Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/03/21/bigfoot-is-an-unholy-hybrid-of-fallen-angels-humans-and-apes-says-reverend-exorcist.html
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I assumed he meant metaphorically, not literally. Ow, my brain hurts!
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Also…
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Put down the peyote, Rev Bean.
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In all of the best ways, yeah
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Reverend Bean says he believes unidentified flying objects could be divine Merkabah Chariots – vehicles he claims carried Satan and a third of the angels down to Earth after they were cast out of Heaven. “They came down here and they took human women and produced a hybrid offspring of giants called the Nephilim,” he added. "The Nephilim went into the fields and the forests and had unnatural sex acts with apes, bears, wolves, dogs, monkeys – you name it. And that is the Bigfoot, Sasquach creatures.
just so we’re ‘clear’, this fine gentleman is solidly implying that the fallen angels (not a band name), a third of all angels, (so they’re out-numbered from the get go) must be (evil horny) males. Always like to draw what conclusions one may from these savants. but what of the mothman??
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This reminded me of someone I hadn’t thought of in many years: Polish-American sculptor Stanislaw Szukalski. His extraordinary sculptures were part of the “Chicago Renaissance” in the WWI era. They were unique, visionary, and bizarre–as was Szukalski himself. He was obsessed with “Zermatism,” which was [to quote Wikipedia] “the pseudoscientific theory …positing that all human culture was derived from post-deluge Easter Island and that humankind was locked in an eternal struggle with the Sons of Yeti (“Yetinsyny”), the offspring of Yeti and humans.”
I have a copy of a double-sided softbound book published by Glen Bray in the early 70s. Half the book is A Troughful of Pearls, a retrospective of Szukalski’s work. Flip it over and you have Behold the Protong! in which the artist lays out his theory that all world languages derived from a mother tongue, the Protong, which originated in Poland.
He goes on at length about how ancient Yetis assaulted human women and gave rise to a race of hybrids who are now responsible for most of the world’s ills. The Yetinsyn are born with tails which their parents chop off at birth so they can pass in human society. But if you know how to look, you can identify them. Among the Yetinsyn were Soviet leaders, labor leader John L. Lewis, and other folk Szukalski didn’t care for. For the curious here’s the Wikipedia entry:
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bah. he just saw this particular episode on the phone of one of his exorcism assistants and decided it was time for a little clarity on the matter.
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Huh. I just assumed they fell all the way down, I didn’t realize they had to take an Uber.
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I’m sorry, but this goes against accepted science. Bigfoot is an immortal magician who existed before the earth was formed. What humans call “Bigfoot” is actually a “blood-bonded ape”, the offspring of a Red Alien with Bigfoot. Blood-bonded apes are here for good, to trap demons in crystals but the CIA is working to destroy their plans. It’s simple science, folks. (learned about this via the 1900HotDog podcast)
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hmm, seems to me he’s spent a LOT of time thinking about various things having sex with other things…
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So “Bigfoot” is a mix of apes, bears, wolves, dogs, monkeys, etc? Or specifically apes, and the rest are some other cryptids? The genetics of this are causing my head to spin… This notion is so bloody Mediaeval, premised on the belief that all animals could interbreed.
Presumably one of the Nephilim got “bug fever.”
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Cool as Hell.
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Maybe not. Maybe He Just visited Amazon website and did a quick research. There are a lot of books on the subject witen by Chuck Tingle, for example. Boingboing told us.
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Sounds like he is a legend in his own mind.
Ob:
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So if I understand correctly then Bigfoot got its ape-like appearance from one parent, its inability to be photographed from the other, and its presence on a continent where there are no non-human apes to breed with was a novel mutation.
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I’m a little surprised that he didn’t go with that…somewhat cryptic…section in Genesis 6:2-4 where unspecified ‘sons of god’ were interbreeding with humans to produce giants.
Maybe that one is too well known to count as a professionally interesting interpretation?
Sounds a bit like neon genesis evangelion, without the cool bits
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