Badass Space Dragon 2.0 - Round 2 - Cut & Paste

Damnation, you’re correct! I ssshall edit. My thanksss to your sharply focusssed accountant’sss green eyeshade.

1 Like

Self-Interested Cooperation is the Basis for All Success

With 15 hours until close: here are the mission signups.

Mission 1: Capt Natasha Fatale, Audacious Blip
MIssion 2: Capt Nollie Underflip, Scrumpert
Mission 3: Eighteen Captains!
Mission 4: Capt Information, SLS Say Monkey

Captain @rkt88edmo of the Awesomating Overthruster needs to resubmit orders.

Ten active captains have yet to sign up, including @maxd @greenglyph @Demiurgus @deisum @Slaal @BradfordBenn @micaela

Currently, Natasha looks brilliant for choosing Mission 1. A nearly-damage free milk run for a B100.0 mission payout. Even if two more sign up for this mission, they’ll all still look brilliant: a stroll in the park with a B33.3 mission payout.

Several ships that I expected to take Mission 1 have already signed up for other missions. So at this point, I have to assume I was wrong and there won’t be a problem with “too many” ships on Mission 1.

Mission 3 is quite interesting. Seventeen high level execs? Must be bringing the entire Board, the CXOs, and the telephone sanitizers. No Pirate will dare mess with this flotilla.

Actually, this flotilla looks more like an invasion fleet than a corporate junket. Hmm…

Mission 1 is currently the best deal going. Damn you Unizone!

You have until Midnight Pacific Time to choose (or change) your missions.

Enjoy Today. Make Money. Stay Alive


I am going to protect my Hatship! After all Hats are important. I am going with the safer Mission One Chase option.

I am going to use the extra transit time to figure out how to pilot the perils of deep space while nursing a hangover from staying out too late schmoozing with prospective co-conspirators.

1 Like

An interesting predicament. All those question marks are probable covering 10% of a banana peel, 100% feeling of remorse etc. Never been a pack animal so that extravagant tip will have to wait, grit or no.

One wonders if several other captains are waiting until ten seconds before the missions are locked to post their choice.

Time for a cup of chai, I think.


Harumpf. I don’t know what you think you are implying.

I always dock in this bay. Brings me luck.

I see the old shamrock for sure so’s I do sonny, see?

But I don’t recognise the dock there so’s I don’t no.




“You feee-und!”

1 Like

Is that the green bay they re-painted this year, after somebody blew all the blues away?

or is it the Ellis Dock?

Whoah. That’s worse than Space-Rock-n-bowl at the Galaxie lanes on grub-night. Ouch.

me, Imma thinking I’ll stick with smoke


[Six partialité comme une idée maîtresse.]


I chose a cargo-carrying mission despite not having any cargo space. I was eyeing SpaceStream trailers in the Unizone dealership showroom but I didn’t end up needing one; my cargo turned out to be rather small. I didn’t peek but I shook the box and I think it was printed paper and small data storage devices. I guess somebody doesn’t trust the space-internet.

Though my ship is still rather shabby-looking, I brushed off the pixel dust, plugged the shield boosters in, and set off. I left my helmet on because I don’t trust the shields to preserve life-support integrity, given how leaky my hull is. This turned out to be a good decision, because I got rather beat up by asteroids. I think my propulsion and steering system may not quite be up to snuff - just one more thing I need to upgrade to survive here, no surprise. Why couldn’t I make first contact with a post-monetary galaxy instead??

After making my way through the asteroid field I delivered the package to a guy wearing clothing made out of space blankets (including a space-foil hat), uneventfully. On the way back, naturally I came across some space pirates. They quickly realized that it’d be physically impossible to board my ship, but, presumably suspecting I had something of value on board (what does my ship look like to them, a space cadillac?) they blasted a hole through my shields and tore off one of the doors and rooted around inside my luggage and empty pizza boxes in the back with a robotic arm.

Powerless to do anything else, I flipped the camera on the robotic arm the finger. It paused, stopped rooting around, and returned the gesture before politely putting everything back in place and retreating. It tried to grab the door, but it had already floated off. I thought it had just realized I didn’t have anything, but a few minutes later I received a cryptic apology on a secure channel:


The ship sulked off hastily, in a sort of embarrassed way, which I didn’t realize was possible to deduce from observing a ship fly (“fly casual”). Have I accidentally discovered a secret handshake (of sorts) of the SpaceMasons?

Anyway, I made it back. I am not sure I understand why repairs are so expensive, when an honest day’s work pays so little (maybe I can answer that question myself now that I think about it). I would have thought my ship’s primitive technology would be a snap to repair by Unizone, but perhaps it’s just too foreign for them.

