Bulletproof children's hoodie comes in small

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/01/06/bulletproof-childrens-hoodie.html


Bulletproof children’s hoodie comes in small

The saddest six-word story since “For sale: baby shoes, never worn”


I’m not sure you can craft a front-zip hoodie to provide proper protection from gunfire. Also, NIJ-IIIa protects from handgun rounds, but not rifle rounds.

I hate that people have to feel this very reasonable terror, and I hate that companies like this roll up to (presumably) exploit it.


How much does the damned thing weigh?

After years of getting used to wearing it, if bullied at school, the kid can do the classic “drop the weights” trope.

(So awful in English dub.)


It does seem doubly damning that one can both object to circumstances where selling bulletproof schoolgear is a thing and reasonably object that NIJ-IIIA is questionably adequate for the target market.

One can quibble all day about whether the AR-15 has enough selective fire to be an ‘assault rifle’; but it certainly hits like one for the purposes of making handgun-spec equipment a bit problematic; and it’s very popular.


So the child who wears that hoodie won’t die from the entry and exit wound they receive, but from impact of the bullet causing internal bleeding, organ swelling, shattered bones… etc. For $450 you will get to identify your child’s body after a school shooting with less visual horror than the other parents. Quite the investment.


I’m not sure, but that might be my full dose of 80s nostalgia for the month… Good stuff, tho.


Wait, this isn’t being offered by the BoingBoing Shop?


Ironically the kind of school where you are most likely to be shot up is also where hoodies are banned.


The fact that this thing even exists, says horrible things about America and guns.


The fact that I’ve seen multiple competing versions of the same or similar products says horrible things about people who profiteer off of gun violence in America.

ETA: Not including the NRA, who are 110% on the side of the gun manufacturers and just want to arm everybody regardless of the death toll.


Sad thing is that for just a moment I considered buying it.

The coat isn’t to keep your kid safe at school. It is to keep your kid safe while you get them to and from school and while they are in the community. Statistically speaking, if you get shot, there is a greater than 90% chance that you’ll get shot with a hand gun. After all, they are small, easy to conceal, and made for killing people. (Sorry, “self defense”.)

And this is why I hate the way that the discussion around gun violence in the United States is focused. We ignore the “non-newsworthy” murders that happen every day where someone kills someone else with a handgun; that happens 16,000 times a year. We focus on the mass murderer who uses a rifle which happens once or twice a year and results in 30 deaths per year.

And the sad thing is we could easily come up with solutions for every day gun violence that could reduce that toll with small changes and easy to implement and afford programs and save hundreds if not thousands of lives but instead we want to do heroic fixes that we can’t afford, will never happen, and could save upwards of five lives a year.

OK. Here. Here’s a free one. Want to save about 8,000 lives a year from gun violence? Stop treating drugs as a criminal issue and instead treat it as a public health issue. Decriminalize drugs and get enough beds to treat people with substance abuse issues. Make it so anyone who is addicted can go to a state pharmacy and get their drug of choice for cheap until they are ready to stop, so they don’t have to steal money for drugs, and so that drug dealer’s criminal enterprises dry up.

But see, not sexy enough. Doesn’t punish people. No one wants to do that, they want to hurt people.


“Bullet-proof vest with lifetime guarantee!”

So if you die (as, for example, from bullets), no more warranty, right?
So it would be in the best interest of the seller to not stop any bullets, right?

Not sure if this is the best line to promote that product…


That’s another thing I object to about this. Many types of ballistic armor degrade over time and need to be serviced or replaced. For instance, Kevlar degrades relatively quickly on its own, and especially quickly if exposed to UV light.

I guess what I really dislike about this is that it seems like they’re selling the illusion of safety.

A friend of mine bought some of those bulletproof backpacks, and was going to take one to the range and shoot it up (the others were for his daughters). Very curious if he did that, and what he found. Very skeptical that any of this kid armor is up to the job.


I seriously hate this reality.


Basically infinite boingboing articles just by mining the Alex Jones and Gwyneth Paltrow merch pages.

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This is sader. Babies don’t actually need shoes (so they could easily go unworn). American schoolchildren could actually make use of “bulletproof” hoodies, on the other hand, which is a tragedy by itself.

Well, it’s for the illusion of safety, anyways. Though I wonder if, like the “lockdown drills,” the real effect isn’t to just traumatize children for no actual safety benefit at all.


They claim NIJ-IIIA rating, which is a testing laboratory rating. They can’t really claim that unless they have gone through the testing. If their products don’t meet the rating that they claim, it would open them up to some massive lawsuits. If the product failed in the field (particularly with a child wearing it), the lawsuits would wipe them out.

Honestly, their pricing is about the same price as similar products, and about on par with more traditional soft vests. I considered buying one after the Vegas thing because I enjoy live music and I have to walk through a dark parking lot to get home after work. I don’t doubt that they are exactly what they say on the tin, although learning exactly what the words on the tin mean in this case is very important… (A NIJ-IIIA won’t stop a rifle round at short range.)

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