Bible stops bullets


#1

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#2

You'd probably need the old testament as well.


#3

That reminds me...I really should start carrying a copy of Moby Dick.


#4

the article doesn't state whether it was the hardcover or paperback edition

Denim-bound


#5

God's on Rick's side

Which deity do we thank when smartphones block bullets?

http://m.digitaltrends.com/mobile/5-phones-that-stopped-bullets/


#6


#7

Better title:
"Book in pocket stops bullets"


#8

Larry Flynt's ass stopped a bullet; that makes him the Chosen One.


#9

Take THAT atheists /s


#10

Can we also get a post every time a bible fails to stop a bullet?


#11

I can tell you how many times a Gideon Bible failed to prevent sodomy in a hotel room.


#12

While we're at it, how about a daytime T.V. talk-show interview every time someone isn't helped by an angel, every time God doesn't help people after they pray, and every time Jesus doesn't lead his favorite football team to victory.

It would be a nice change of pace.


#13

[gunshot, Flanders is knocked down]

Ned Flanders: Whew, good thing I always keep a Bible next to my...

[second gunshot, Flanders is knocked down again]

Ned Flanders: Whew, luckily I was wearing an extra large piece of the True Cross today. I think I'll go inside.


#14

Hey, you're right!

Bible in pocket stops bullet...
Zippo in pocket stops bullet...
Smartphone in pocket stops bullet...

This is a discovery!

GOD LOVES POCKETSES!

I'm never wearing a pocketless shirt again.


#15

Obligatory quote from 'Support Your Local Sheriff':

Jason McCullough: [Fingering dented badge] That must have saved the life of whoever was wearin' it.

Mayor Olly Perkins: Well, it sure would have, if it hadn't been for all them other bullets flyin' in from everywhere.


#16

And if the bullet had missed the Bible and killed Mr. Wagoner, at least one person at his funeral would've said something like, "God decided it was time to call him home."

Hey, maybe this is a sign that God wants better gun control laws!


#17

If God was truly looking out for him, he never would have been attacked in the first place. So apparently God wanted him shot but not dead.


#18

So if there were a God, she'd probably like the bible less than people. I can live with that.


#19

Have you ever heard of a Quran stopping a bullet? Or a pocket collection of Buddhist Sutras, or the Hindu vedas? I think not!

The evidence is clear - God hates Bibles and those who carry them! Why else would they be such bullet magnets when none of the other holy books are? smiling_imp


#20

There must be a case of a bullet being stopped by a copy of the Kama Sutra somewhere.