Badass Dragons of the Wasteland - Round Four

Eyes up, Bubba. 15hrs ago.

Much like an overpass, I’m pretty sure they can blow it to hell and back with enough firepower. Or damage it enough to cause issues for us later on. Fragile things, rockets…


This rocket?

Good morning Fellow UAW members
@webiii1976 @awjt @davide405 @drman321 @William_Holz
and all believers in the beneficence of the Craftsman.

The Great Mechanic seems to have plans for us. A Messenger has come to me privately who needs to Commune about Matters Spiritual. I have asked him to come this morning to meet the UAW.

His name is Toecutter and he knows many things.

He doubts the Ark is headed for Mars. Here are his words:

I know you do not suffer such a poverty of imagination as to believe that there is only one possible use (and that sourced from what must be a dogeared pile of comic books) for the single most advanced vehicle ever devised by the hand of Man. There are any number of enriching, life-giving, and world-changing enterprises which could be made possible with this ship. And there are just as many destructive, genocidal uses to which it could be put as well. I suspect that Cougar knows this as well.

Those are deeper Portents than a mere Scout should ponder. That is why I hope Toecutter shows up this morning to meet with the Mechanics, so that we may all be enlightened.


Be on the lookout for Toecutter this morning. If you find him DO NOT SHOOT. Instead, take him to see Jane @penguinchris. He has spent ten interesting years in the wasteland, drinking deeply of its secrets. Jane and Toecutter should have a most productive conversation. If Toecutter is with the UAW, leave him alone.

As for me, I will be at the UAW union hall all morning unless the mechanics ask me to accompany them to the Ark.

This may all seem confusing to those who don’t know me. I have a colorful past; Toecutter provided most of that color. Jack Burton @funruly can explain.

Be on the lookout for Toecutter this morning, and remember:

Self-interested cooperation is the basis for all success

–Bubba Zanetti


Sure, Bubba, I know some of the tales that have reached the shores of the good old U.S. of A. from down under. Mostly about Toecutter stringing people up from trees and wanton violence and whatnot.

Though I can’t claim I get what this is all about, what he wants or knows about the Ark. Reminds me of something old Uncle Egg used to tell me

Though, to the extent that anyone, Toecutter included, knows what’s going on with this Rocket, and with this self-driving platform, then I’m all ears. Lord knows we’ve had lots of questions that Blazer, and Cougar, seem unwilling or unable to answer.


~Bill: mood = dutiful~

Ayup! Reverend Clank!

I have 93 repair points total, of which I have spent:

22 points repairing myself to 100% (31/31hp)

7 points repairing Clank to 75% (22/31 hp)

leaving me with 64 repair points available to repair anyone else to 75%.

If you are in need of repairs, please reply to this thread.

Please list the number of repair points needed to reach 75% of your MHP, and any donations you would like to make to the UAW.

Thank you!

I need 33HP to get to 75%.

I already pledged my 5LP.

Mmmm … being unable to read, I’m not quite sure what my LP standing is currently.

I’m fully in support of the … brothers and sisters (?) … and would love to … donate … but am not quite sure where things stand, currently.

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I had a better idea… I created a repairs thread to use, instead of cluttering up the story threads…

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~Clank: mood = pastoral~

And in keepin’ with Brother Bill’s wise way of reckonin’ let them as needs repairs from 75% to 100% just up and tell me so’s I can keep track of how much work I’m doin’, for The Craftsman told us “Remember the coffee break and keep it Whole.” … or somethin’ like that.

Anyhow, I got 93 points worth of Sacred Spanner left in me at this point.

Sadly, this only applies to them as drives domestics, the Craftsman has not yet revealed how the UAW can fully repair them as drives furrin’ cars.

EDIT: Ninjaed by @webiii1976 's excellent idea of creating a subsidiary thread. Please consider this post to exist in that thread :stuck_out_tongue:

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The Major and I find ourselves in agreement on the latter count, but I recall Jane letting him know when we got back from the beach that he was 7 HP down from his maximum of 38.

Good point, well made.

There is this, though.

It’s been suspiciously quiet on the old upgrades front. May be this is the only way to get a boost; is that worth 10LP?

The Messenger, Toecutter, is not coming.

He did not choose the way of Peace.

His [fear of Blazer][1] overcame the good he could have communed. He left me this final message:

“I tell you this: we’re coming for that Ark, we’re coming hard and fast, and we have no intention of going to another planet.”

