Per the list i linked to God was totes against uggos. Hopefully he gave him a hot wife. Also yay for women as trophies, amirite?
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Yes, when mine were little, I had a no skewers near the treehouse pointed end up policy that was strictly enforced. That’s how and where we stored the pitchforks.
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It’s pretty rare for women in the Bible to be assessed for anything other than quantity.
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You say all this as if God didn’t design the human head 6000 years ago with this kid’s accident in mind. He made it skewer proof on purpose.
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I think the family was low-key looking to get rid of the kid. Is this kid living in a dark comedy like Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events?
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Touché!
I never said it wasn’t a miracle, I was suggesting that this kind of miracle could be easily replicated and monetized
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“So… Do you want me to pull it out fast, or slow?”
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God, speaking about all the people who fell and did have their brains skewered by various objects: “Fuck those dudes.”
With that kind of luck, he’ll get hit by a truck after doing so. On the plus side, it’ll be a winning ticket for twenty bucks.
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You seem kinda determined to see this in a totally negative light, yo.
O_o
Yes, getting attacked by a swarm of wasps sucks, and could very possibly be lethal.
Yes, falling face first onto a skewer sounds utterly horrific, and is usually lethal.
Surviving both terrible scenarios simultaneously, with just some minimal scarring and psychological damage is the best possible outcome; and one that is statistically highly unlikely.
I’m sure the kid’s mom probably thinks he’s damn lucky; and she’s counting her blessings.
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I mean, I’m just saying: I’ve never been attacked by a swarm of wasps, fallen out of a tree or been accidentally stabbed through (any part of my body) with a metal skewer. Having all three happen sounds pretty damned unlucky to me. (And as Battalion above points out, having the metal skewer not penetrate the brain isn’t all that unusual, so avoiding the worst possible injuries wasn’t all that lucky. I’ve also read about a number of swordsmen, construction workers and car accident victims who got skewered through the head with swords/rebar/poles and survived - even when it penetrated the brain.) Whatever kind of “luck” I’m apparently currently having, I’d like to stick to that, thanks.
We’ll have to wait until he’s an adult to find out if he avoided psychological scarring here - he might very well end up with a lifelong fear of hymenoptera, trees and/or kebabs. Or it might be less obvious than that - perhaps this trauma will be fetishized and he’ll find he can’t achieve sexual fulfillment without being in a tree with a partner in a bee costume, etc. We just don’t know yet. His life could become very… awkward as a result of this.
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Indeed; most people would be dead or seriously fucked up, for the rest of their lives.
(And you’re correct; personally, I would never want to experience any one of these calamities.)
Having those things happen is unlucky; but surviving, depending upon the quality of life he leads from here on out, is still remarkable.
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Okay I just got here, did we work out if god is the yellowjackets, the skewer, the physics, or the outcome?
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My first thought on reading the headline was that the yellowjackets had started using tools - in which case I would be very careful around the nest in my front yard.
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In the movies you always push the impaling item through the wound. So that’s what I recommend.
He’s just in the details…
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Hey, wasps are mostly very nice.
I can (and do!) handle huge wasps with my bare hands - hornets, cicada killers, &etc. and although they could sting me they just really don’t want to.
But yellowjackets? Yeah, those little monsters would totally shove a skewer through your head, and laugh about it afterwards. I’m convinced they arranged for this whole thing!
Yellowjackets are like the tasmanian wolverines of North American wasps, they aren’t typical of the whole.
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You just brought a skewer to a rod fight.
When he said it was a miracle, they forgot mention that he was shaking a fist while glaring at the heavens. And he had a false mustache.
“You won this time, but I’ll get you next time, God!”
As for what kind of luck it was, I guess it depends on kind of person you are; head half-empty of metal, or head half-full.
God is all of the above.
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Yet if I stabbed a kid in the face without doing any major permanent damage, I’d go to jail and be hated by the family forever! And I’m not even omniscient and omnipotent. It would actually be really hard for me to do it correctly! Ingrates.
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Nope, nor to any of the rest of the USA. Perhaps that’s why I don’t understand.
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