Brexit wins: Britain votes to exit the European Union

Tingle was a national treasure. Now, I feel it’s safe to say, he belongs to the world.


Wales, despite receiving huge EU investment and ‘suffering’ minimal immigration, voted overwhelmingly to leave, thus shooting itself in the foot, leg, torso and head. You might need to rethink your opinion.


I agree with you entirely, apart from your view on Gove - I think he will do/say anything to get closer to the #2 spot (he’s Wormtongue, not Theoden). He comes from the same journalistic stock as Johnson, and his politics are reductio ad absurdam (‘We’re fed up of hearing from experts’).


He’s definitely on my ‘people who could be usefully on fire’ list, like.


Well, that and the complex flavor of vanilla and elderberry.

OMG… the review…


Wrong universe. We seem to be playing out Boris Gudunov (is Boris gudunov to run the country*?). Gove seems more like Shuisky and Farage, Pretender Dmitri. And Boris seems already to be haunted as the implications of his political assassination sink in.

*sorry for the awful pun.

In front of the KremlinConservative HQ. Crowd of Brexiters. A boyar enters with a whip.
Boyar: On your knees, dogs, and shout louder! Shout for Prince Boris to agree to be Tsar! He is having difficulty making his mind up.
First Brexiter: What’s all this about?
Second Brexiter: Blowed if I know. Where’s Prince Nigel?
A Special Adviser enters.
SPAD: Weep, O ye people! Prince Boris is having second thoughts.

Scene 2: A crowd is sitting in a television studio. Enter A Creep (Prince Michael Goveski)
Goveski: Give us a big hurrah for Boris!
Crowd: Poles out! Pakis out! Bring back the inch (etc.)
Goveski: Prince Boris has consented to be Tsar!
Crowd: Mumurs; “Where’s Nigel?” "When do we get to start hitting single mothers?"
Enter Boris.
Boris: Ahem! Good people! I have an important announcement! I have agreed to be Tsar. Free drink for everybody. Sorry about the feast, we have a bit of a cashflow shortage, ha ha.

Scene 3: In the Kremlin No. 10 Downing Street. Noises off of a crowd demanding bread.
Boris: The proles are revolting, Goveski.
Goveski: We’ve banned every paper except the Sun and shut down the last of the BBC, it won’t be a problem.
Boris: No, I mean they don’t look very attractive. Could you stop that Teresa May coming? I don’t like the way her shoes look at me.
Goveski: No problem, let’s just give my wife a peerage and make her Home Secretary.
Boris: Wizard wheeze, Goveski. Auri sacra fames and all that. But it’s a bit chilly in here.
Servant enters on knees.
Servant: O Prince Goveski! There are people without who wish to speak to the Tsar.
Goveski: Don’t let them in.
Servant: They have an army,.
Enter Merkel, Kerry, Trudeau and Hollande.
Merkel: OK, Boris, you’ve had your fun.
Kerry: Now we need to protect our investments.
Boris: Whatever you say guys. Just so long as the Telegraph keeps paying me in dollars, I’m happy.


It’s official. Britain has forfeited its right to make fun of American stupidity.


Nah. There’s enough to go around on both sides. Forever.


Weirdly all the farming bits of Wales that receive subsidies from the EU voted Leave?


They’ll be fine. Obviously the Tories will divert EU money their way, not use it for tax breaks for billionaires.

Free rainbow pooping unicorns for everyone!


Hahaha so true


Mines way funnier but keep trying, it’s cute!

I pulled out an HP-1337 Amusementometer and ran with both as inputs (context-aware mode was on). Yours hit .02. My reply hit 3.4. Science proves you’re wrong.


Now that was funny!


You find that video “funny”? Huh. I hadn’t gathered earlier that you’re what, ten years old? Maybe eleven?


There are not many farmers. The NFU were in despair today, worried about export markets and fertiliser costs.
In many rural areas, retirees greatly outnumber farmers, and many of the farm workers are Polish, Portuguese etc. and didn’t have a vote.

Nothing to be sorry about kind of what makes it funny. Cause of how unfunny ‘some’ people would think it is, even though he clearly nails the sentiment of many on the left.