See, I read it as “we are acknowledging that this is bad. This is going to be really, really bad. Prepare for famine and suck the likes of which haven’t been seen since the '70s or possibly even the '40s. Seriously. Prepare for a really, really bad economic bust NOW. Start stocking up on food. Start getting your affairs in order. If you have relatives in the colonies, perhaps a vacation is in order” which they can’t officially say.
I’m not sure if they can just not do it at this point; and I think they are starting to really realize how bad this is going to be for them and are trying to message that out without causing a panic.
(Note: I am not Brittish, so if I got the dates of the economic troubles wrong, please forgive me.)
He almost danced to the fridge, found the three least hairy things in it, put them on a plate and watched them intently for two minutes. Since they made no attempt to move within that time he called them breakfast and ate them. Between them they killed a virulent space disease he’d picked up without knowing it in the Flargathon Gas Swamps a few days earlier, which otherwise would have killed off half the population of the Western Hemisphere, blinded the other half, and driven everyone else psychotic and sterile, so the Earth was lucky there.
Some years (decades?) ago they started putting “keep refrigerated” on jam. I tried that, and as I got near the bottom of the jar, i noticed it was fermenting. The reason is, every time you open the cold jar there is condensation on the jam, diluting the acidity and sugar concentration. I went back to keeping jam in the cupboard.
I assure you this is a fabricated false flag operation she had mi6 plant the mould there themselves then she’s going blame someone else for planting the mould while claiming credit for saving the jam and using it as a pretext for an invasion.
Well this is the thing. I remember seeing David Mitchell joke about cheese that says, “Aged 10 years” right next to “Consume with 7 days”. It’s jarring to see those things next to one another, but they are hardly contradictory. Canned fruit will last a very long time on the shelf if you don’t open the can. Open the can and set it out at room temperature for a few days and it’ll be a cesspool of bacteria.
And there you have it! (Though I have an intuitive sense that inhaled mould is going to be more dangerous to your brain than swallowed mould)
I came here to make a joke. I have to take my hat off to you for making a far better one.
The first thing that struck me is that it could be a metaphor for the country. Just scrape the obstructionist conservatives off the top and toss them in the wastebin.
Unfortunately, just like the mouldy jam, the obstructionist conservatives are just the most visible part of a much deeper problem that’s taken root top to bottom. Brexit is toxic.
This is performance art now. She’s not really doing this, but it sounds good to the masses, a way of these idiots acting like a plucky spirit in the face of adversity is all that’s needed. There is a push among the Brexiters to rebrand this whole thing as “another blitz” and tell folks to chin up, put your boots on, scrape the mold off your preserves, dig a shelter in the back yard, etc, etc. And they are trying to paint the EU as the enemy that’s causing all this misery, not the idiot home politicians who convinced folks to vote for this folly by promising it was going to be easy as pie, and now can’t figure out how to do it without causing massive pain and suffering.
Theresa May and the UK: not only a terrible band name, but the worst negotiators since someone named Trump tried to shut down his government to get a deal on a wall and ended up with LESS than he was offered a year ago.
Oh, I knew it would be. I’m glad you got to it before someone replied with a wall of text explaining UK politics (in which I’m only a “tourist”), and how I’m WRONG.
If there’s one thing to be understood in any country, there is a faction that always seeks to maintain power at any cost, and that rule of thumb has held up pretty well.
Political jokes aside, there is no shame in this. She had a Grandmother and/or mother live through the great depression, and those people know how to not waste anything.
It seems like there’s an opportunity here to honor May by creating a shorthand term that means “the scrapings of mould removed from the surface of tainted preserves” in the same way that the term “santorum” was conceived.
