Badass Dragons of the Wasteland - Round Seven Missions

Hi everyone, I have an update for you - in particular, those involved with Mission 2 (meaning @SteampunkBanana and @davide405).

Using Stretch’s head, I established a link to Marion who fed me a log of encrypted TCB messages she picked up over the past few rounds.

You can see this log here: http://www.datalorem.com/scrambledmessages/

Using the communicator badges, I’ve developed a system to decrypt these messages. You can find that here: http://www.datalorem.com/decryptiongrid.pdf (warning, pdf)

If you crack a code from the decryption grid, place it in this sequence:

http://www.datalorem.com/[code here]

and I believe we’ll be able to read the messages and figure out what’s going on.

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Oh shit, I must’ve missed that post! If you really don’t mind then that would be great. I’ll gladly back you for as many crystals as they can give you.

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FADE IN:
EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - SUNRISE

A straight highway stretches into the distance, ruined through years of neglect, a curious curved shadow is in the foreground. The camera pans up to a pair of high-top sneakers with a distinctive red circle and radiant lines, similar to a Japanese Rising Sun flag, a symbol of good fortune. They are dangling out of the side of a green convertible that has seen a lot of miles. The shot follows the shoes into the interior past a wooden steering wheel and a console with a few simple dials and indicator lights. The keys are in the ignition and a curious plastic tsotchke of a black-haired imp with red-checked pants looks knowingly at the camera while holding a tray with his right hand.

A figure sits up into the shot, swinging the sneakers under the steering wheel. From behind the only discernible details are a grizzled short haircut with plenty of gray, the side arm of Ray Ban Aviators, and a very worn leather bomber jacket. A painted rabbit holds it’s thumb out while riding a bomb, asking “Goin’ my way?”

He takes in the scene of the beautiful sunrise for a moment before cocking his head a little to the left. Reaching up a hand and pressing a shiny metal object on his chest that is the only thing that looks new.

DESMOND:
Jane (@penguinchris), this is Desmond. I got the first part of the message decoded. Been up all night working on it. Short burst message to follow, but my summary is that this is a communique between Fleetwood and Toecutter. We were right, they were working together.

He reaches his hand out and turns the key. Big Boy jiggles on his chain as the car shakes while at a standstill. The motor rumbles for a moment before the engine roars and the car smokes their tires into the distance, out of sight in seconds.

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1////////////////////////////////////////////
I’m in the middle of something, this better be good.

I was right, Fleetwood. They’ve got a modular Gen V on board.

Well that’s excellent news. Why aren’t you back here with it?

Jonny the Boy bit it. Had just enough time to ID it before he was discovered.

And why was he discovered? Did you really have to announce your raid as you did? “Coming hard and fast,” as you so delicately put it?

I let Bubba get under my skin. That may have been a tactical error, but…

But nothing. They knew you were coming, and now they know you were there. And now they know we know what they have. It’s gonna be twice as hard to pry it outta Cougar’s claws now.

Not as long as you have her there. Why haven’t you killed them all yet?

She’s family. Her mama and I…

You superannuated fool. You have no idea…

Shut up, Toe. I had to give her a chance to account for what she’s doing, and at the same time give you a chance to grab this thing, which you had to go and predictably screw up like you screwed up picking a name. “Toecutter,” for the love of Mike. What kind of stupid-ass handle is that? Makes you sound as scary as a blind podiatrist.

You have no idea what you’re doing and you have no idea what the stakes are. I can’t imagine why you think you should be given control over this item in the first place.

I said shut up once already. Now you messed everything up on your end, I’m gonna have to stain the floor of my main audience chamber with a whole mess of blood and guts, and I’m taking the cleaning bill outta your cut… Jesus Christ! Goddammit, get those motherfu… shit, the roof!!

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FADE IN:
EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - MORNING

DESMOND:
Jane (@penguinchris), me again. Got a second portion uncoded. There appear to be ten parts to this whole thing. I’m headed to check out a location based on some information in the original puzzle from this morning. I’m also a little worried about who our traitor might be so I’m kind of relieved to be away from a few others right now. But this transmission appears to be the conversation that Bubba had originally spoken of when he said he’d been in contact with Toecutter. He’s always been on the up and up about it, don’t know why Blazer got so fired up like he did. Gotta go now, I see a cloud of dust on the horizon that might not be friendly.

2////////////////////////////////////////////
Hello, Bubba.

Yes… this is awkward, but right now my time is short. This message is for your eyes only and must not be intercepted by anyone else, so I must be brief.