Perhaps because of my shrewd investments thus far (and not paying for any of my drinks at Duck’s), I have a relatively high amount of SpaceBits compared to many captains (though I wonder how honest everybody’s public accounting data is). Yet, I still must go into deep debt if I want to make any significant advancement. Once again… why am I in this galaxy?? Also, man, I wasn’t born yesterday, and I’m not doing any dirty work for Unizone. Not that I want to get on Unizone’s bad side by saying anything negative about them… yet.

With my relatively high GRIT, I have a decent shot at an extravagant tip on mission 3. However, instead of spending money on firepower upgrades in order to qualify, I’m throwing caution to the solar wind and choosing mission 4. I just can’t resist a mystery and it seems I can’t avoid going into debt, so, YOLO. I went ahead and took out a Unizone credit card with a b50 credit limit.

////Unizone PayBot Receipt			  	  	    ROUND TWO////
|										|
|										|
|-HULL WHOLE HOLE FILLER (+10HP) x2	-b40.0000				|
|										|
|										|
|										|
|	-SAND FISH CARTON x4		-b40.0000				|
|										|
|										|
|				TOTAL:	-b80.0000				|
|					+b50.0000				|
|					+b30.0000				|
|	 SIGNATURE:								|
|	 |	 _ __                   _ __                  	    |		|
|	 |	( /  )/                ( /  )                 	    |		|
|	 |	 /--'/_ , ,___ _  _,    /  /_, , ,__  ,_ _ _  	    |		|
|	 |	/   / /(_/(_) / /(_)_  /  ((_)(_// (_/(// / /_	    |		|
|	 |	                  /|        /|      /         	    |		|
|	 |	                 (/        (/      '         	    |		|
|										|
|	REMAINING BANK BALANCE: 	b1.5000					|
|										|
|										|
|										|
|				 HOW DID WE DO?					|
|			       A Ƀ.100 GIFT CARD!				|
|										|
|				      MOMO					|
|										|
|										|
|										|
|				    THANK YOU					|
|										|

8: Slug races imminent. Bet?

“I’m sorry, 8. I know it’s your great-granduncle in that race, but we’ve got expenses. I promise if we have a few extra bits, I’ll stake you for the next one.”

3: Damage taken to hull plate 3.6. Integrity at 84%

“Okay, I think just polarizing the plating isn’t going to cut it out here in the 'ryb.”

dex@smmm1:~# PURCHASE 'Unizone Shield Boosters' x 2 (-b20)

“So, I think this Caramedean temple looks pretty int–”


“Hmm…All right, we’ll try it your way…I am curious what else might be on Althorp…”

dex@smmm1:~# SELECT 'Mission 4, 1 container'

Hm. Those there aren’t terrible options, but I’d say they leave just a little to be desired.

My my, but does this Front place seem popular. Sounds violent, though, and I didn’t get to where I am today by involving myself in any battles what couldn’t be run from before they even started. Of course, I also wouldn’t be the man my mother raised if I made wise decisions, now would I? Looks like I’ll need me 2 sand fish containers to travel To the Heart, though it sounds a questionable place, and damn repairs; the Pennywhistle ain’t leaking more air than she can spare, yet, and at least half the fuel stays in the tank.

Now I may be stupid, but at least I ain’t stupid. I’d better get me a Unizone Shield Booster to do what I can in the way of not being obliterated by the, er, the whatever it is between me and the gritty seafood.

b8.3000 is just gonna have to last me until I get back. Sure do hope I get back…


It’s not fucking field experience, Cathe. It’s drudge-work. I don’t care how they spin it - we’re sculptors, and they’ve got us metalworking

Stow it, sisterkin. Let me look at that - Housedeath, that’s heavy! A 'Unizone cloaking device,’ huh? How… primitive? Surely they can’t be… they wouldn’t be so…

It’s one segment of seventeen, Cathe. Thankfully they seem to follow the enginering and aesthetic school of the Big Dumb Object - and even your welding wouldn’t be enough to damage it.

Cull it, Swisfit. Fine. I’ll make something beautiful with it - but I don’t see why we can’t just scrub the hull and reapply the n-tropy textures.

Because, my dear, we’ve not had access to that sort of tech since we sundered ourselves from the House.

Remind me, again, why that was such a good idea…

So - you got a decent substantiation vis the software paradigms?

A s’matter, yeah. I took a code-sketch specialisation a while back. Remember the autonomous swarms outside of Penumbra - the ones that ended up eating that icesteroid?

The one’s we had to cordon off and quarantine.

Yeah. They were a collab between myself and Ingeliq - I did the schema for them.

Well… hmm… that’s. That’s maybe not what I was looking for. But hell - I need someone to run the install patterns with Unizone Communications Enhancement Software Kit

Ha! Oh, this is going to be… interesting. See, it’s compiled for old doped-silicon hardware - discrete, real-life, absolutely non-quantum. No tunnelling nothing. So we’ll have to emulate it back in the workings of the ships core - run a simulation of the ship as if it were running non-infinite processes - and then hook the software back up to the surface processes. Could be interesting - definitely some presentation value in it.

