Cactus juicer


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I’d really like to be the kind of person who sits on the deck with a perfectly soft boiled egg in a bone china egg cup, my trusty eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher ready to hand, and a glass of orange juice fresh from my cactus juicer. I’d meditate on the day to come, nibbling at my egg and sipping my juice, thoughtfully perusing the Times while watching the sunrise.

Alas, I am more of a coffee and frozen waffle kind of guy, and I don’t think the cactus juicer would be very effective on Mrs. Faffenreffer’s Diet Coke.


Or, you could restrict your juicing activities to the living room.


So it doesn’t actually juice cacti?


I like it! :slight_smile:

This “retro” juicer is cool too but, far more expensive.



Okay, so I’m not the only one who expected to see some kind of industrial-grade Popiel machine, pulping a saguaro in the name of incredible health benefits via cactus juice.


It’s really named “smeg”? An odd choice.

ETA: Looked them up. The Italian government’s a mess, but gosh darn it, they do design really well.


It does sound better in Italian. Everything does.

“Smalterie Metallurgiche Emiliane Guastalla,” or the “Guastalla Emilia Enamel Works.”



Since politics are always on my mind these days, and with Trump recently stating that he lacks an organ, my mind immediately jumped to, “Would Trump’s speeches sound better in Italian?”

Then I realized they would because instead of just being baffled by them, I wouldn’t understand them at all.

Especially now that the cans are so skinny.




“Genitals: small and inoffensive.”


Sounds like you should buy a boat…


I’m not a fan of boats. They’re expensive and there’s all that…water.

I’m hoping for something more like a Netflix princess movie - one day a butler shows up at my door, informs me that I’m the last living heir of the tiny kingdom of Anhedonia, and whisks me away to a life of champagne and twinkling lights.

And cactus juicers.


Yes! I feel completely ripped off. I was gearing up for a peyote fest at my house.


Inheriting the kingdom of Anhedonia would be a very, very, grim princess movie. Possibly even grimmer than Grimm.

It’s a tiny kingdom; but if you inherit it it might as well span the earth, because you’ll carry it wherever you go and whatever you try. (If looking for a slightly more recent and less fantasy take, the phrase “empire upon which the sun never rises” may be substituted).


Anhedonia started out as a private joke with a friend of mine whose name is Joy,… I’m not sure what it says about me that it turned into the name of my fantasy kingdom. Nah, scratch that. I know exactly what it says about me.

I’m going to steal “the empire upon which the sun never rises.”


Reading this from my boat. Would not have room for a juicer here, and a porcelain egg cup would last about a day. Did have instant coffee and a hard boiled egg that I ate off a paper towel though… it is a good life of a lot of staring at sunrises/sunsets.


Have you ever tried to eat peyote? The stuff is incredibly retched and still you have to eat enough to throw up to get any fun from it.


Hence the need for a Cactus Juicer to put it into punch form with some fruit to make it more palatable.