We’ve both been busy, it seems, too busy to have crossed paths again until now, when words reach my ears that you’re involved in an uncharacteristically high-profile enterprise involving something stolen from the old Stark plant in Orange County.

I have a colleague who happens to take a great interest in the ultimate disposition of this stolen property, a colleague with a very high reputation in this area as well as abysmally deep pockets. He tasked me with contacting my old brother Bubba Zanetti to see if he might be interested in… well, in an informal alliance. Nothing violent, nothing unseemly, nothing distastefully high-profile. But if you were to perhaps give us some idea where this stolen package is headed… and maybe if you could… well, deliver a message or two for us when called upon, you might find your collection of license plates growing by a useful (yet not ostentatiously noticeable to the curious outside onlooker) amount. And perhaps a few other desirable things might come your way, were you to remember fondly the days we spent riding together on the endless miles of our long-ago youth. If so, you now know how to reach me.

If such does not interest you, whether from some misbegotten loyalty to the thieves who mean to use this stolen artifact for their own selfish purposes, or from some long-nursed grudge against me for my regrettable yet honest mistake at leaving my blood brother behind to be torn by the vultures… well, we need say no more about it.

I have carried your memory fondly, as I have that of our slain brother the Nightrider, in my heart all these long decades. Remember that… when you look upon the night sky.

Toecutter

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FADE IN:
EXT. CITY HIGHWAY - MORNING

DESMOND:
Jane (@penguinchris). Can’t tell you exactly where I’m going on an open channel like this, but I’ve got to get back down to an area around Glendale and scout out one quick thing so we don’t waste everyone’s time. But those on Mission 3 might want to spool up to head back down the 5. I don’t think I’m being followed, the dust on the horizon turned out to be some raiders on dirtbikes I skimmed past quietly. Well, as quietly as I can. But here’s number 3, looks like Bubba wanted little to do with him.

3////////////////////////////////////////////
Do not worry that you left me to die. We would be untrue to ourselves --and dead-- if we had sentimental hearts

I don’t trust Cougar. The official story is obvious bunk. Her two friends are control freaks who play us for marionettes. They obviously know for more than they are letting on. We’re cannon fodder - we just don’t know whose cannons.

While waiting to figure this out, it’s a chummy place to take a break from hell. I have escorts to take point, mechanics to help keep the Lotus purring, mules to haul the good stuff, and others to keep an eye out when I sleep. That’s worth more than a few LPs.

But about your offer. Remember Jonny the Boy? I said he wasn’t worth going back for, but you insisted. You made that call – against my better judgment. I’ll need a lot more than LPs to risk anything on your say-so again. Like, evidence your judgement has improved.

I’ve thought it over. Let’s try to work together again, but let’s take this slowly. I still have doubts about your judgment. Tell your employer:

We’re following Horace Greeley’s advice and moving the rocket to some place almost accessible by the old Amtrak Pacific Surfliner, where the water is colder, the marine layers are rarer, and where this rocket will feel right at home.

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FADE IN:
EXT. CITY HIGHWAY - NOON

DESMOND:
Jane (@penguinchris), high noon finds me outside Burbank and still headed south. I can see the hills of Griffith Park poking up to my right. Strangely quiet ride down so far, aside from those dirtbikes.

Here’s the fourth. I am hoping the “unnamed colleague” he mentions here to be Fleetwood. It would be a shame if there is a fourth player in this scenario that we have overlooked. That wild card of Mel has been enough trouble already and I fear we are being spread too thin as our numbers dwindle. Desmond out.

4////////////////////////////////////////////
You imply something that is not necessarily a given: that Cougar intends to use this rocket (correct me if I’m wrong) to go to Mars. To Mars. The fourth planet from the Sun. You’re saying that she plans to go there… perhaps to frolic among the little green men?

You disappoint me, Bubba. Or rather, you sadden me. I know you do not suffer such a poverty of imagination as to believe that there is only one possible use (and that sourced from what must be a dogeared pile of comic books) for the single most advanced vehicle ever devised by the hand of Man.

There are any number of enriching, life-giving, and world-changing enterprises which could be made possible with this ship. And there are just as many destructive, genocidal uses to which it could be put as well. I know you realize this. And I know you suspect that Cougar knows this as well.

You’re being coy with me. As you mentioned, the crawler is made for fairly level terrain. Burdened as she is with a 300-foot-tall payload, she’d never make it down the 7% Conejo Grade without toppling or burning out her brakes. Unless someone has built a launchpad in Thousand Oaks recently, I don’t believe you’re headed west, young man. At all.

