Burger King quickly abandons eugenics program in Russia, World Cup players disappointed

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/06/20/burger-king-quickly-abandons-e.html

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I cannot even imagine the mindset that led someone (or, I suppose, a whole committee) to think this was a good idea from either an ethical or marketing standpoint.

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Wait, what…? This wouldn’t make it out the door even in Idiot America. Has Putin introduced some douchebro drug into the drinking water supply in Russia that the execs imbibed? I’m not sure how else a normally risk-averse and politically correct American-based corporation would suddenly run a promotion that openly appeals to slavering macho eugenicist morons.

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Given the current political climate, it’s headlines like this that make me think I must be having a nightmare I can’t wake up from.

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What, no “just kidding, LOL” non-excuse?
They really don’t know how to play this.

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But but… Wouldn’t that mean that their fine white Russian genetic pool would be sullied by all sorts of (albeit football skilled) brown person genes? Isn’t that numero dos evil in Russia second only to the gay scourge?

(and no you can’t take “the gay scourge” as your band name, I call dibs!)

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hey, if someone got impregnated in those 5 days they can’t just rescind the offer like that! I’m hoping that’s a valid contract under Russian law.

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That’s one social media marketer that will never work again.

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Are you sure?
I hear that the White House is hiring.

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True dat. Maybe they could be the new press secretary.

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Indeed. Russian politicians are way ahead of you on this:

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Fucking Nazis are everywhere! They’ve like vermin and need to be erradi… of wait, nope, that’s not right.

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This controversial offer was probably an attempt at getting the company name some free publicity, and associating the brand with the World Cup without being a sponsor of the competition.

Being a stupid and offensive idea probably helps in getting publicity, so long as people aren’t put off entirely.

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Doesn’t matter got page-views.

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Succesful carriage and birth will have to be established and genetic and phenotypical tests will have to be performed, before this award goes into effect. Burger King also need to address the following in advance: Is the Good Soccer allele (GS1) for the Human Soccer Gene( hscr) (1) dominant , (2) intermediate, or (3) recessive? The answer to this should have consequences for the defenition ‘life-time supply of Whoppers’. I propose limiting the maximum amount of Whoppers available to the subject per day, in correspondence with the phenotype of GS1.

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It was probably intended in the opposite way people are assuming. I would guess it is a tongue in cheek jab at Russian dire warnings of “mixed-race babies” being conceived during the world cup:

No mixed-race babies, please: Russian lawmaker tells women to avoid sex with some World Cup visitors

“There will be girls who meet men, and then they will give birth,” said Pletnyova, according to a translation by the Independent newspaper. “Maybe they will get married, maybe they won’t. But the kids will suffer, just like they suffered [in 1980]," she said during the radio interview.

The lawmaker was responding to a question from the radio host who mentioned children born out of wedlock following the 1980 Olympic Games in Moscow, according to the Reuters news agency.

“It is one thing if the parents are of the same race; quite another if they are of different races,” Pletnyova responded. “We should give birth to our own children.”

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I hope they’re financially responsible for any children born.

Two words: Carl’s Jr.

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Q: How many Whoppers constitutes a “lifetime supply”?

A: One, if the Whopper is spiked with polonium.

Updates: made “polonium” lowercase; added link to Wikipedia.

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Even if that story is posted on several news sites, I’ll believe it when I see a serious debunking. Not before.