Hollywood for me please! Laughable place, probably making better flicks now than ever! Couldn’t be any bloody worse! Same thing over and over!
Reminds me of my first zombie - Zimbabwe op it was, some rubbish to do with that devil Mugabe, happy days, ‘Zanzibar Zombies’ haha! Never mind, Zanzibar had more zing than Zim, made us laugh, sounded like a cocktail in Pattaya, y’know, something you’d pick up with the clap ha! Haha! Shot in the arm and hope it’s not the syp), so quick detour to the Bulawayo Club for an off-mission jolly reunion drink-up, Aubagne '86 eh? (haha! Chaque Légionnaire est ton frère d’armes and all that old rot!)
In rushes this thing, blur of arms and legs, spitting mad and cross-eyed, knocked over Petrov’s drink then stopped and stared - ugly one too - we laughed so hard I’m sure the trousers wanted washing! Old P was a mite cross too, thing lunged at him like a hungry rag doll and he took off its leg with his axe - just like that! Flash thought was ‘bloody odd for P to be so open!’, but then up it got, for all the world a drunken surfer balancing on a beach ball, and off we were again wetting our pants! Ha! The smiles on our faces, couldn’t miss 'em, funniest thing we’d seen in months! ‘Zanzibar Zombie’ please barman!
Goes without saying I s’pose things rapidly changed direction, whole thing a bit of a mess, ended up with me and P, who was wiping his axe on his beard, laughing outside and feeling a bit rotten about Yusuf, Franck and Michael, who’d ended up in floppy bits about the bar with everyone else like they’d been playing with nasty Belfast confetti. Still, get on with things don’t you? eh? Yes. No time for tears and sympathy anyway, hoards of the bloody goons all over the place. Off we popped, gave up on the op, back to base sort of thing.
Quick thinkers us lot, tactics and strategy are just part of our blood, sorted out a few diversion ploys and built them up into gambits for winning at Zombie Bowling (haha!), of course they seemed a bit cleverer than you’d give 'em credit for, showed some counter-zombiemanship, so we got into counter-counter-zombiemanship, made a great gag of the whole thing and had a bloody good laugh and made truckloads of money! Ha!
Trick is, stay small, stay out of the way, pop up and zap off they go, give 'em the good news, and slide back into the bushes like a shadow. Easy when you know how, eh? Just look in the bush before you climb in! Ha! Haha!