I need a look at this device. I need to see it with mine own eyes. You could make this happen.

I know you are wise, Bubba. You always were, and you still are wise enough to know that a life spent accumulating stamped aluminum plates with which to buy a gallon of gasoline, a few rounds of ammunition, and perhaps the comforts of late-night companionship… that life is for the small. The weak. The unimaginative.

We have vision, you and I. Couple that vision to the deep resources of my unnamed colleague, and we could go far indeed.

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I’ll join Desmond on Mission2.

These Mars Yards by Tom Sachs are amazing, and just my size! I’ll take these and a communicator for Mission2. Soon these Mars Yards are going to be stomping the yards in Mars!

I’d also like to call a pair of dilithium crystals (2) for my fuel tank and suggest we spread any remainder out among our slower vehicles - we don’t want anyone left behind in a situation where fighting isn’t an option.

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Oh. Oh oh oh my. Oh my.

These Mars Yards are DIVINE. Sorry folks but I’m gonna have to claim these. They are helping me feel reverberations in the TCB I never felt before.

Just lemme get these laces tight and… wow - do you all see those butterflies? Did I sniff too much of the glue on Mission6? This communicator … can I put it in my ear like a babel fish?

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffmmmmmmmmmmm. Oh, that’s good. That’s very good. The EN it’s… it’s … it’s so much at once!

Jane (@penguinchris), Marion’s messages are clear to me. I think I know what’s going on.

<<
5////////////////////////////////////////////
Since we seem to be leveling with each other, having this heart-to-heart, it would be only proper for me to admit that I had a loyalty test for you, too. In this test, we were two against one against Mr. Rockatansky. Remember that? And when he clipped my wings, you flew away.

You always said, “Remember the Night Rider.” Well, that day I coined another saying, “Remember the Fright Flyer.”

I’ve got good reason to see you dead, Toecutter. But, like you say, I’ve always been wise, and power accumulates. So tell me, old friend, what do you have that’s more valuable than my quaint little notions of revenge? You have my full attention.
<<

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Jane (@penguinchris), it’s becoming clear that Bubba conspired against us with Toecutter. That dirty little scout!

There are more names coming up. Washington? Blazer? Could they be in on this? Could there still be another of Toecutter’s collaborators in our convoy?

<<
6////////////////////////////////////////////
We all go to hell in our own way, Bubba. I would not rob you of your dignity by throwing myself in your path at the last. In that moment, I believed my loyal friend and companion already dead… or wishing to be so.

I think in this instance it may be you who already possess something far more valuable than revenge, though you do not yet realize it. I must be allowed to inspect that which you fight so very hard to protect. Is that so much to ask? How much damage could I possibly cause to your convoy, especially with you there to mark my every move?

I need only safe passage in and out. The entire thing should take fewer than ten minutes. If I am wrong about what you’re taking north, then we can go our separate ways if you like, with no more harm befalling you or your new friends than that which falls with the rain. If I am right, however, I truly believe you’ll want to be with me. The odds against your convoy, at that point, will be well-nigh insurmountable.

Because my friends and I can always inspect the cargo at our leisure… once you and your friends have ceased to be in the way. If that’s the way you’d prefer to play it.

7////////////////////////////////////////////
Hello, Washington.

I think you know who I am. I have a proposition for you.

I know you don’t have a particularly high opinion of me. Certainly Blazer has poisoned the well for me among all his compatriots, and he would have you believe I’m some kind of sociopath who would leave someone strung up and naked to perish in the elements, just so I could drive away with five of his gallons of gasoline. There was a time when such an opinion of me would not have been far from the truth. But you know as well as I do that much has changed in recent times.

When it comes down to it, I confess I feel your talents and potential are being wasted in Cougar’s company as well. She uses you and your blind loyalty to further her insane ambitions, babysitting that ridiculous rocket and paying you in stamped tin to haul her payload out to the desert… and for what? So you can go with her on her doomed trip to another planet? Where all of you would die a cold, lonely, unpleasant death thirty-seven million miles from home, assuming you don’t simply die on the way?

You’re smarter than that. And, I think, more humane. You see, people like you and me, we’re not the only people left on this planet. I put to you that there are a great many people, thousands, maybe millions, who don’t deserve to be left behind to expire on a dying planet. There are still children here.

But what can we do for all those unfortunates? Well, that’s a valid question. And one for which I believe I have an answer.