Cool, cool - but if I hand this off, I need to have some collab input in it - at least a third artists rank.



… dealt.

Simony. This is a mess, kid-kith. We’re doing drudge work, and we’re not getting the research standing. This isn’t even a cultural dig - it’s delivery run! They’re cutting our funding To The Bone


“Chee, could you please raise Nicolas Van Rijn on our dedicated link? I need to talk to him”

“Sure thing, David. But keep in mind, pushing our signal all the way back to Terra creates enough quantum gravity disturbances that it’s not a secure line”

“Understood Chee. Thanks.”

“David, how good to hear from you. Do our profits grow?”

“That’s what we need to talk about, Nick. I’ve made some great contacts with other independent operators, but Unizone corp controls the customer interface and is only dribbling out modest contracts. The best deal going right now is escorting execs to a mining sector.”

“David, I didn’t send one my favorite ships to a different galaxy to be a baby sitter”

“Well, there is also helping out some archaeologists - I’d bring you back some fantastic bottles from Benemede”

“Sounds delicious. But not now. David, what is that word along side your name?”

“um, Star Trader?”

“So what are you supposed to be doing in Charybdis with my ship?”


“Exactly. And what else?”

“Building contacts for future trades.”

“Where do the best Space Lizards apprentice before heading out to the stars?”

“Althorp. Gutting sandfish. Hell, even Don Mondo started out there.”

“David, could this be any more obvious?”

“No. How did I not see this?”

“One more thing: upgrade the comm links on the The Muddlin’ Through. You need a more secure line.”

“Will do, Nick. Expect us to get a little banged up, but I’ll take good care of your ship”

Mission 4 - To the Heart

b17.50 Starting balance
-b 6.00 slugfish bets
-b10.00 Unizone Communications Enhancement Software Kit(+6 EN)

b  1.50  ending cash balance

In addition, I am engaging Unizone Credit S.A. as a factor to finance my sandfish inventory against future receivables.

Unizone credit: b 50
Five containers of Sandfish.


mission 2


“Hey Mooom, how you been?”

Where are you Browf? It’s been two weeks since you called your deer sweet mother.

Always reminding me of my half-deer heritage. That’s Mom

“Good Mom, I’m in Charybdis workin—”

Charybdis?! What’re doing all the way out there? You’re supposed to be with US on Kongakut-5. Your family misses you.

“Mom, I’m trying to earn that money I owe to—”

Bull, you’re always trying to get rich quick. You can’t keep abandoning your herd like this. We bought you that high-tech fancy spacecraft to support the family business: shipping bark snacks to other planets. And don’t give me none of that sass about no-one liking them moose snacks on account of them not being a moose.

“Mom, I love you but my VIP is about to arrive at my dock. I’ll see you when I get there. Bye.”

VIP? Are you running a taxi servi—


Sir Patrick: Ambassador! Nice to see you. Oh, ah, yes - live long and prosper to you too. I don’t have enough appendages for this gesture but you get the gist.

Phuong: Is this another SpaceMason gesture?

Sir Patrick: Huh?

Phuong: That’s what they WOULD say.

Sir Patrick: Right… Duck, some Romulan Ale for my friend the ambassador. So Phuong, Mission 4 eh? I’d go along with you, but I would really like some honeywine right now. That’s pretty much all I can think about at the moment. Like seriously.


Hmmm, mission 1 sounds a bit like a bait and switch technique. I wonder how much you have to owe Unizone before you get a package delivery… “Elusive Clients.” Sure… At least call it a bounty hunter mission, I bet you would get more takers.

Mission 2 is more up my alley. Not the dig, that sounds boring. But the Honeywine, now we’re talking. Science doesn’t pay, but scientists do drink well! This mission makes me wish I was as lucky as I am fast…

Mission 3 sounds like an army. It’s the best money out there; the army does pay pretty well, but could they be asking for a larger sacrifice?

Mission 4 would be my pick if I had more money to spend on cargo. I wonder if Unizone debt can be leveraged to purchase sand fish? That seems unlikely since it doesn’t appear to be a Unizone sanctioned mission like the other three (no payback option). I’m mostly intrigued by the gambling nature of the bonus items.

I guess mission 3 is for me, the money is just too good. I suppose the quattro can always turn deserter and end up an “elusive client” in the future if it gets too hot or things start to feel wrong.

Starting balance: b32.8
Unizone Blasters: - b20
2x Unizone Communications Enhancement Software Kit (mostly on credit): -b20
Mission 3: -b10

Current debt to the Unizone Parts for Partners Program: b17.2

1 Like

Looks like the thread is closing a bit early again. I’ll take mission selections from stragglers if you message me before 10am AKST on Friday.

This topic was automatically closed after 2 days. New replies are no longer allowed.