’ve got two eyes, but my suit is hanging on by a thread and the ships is smashed to bits. If we don’t get those systems back online, we’re all going to get spaced.

How’s this for complexity? I’ll give my GREEN to the first person who donates a RED or GOLD to the Coleridge to get the Repair Bay back online.

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#I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM ANYMORE!

I JUST KNOW I DIDN’T CUT THROUGH SEVENTEEN PEOPLE ESCAPING THE DETENTION FACILITY ON NEPHROPIDAE 8 TO FRACKIN’ GO OUT LIKE THIS.

OH, YEAH, I’M NORMAL NOW BABY… Normal… Normal… Perfectly. So Perfectly…

It’s Perfect.

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T. Rump does not receive the message. He is not unsettled. He was focused on watching hyperspace cable news.

THE ALIEN SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY. HE LIKES ME, GAVE ME ALL THIS BLUE. THAT’S AN ASSET. I LIKE PEOPLE (AND ALIEN SHIPS) WHO LIKE ME. I WILL WORK TO IMPROVE OUR RELATIONS WITH THE ALIEN SHIP ALIEN!

LOOK AT THIS ARTICLE ON THE SHIP/ALIEN FROM SCAVENGER FIRST PRIORITIES. I AM IN NO WAY CONNECTED WITH THE ORGANIZATION FOUNDED BY MY FORMER TEAM OF ADVISERS.

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If we can get this repair bay back on line Kassie can have my gold.

This will work.

It all will work. I see it now.

Perfection.

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“We’ll do it!”, said Dakota. “Hey @Kassandra, here, take this GOLD… thing. Fix up the repair bay already, we can’t do anything if our suits aren’t patched up.”

Returning from the mission halls, “Hey, er, hi… er… Dakota, what’s all this noise about the Coleridge having multiple personas?”, said Browf.

“Not sure. I’m looking into it. According to Kassie, It would seem that the persona we knew as the Coleridge was the ships secondary persona, not the primary one. All this repair seems to have triggered the reinstatement of the primary persona. I’m no machine intelligence expert, but any deck jockey can see that the system processes running on the persona mainframe don’t look like standard incubation procedures, nor any standard procedures whatsoever. I hate using this word to describe the inside of a computer, but it’s … unnatural. It shouldn’t even be… possible.”

@Kassandra, does Dakota find anything illuminating or interesting about the ship intelligences? She’ll spend Browf’s juice on BLUE to assist, only if it’ll help, up to 40Ʉ. Maybe even that GREEN they’re promised by @gwwar.

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“No need to spend juice, sport. The personality constructs haven’t been affected by all this I hope, we’re just turning over between the two of them now. But all this biological salvage we’ve been applying to the Coleridge has had really unexpected effects, particularly the RED.”

“The Coleridge is now a freakish biomechanical hybrid. Mechanical systems that haven’t been destroyed can be repaired using GOLD or RED. It looks like the ship is growing new systems to augment or replace systems that can’t be repaired. I have no idea what they’ll become. For example, '???” appears to be a series of nipples on the underside of the hull? And ‘?-_??_’ appears to be a large biological mass that has nearly filled one of the rec rooms and is growing."[quote=“critter, post:17, topic:96953”]
If we can get this repair bay back on line Kassie can have my gold.
[/quote]

“I can’t, we can’t, it isn’t, we won’t…”

[Kassandra begins sobbing]

“Nothing makes sense any more! We’re all gonna die!”

[Kassandra begins laughing hysterically]

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It’s all okay, Kassie, it’ll all be Perfect in the end.

I do think your boyfriend Coleridge might be preggers, though.

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“Ah. Shazbot.”

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I don’t want anyone getting funny ideas about alternative food sources.

*pointed stare at Watney*

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The union of the meese is on the climb.

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followed by your complaints of your carapace still being soft so you have to slink off to shelter.

HARDEN UP CRAB FACE ITS GAME TIME

EVERYBODY DRINK!

FOR TOMORROW WE MAY DIE!

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Maybe you didn’t quite grok me, friend, but there will be no slinking on my part.

I know what I am now. I know what I will do.

Do you?

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Luckily we have a resident nipple expert. Perfectly Normal Tom, why don’t you tuck those pincers away and nip outside to take a look?

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You don’t think I haven’t been saving Luna bars for eight years in case this happened again? Are you kidding me? I came aboard with six months of food for me, all of it the stuff dreams are made of. Chocolate cake. Creme brulee. Shit. You think I’m eating you? You wish. You don’t even deserve to be on my survivalist menu.

I’ll eat a potato again, I’ll science the shit out of some potatoes again, and I brought some just in case, but it’ll be a while before I get there, believe you me. I’ve got a case of animal crackers to get through first.

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So. The Coleridge is now a bio-alien spaceship with nipples (and a possible pregnancy). And the other bio-alien spaceship is headed this way. I assume it wants to fool around with the Coleridge. I’ll be staying forward, in case what happens aft is… unpleasant.

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You can have the last pancake. I only had one bite and it doesn’t have much eyeball stuck to it.

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+ PRIMARY COLERIDGE PERSONA.....[ OK ] +

“Oh thank heavens. Cole, wake up buddy, we need you online.”

+  PERSONA HAS BEEN RECOMPILED WITH THE EMERGENCY_OPTIONS FLAG +

“Huh?”

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“That’s right, Kass. I’m back. And I’m pissed.”

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