The Marion crawler-transporter underneath the rocket. Cougar probably hasn’t told you, but that crawler bears a secret payload far more important to the survival of the human race than any mere rocket ship. That secret could, if used properly by the right people, save our home planet from ultimate destruction. Nobody would need to leave. Everything could be fixed right here, and the planet restored to its former good health of a century ago.

You may think me mad, but remember: I am not the one contemplating moving away to the Red Planet, to live among the little green men.

Help me to infiltrate the crawler, and extract the power source. Nobody need get hurt. Nobody need know.

Think of the children.

I await your confidential reply.

Toecutter

<<

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FADE IN:
EXT. CITY HIGHWAY - EARLY AFTERNOON

DESMOND:
Jane (@penguinchris), Rideword has caught up with me and we’re making our way southward past the zoo. The animals have been let loose from their cages a while ago and they have reverted to their animalistic ways. Mutations have not helped matters. But most of Griffith Park has been turned over to them. We’ll be coming in the back way, so to speak, along Los Feliz Boulevard. I understand most gangs leave the place be and it’s become a home to squatters who are willing to deal with different types of animals on both sides. But they seemingly keep to themselves for the most part, we’ll see.

The traitor appears to be Washington, if you can please restrain him and his little Bond Bug it would be appreciated. This precludes that he has not already fled. If the former, we are too close to our destination for him to alert anyone. If the latter, we’re walking into a trap anyway and you should be alerted to our findings before we are hung up next to Clank. The information provided by Stretch’s head has led us to the famous Batcave deep in Bronson Canyon. We’ll do a quick quiet scouting and let you know if it’s worth it for Mission 3 to backtrack this far. Desmond out.

8////////////////////////////////////////////
Well, I didn’t expect to be hearing from you. You’ve been outed by Bubba already, and even though that may have been due, in part, to the rather bumpy past that you two have, I can’t figure out any kind of reason why I ought to give you any different response than he did.

I’ve heard enough about your character to make me think twice before cutting any deals with you, and while I can’t really trust anyone these days, Cougar and I have worked together for at least a little while now. She’s earned some of my respect, and I’d rather have her at my back than any one of you scum who could stand to work with Fleetwood. Of course, I’ve been hearing that you and he aren’t getting along either, these days. If you and he hadn’t parted ways, I can’t say if even be responding to your little message.

Alright, so as much as I don’t like you, you’re not completely wrong. I can’t pretend to know what the future is going to bring if we ever even get this damned rocket where Cougar says it’s gotta go. But here’s where I’m coming from - all I’m trying to do is to to get to somewhere I can maybe live out the rest of my days without having to always watch my ass. So far, Cougar’s the only one I met who seems to have any kind of idea how we might escape this hell-hole, so though I’m not particularly tickled by the idea of a flight in that thing, I’ll take my orders from Cougar and Blazer until something better comes along. If you really know something about Marion which could really prove to benefit us all, you lay it on me, and maybe I’ll come around. But you’d better be earnest.

So here’s what I want from you. You tell me just what it is you hope to accomplish with Marion, and you give me some kind of reason why I ought to believe that you give a damn about the children. You tell me those things, and maybe I’ll listen a little more intently.

Anyways, the assterburner on my ShitGo is acting up, so I gotta go get it fixed up. I’ll be waiting for a reply.

6 Likes

Looks like we have a location for you guys. I hope you like spelunking, Junior.

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9////////////////////////////////////////////
Listen to yourself. Look around. Think about what you’re doing. Cougar wants you to help her go to Mars. Isn’t that about the silliest and most childish science-fiction dream anyone could have? How is that a respectable goal?

Fleetwood serves a purpose. He’s not clever enough to have layers of subtext about him; he’s exactly what he claims to be: the single most powerful man on the West Coast. It suits me to be on the winning side for as long as it keeps winning, and Fleetwood’s resources and deep pockets are not to be sneezed at. But a cunning person in the right place at the right time could go far indeed… with or without Fleetwood.

He’s not going to be around forever. No, indeed.

Allow me to introduce you to something better.

The Marion crawler/transporter is just a vehicle. The largest and most powerful land vehicle on Earth, but it’s no more than a forklift as far as I’m concerned. But inside the crawler is the Holy Grail, the one remaining hope for humanity on Earth: the only extant Gen V SHITGO module on the planet. It’s the thing that allows two dozen passenger cars and trucks to haul 24 million pounds of metal across the county. It’s the power source with which Cougar intends to terraform the planet Mars, for the sole benefit of whatever few people she condescends to allow aboard her precious rocket.

