Badass Space Dragon 2.0 - The Royal Bowler

The Royal Bowler

Haberdasher & Fine Spirits

A familiar voice croaks and crackles to life on the hailing channel.

Good day fellow Charybdians. I understand my return to public life may be met with some skepticism and shock but I assure you, I’ve only ever lived to serve this galaxy and her people.

I wish to live the life of a simple businessman and with the unification amnesty declared by our wise assembly of leaders, I am happy to pursue that dream.

At the Royal Bowler, all hats are made from molecularly hardened materials and guaranteed to be one-of-a-kind. All spirits are made from even stronger stuff! Zehahahahahaha!

:tophat: Hats :tophat:

Velvet Moose Hat ~ b400
This hat isn’t exclusively for moose, it just looks like a moose.

Propeller Beanie ~ b400
Just enough power to lift you out of a tight spot, not recommended for operation in zero-G.

Panama Hat ~ b500
Lovely little hat for a stroll around the bridge.

Pith Helmet ~ b500 - SOLD
An excellent helmet for exploring.

Kettle Hat ~ b500
Good for fighting and making soup.

Pillbox Hat ~ b500 - SOLD
Just the thing for all those pills.

Spanghelm ~ b500
Keeps your melon safe and comes with ear flaps. Nice, if you have ears.

Ushanka ~ b500
Made from the finest muskrabbit skins. Complete with ear-flaps to protect against the cold of space.

Bee-Keeper’s Hat ~ b500
An essential hat for ships powered by organic honey crystals.

Racer’s Derby ~ b500
Nothing says “winner” like this slightly slimy space slug Racer’s Derby.

Square Crowned Bowler ~ b500 - SOLD
Razor edged and molecularly hardened for the occasional odd job.

Pork Pie ~ b500 - SOLD
Scratch and sniff.

Opera Style ~ b800
The very best in collapsible fashion.

Biretta ~ b800
It looks and smells like a little cake box.

:beer: Booze :beer:

Chateau de Manos '66 ~ b2/glass

Tropical Coolant ~ b2/glass

Benemede Honeywine ~ b5/cask

Note: Please include any purchases with your weekly mission selection.


Monsieur Proprietor…do you also buy items?


I have just the thing to go with your hats, sirrah. I think this would be perfect for you.


Indeed - a cask serves how many glasses? Honeywine gets served in little teeny weeny sake cups no?

And who is our mysterious purveyor of hats and libations?

Might he/she/it have a line on a great fuzzy pink hat worthy of adorning a monstrous mooserack? There was a pair of sunglasses once as a young calf that I was quite infatuated with as I survived on the streets and back alleys, but they were always out of my grasp, I didn’t have enough the wits to rise among the clamor to claim a pair of my own. Indeed, I was lucky enough to survive and get offplanet with my cape and rack intact.

< whispering > Hey, calf, I hear it’s the big guy. I also hearz it’s not good manners to be caught staring at the patch.

Just browsing…


A refined space shrimp with a monocle and moustache paddles over on his swimmerets.

Mr. Podidea: If you see anything you like, let me know. All hats are one of a kind and crafted by the finest hatters in the universe. Have some tea?


The selection you have, whilst charming, and beautifully made, seems a little…mufti for my tastes.

Do you perchance have anything more, well, martial? A pith helmet, perhaps? A cocked hat? A tricorne?

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Mr. Podidea: I rummaged around in the back, we do have a pith helmet but you might consider the kettle or spanghelm as another option. It does seem that things are getting a bit tense, always nice to have a hat that declares your intentions.

Obviously, if you have to ask, you can’t afford, but…