– Bubba Zanetti
[1]: Badass Dragons of the Wasteland - Round 2

I shall keep one eye specially open, just for him.

Just another old hermit clinging to past glory. If he turns from the way of the Craftsman then all that will remain for him is rust.

This, proves one thing. If I know anything but driving, I know rock-paper-scissors, and I know poker.

Fleetwood has the strongest hand.

Toecutter has the second strongest hand.

By all appearances, we have the weakest hand.

Toecutter wanted to take the pot (Ark) before Fleetwood did, because once Fleetwood gets it, Toecutter will be unlikely to get it back. Thus, when his attempt at diplomacy failed, his outright declaration of assault.

But, what both Fleetwood and Toecutter don’t know is: we’re still holding our ace, Stretch’s head.

To best Stretch’s head we need all available mechanics on 2a.

For the Mechanics to do their job, we need most every good scout on 3.

The majority of guns should be in 2b. I know Cougar is promising you less, but if we get most of the group swapping from mission 1 to mission 2b, then she should shift the rewards accordingly. And she and Blazer should thank the living fuck out of Bubba for being so good at counterintel.

That leaves, Mission one.

Mission one needs the best gun. Whomever the best gun is, give that person one (or two) of the 50cals for our Naval haul to grease the skids.

Mission one needs the best scout. Whatever can be done to tune that scout (Lucky Stark Charms and/or some of that Stark Fuel) should be donated for great pwnage.

Mission one needs the best hauler, that’s me. All I ask is that I get healed for this mission. And a thick slice of deep dish pepperoni with mushrooms.

That’s 4 of us: Cougar, best escort, scout, and me. I didn’t hear anything about mechanic-specific challenges at the chapel, but if someone notes one, then we could use our best there.

Look Mission one folks, this may well be a suicide mission. We need to stay alive and “Entertain” Fleetwood long enough for the scouts to find the cipher keys, and for the mechanics to crack them. But, Fleetwood has not yet declared open war on us, whereas, Toecutter has.

Jack, you’re a goddamned loudmouth. Now them ain’t fightin’ words; you know as well as I do that it’s a simple statement of the obvious. I’ve just spent the last thirteen hours inside the cab of the Marion crawler-transporter with Cougar, and there happens to be some important shit we’ve learned and we don’t need you “wond’rin’ aloud” out here in front of everybody and their mutant stepchildren about what we’re trying to accomplish.

You don’t want to hang around the Ark for less than your quoted rate, don’t. Go blow something up instead. But the last thing we want to do is draw unnecessary attention to what we’re doing. Yeah, dragging a 300-foot titanium boner through the middle of L.A. isn’t exactly low-profile. But that Bubba character brought up a point that got Cougar an’ me to thinkin’, and then the kid brought something else to our attention that changed the stakes.

We’re still going to Edwards. If we make it, we’re still going to Mars. Those are what you call True Facts. But it has become vitally important that nobody dig any deeper or all those people out there in the Wasteland, Fleetwood chief among them, are gonna stop laughing at our ridiculous idea and start paying attention to things we don’t want them paying attention to.

You understand me? Or do I gotta sic Cougar on you? You’re already on her fecal list, y’know.

I get you, man. A lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you’s. And, uh, lotta strands to keep in your head, man.


Bloody convicts. Useless, the lot of them. Criminality rampant in the genes, y’see? Always said transportation was too good for them.

Present company excepted, I’m sure.

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Hey! HEY!!

Who the fuck has been in contact with Toecutter without mentioning it to me?!

That skunk-streaked sonofabitch is a dangerous psychotic, and the last thing we need is him sniffing around here! What’s been going on? Somebody tell me who’s been talking and what’s been said, or I swear to dead cybernetic Dog I’m gonna start tearing off heads and stuffing them down SHITGO thrones!

If there’s somebody in camp who’s been in cahoots with that murderous motherfucker, they’d better state a good goddamned reason for it. I admit, you guys don’t know the entirety of what’s at stake here, but the stuff that you do know (all of which is 100% true) is high-stakes enough that none of you oughta be contemplating betraying it! You wanna get off this planet or not?

And anyone even considering letting Toecutter or any of his associates, past or present, near me, Cougar, or the Ark, had better think real hard about whether they got the FP and HP to take on me and my family.

(stomps off)

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