It’s the thing that could, if used properly by responsible hands, reverse most of the damage our species have wrought upon the skin of our homeworld. It could save the Earth, and the lives of the millions of people who remain here.

Do you really want to help Cougar steal the world’s only hope and hijack it to a planet that never asked for it? I am no longer the only one who knows of the Gen V’s existence. I, and other likeminded souls, will never allow the Gen V to be stolen without the bitterest fight we can muster.

Do you really want to be on the wrong side of history, Washington?
<<

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FADE IN:
EXT. VALLEY ROADWAY - EARLY EVENING

DESMOND:
Jane (@penguinchris), holy hubcaps, things just got real. Wash appears to have called Mel in to kidnap The Kid. Please restrain Cougar as best you can. But if anyone’s missing fingers and needs some fresh protein for the extruder that you have, you might want to start with him to get a location on Mel.

That said, watch yourselves coming down Los Feliz, there’s a big left at the end where the park comes out to meet the roadway and that’s where a group of feral scavengers attacked us. On ostriches. Those things are fast and mean. Rideword pretty much laid on the pedal and I followed through the gap, but they might be a little more prepared if there’s a larger group.
http://webassets.scea.com/forums/35957_Ostrich-Riding_20110725579_5186.jpg

Getting out on foot here to poke our heads over the nearby hill. If you don’t hear from us for the rest of the night, something went down and we’re going to need you to come out swinging to get us. Desmond out.

10//////////////////////////////////////////// Okay, I’m in. I have to apply Occam’s Razor here, and I’m forced to conclude that you’re making more sense than Cougar is at this point.

The Gen V is closely watched, so you’re going to have to create one hell of a diversion. Soon would be good; most of the Drivers are out on missions.

I have an ace in the hole. Mad Mel. I was hoping to get that arrogant dogkiller Gonville De’Ath taken down a peg or two, but it didn’t work out. Still, Mel is a fast bastard with a well-stocked garage down at Warners. I think he’ll do me one more favor.

Stay close and keep your eyes peeled. You’ll know when to make your move.

Just don’t let anyone get hurt or I swear to God I’ll cut you where you stand.

–Washington.

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FADE IN:
EXT. RIDGE TOP - SUNSET

DESMOND:
We reconnoitered:

We saw bad guys at the cave:

Crank up the Warren Zevon and get down here, we’ll meet you at Exit 141 off the 5:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP5Xv7QqXiM

Desmond and Rideword out.

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I didn’t bother sticking to the 14 freeway. Somebody launched a rocket at the cliffs, caused a landslide… probably Mel since it looks fresh. The road’s not impassable, but it’s a mess. I saw some tracks coming off the Newhall ramp, but I think that’s a feint. I can hear that Lincoln’s engine screaming even from here, dead ahead…

…yeah, the rough terrain is slowing him down. I’m almost in range. I can see the kid’s hair through that bubble-top. Looks like he’s puttin’ up a fight. He’s okay right now, Cougar. I’ll get…

Jesus! That thing can move.

Okay, I got him. We’re at Vasquez Rocks, just up the 14. He had to slow way down to squeeze past these cliffs. I’m gonna grind him against the rocks, force him to stop. When I… shit! What’s that thing?

AAIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!

crunch

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Blazer? Copy Blazer? Copy?

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Holy crap!

Uh, this might not be the appropriate time for me to claim the Dunks, for shoes, but órale, I want those shoes!

Not quite as good as these,

but they’ll do.

Oh, and for mission selection, I’m going for three, we’ve gotta find Clank.

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Here lies the sorry wreck of poor brave Chevy Blazer
Went wheel to wheel with Mad Mel without a Mark 2 Phaser
'gainst the Aussie drunk, Blazer never had a sniff
Got a faceful of assterburner and tumbled down a cliff

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There once was a Driver named Blazer
Who’s babyface never needed a razer
When the going got tough
He veered off a bluff
And went down faster than Frazier.

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Thanks to the help of Desmond (@SteampunkBanana) and Rideword (@Solomon), the TCB transmissions from Marion have been decoded!

You can read the complete log here: http://www.datalorem.com/bronsonbatcave/

Bronson Bat Cave was the final code, injected by Marion, revealing Marion and Clankenstein’s location.

Something curious revealed itself during this process, however. Junior (@funruly) - what’s your connection to all this? The decryption grid ( http://www.datalorem.com/decryptiongrid.pdf ) was peppered with clues that make me think of you for some strange reason.

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