Bleach and cocaine do not a coronavirus cure make

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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/bleach-and-cocaine-do-not-a-co.html

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Hey, if Alex Jones wants to add bleach to his cocaine, by all means, let him do it!

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“Garlic masterbation”? How does that even work?

Oh, wait. There’s a comma. Never mind…

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I suppose there’s always the cleansing power of fire.

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Torn between commenting with predictable ‘take off and nuke it from space’ solution and commenting about my despair that the WHO has/needs a TikTok account.

Maybe take off and nuke TikTok from space?

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Rule 34, there is always a way!

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Even Jude Law dissapproves.

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Hey now, how do we know that wanking and coke don’t cure virus-thingies?.
Clearly the scientific thing to do is test these claims.
I’m going to need a kilo, and some lube. Better make that lots of lube.

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Does catching COVID-19 activate a long term immune response thus making me less susceptible to catching it this fall ?

Or should I stick with the cocaine ?

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masturbation

I didn’t catch coronavirus a single time during high school, so this one checks out.

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masturbation

I didn’t catch coronavirus a single time during high school, so this one checks out.

I didn’t catch coronavirus a single time this week, so this one checks out.

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I’ve been coughing and sneezing into my elbow all morning. Am I immune yet?

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I’m conflicted. The whole bleach thing, known as “MMS” to its loony adherents, has been around as a cure-all for a while now. I don’t want people to hurt themselves, but if someone tells you to drink bleach, and you do it, well, you’re on your own.

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Plus, what are you supposed to be doing while you’re cooped up inside?

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“Garlic Masterbation” is the name of my trash punk barbershop quartet.

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    • fap * *. * * fap * *. * * fap **

What are we talking about?

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If you feel compelled to snort a line of the “Devil’s dandruff” don’t use a rolled-up dollar bill; it may have corona germs. Stick with a straw instead.

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Finally, some actual useful advice. Godspeed good sir/madam.

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