In law school, my group was in a discussion about that statistic. The men in the group were incredulous. We women all looked at one another, and most of us (including me) slowly raised our hands. The men were speechless. Then they apologized. To their credit, none asked about the circumstances of the sexual abuse/assault.
It was a big learning moment for them. I hope it stayed with them for the rest of their lives.
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The way the sentence is communicated is kind of part of the sentence. If the judge mentions a factor in a sentencing report, then it is fair for all of us to assume that were it not for that factor the sentence would be different. If the judge wrote something positive about going to Stanford in the report then weâd assume the sentence was reduced for that reason. If the judge wrote something negative about the length of his hair then weâd assume the sentence would have been shorter were it not for that.
So when the judge says we should worry about a severe impact on him, the judge is saying that the crime warranted a longer sentence than he gave on its own merits, but that he considered sympathy for the rapist a valid reason to reduce it. Communication is the sentence.
Yeah, thatâs the problem. Harsh prison sentences are bullshit. But having comparatively light prison sentences for rape specifically isnât a âOh good, lighter prison sentencesâ moment, itâs an âOh shit, this society doesnât really care about rapeâ moment.
Before I pulled that stat out I did a little bit of research to see whether it was considered accurate or apocryphal. It seems like itâs been validate by numerous studies. The thing is: Women donât tell men about being sexually assaulted. And women especially donât tell the kind of men who doubt the extent of the problem with sexual assault about being sexually assaulted.
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Iâve used this argument very directly, by simply asking people who say, âWell if she hadnât dressed like that,â whether theyâve ever felt like raping a woman, adding: If the answer is yes, then please consider talking to a therapist. If the answer is no, then stop speaking on behalf of rapists.
Rape isnât some kind of logical extension of being turned on that you can extrapolate to from your own desires.
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That gif would be even more effective w/o the text (at the end).
The Stanford Daily published a letter titled âA case against Brock Turnerâs incarcerationâ.
Note: I donât think I saw this on thread above, but itâs an OpEd from May 26
Women arenât dismissed for their opinions, they are merely corrected for the wrong opinions via some quality mansplaining
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I believe that some of that victim-blaming bullshit is vestigial ugliness left from the witch hunts. Malleus Malificarum, the witch hunting manual, which depending on who you talk to, was incredibly influential in promulgating the myths that women are weak-willed, more âlustfulâ than men, and the stewards of male purity by virtue of having the responsibility not to temp them into lustful thoughts and actions. This was demonstrated and proven, they claim, when Eve allowed the serpent to tempt her into eating the forbidden fruit, and then herself tempted Adam to partake as well. I wonder how many woman have been killed, raped, and sentenced to lives of silent horror and servitude throughout history because of just that one story. Those beliefs still survive on some level in modern Christianity, and very strongly and openly in the LDS church. LDS teaches young girls that if men commit adultery/rape/incest/etc, it is because they were tempted to do so by the woman. This is what is meant by âmodestyâ in Abrahamic religions. Yuck.
I havenât seen this either:
Edited to add, in case it wasnât obvious, but WTF is wrong with these people?!?!?
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I sort of see where the fallacy of victim blaming holds water for some ignorant people. That a woman should know better than to go out and get drunk, or dress a certain way, or to go out on a date with a man and âlead him onâ. In some way yes, maybe a woman should avoid being in a situation where she might be in danger. Except that theyâd be asking all women to just stop living their lives, that they should regulate themselves by minimizing their role in the world and to blend into the background and being more unseen. Which is a monstrous thing to suggest.
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Itâs increasingly looking like that would mean just skipping college altogether. Did you see the letter the little rapist prickâs father sent to the sentencing judge? He had the fucking audacity to say that Brock the Rapist would be traveling and speaking out about the âdangers of alcohol and sexual promiscuityâ? I have no words.
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2016/06/05/3784913/stanford-sexual-assault-dad-letter/
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To the extent that a person says, âDonât leave your laptop in the back seat of your car in plain viewâ you could give advice to people like, âDonât become intoxicated alone or around people you donât trust; Make sure a friend knows where you are when you go out.â Thatâs good advice for men and women (though a man who becomes black out drunk in public is more likely to be robbed than raped).
But if the problem was inappropriate dress, then why the hell do elderly women (and men) in care homes get raped? Rapists donât target women in skimpy dresses, they target women who are vulnerable, women who are unlikely to report them, women who wonât be believed. That means addicts, intoxicated women, sex workers, homeless women, elderly women. For a powerful man like Bill Cosby, that same thinking meant he could target nearly anyone.
So to the extent that our society forgives rape if the target is wearing skimpy clothing rapists will target women who are dressed that way. But itâs not because the way the woman is dress provokes a response from the rapist, it is because the rapist thinks they can get away with it. Itâs not a womanâs fault for dressing that way, itâs our collective fault for forgiving the rape of women dressed that way, and thus creating yet another category of women who will not be believed for rapists to target.
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Iâve gleamed snippets of it from the forum here and some headlines elsewhere. I canât bring myself to read much of it because it would sour my day, but i can get the gist of it with the 20 minutes of action line alone and i just donât have appropriate words for how ignorant the father is. I can try but iâd be preaching to the choir here.
I do get that the father is trying to do his best to be there for his son and protect him from public ire. But excusing rape is not the way to gain public acceptance (iâm not surprised though).
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I think itâs sensible advice to drink responsibly, but i think people are still in the right to live their life and enjoy a good night. Maybe a given person does get drunk because they had a shitty week, or they are celebrating⌠regardless of sex i would be all for someone partying. So some saying/implying that itâs a womanâs fault for drinking that she got assaulted is saying that women canât be trusted to have a night out⌠but men are? And they can prey on women while having a fun night?
And yeah, the clothing thing is something else. As a guy i donât experience the creepy shit guys say (directed at me), but i have been around some guys that have made comments about women while they leer at them and its never sat well with me even if i did find the person attractive. Maybe thereâs something âwrongâ with me as a man but iâve never understood the behavior and the need to be sexually aggressive toward women. The worst iâve seen was a much much older man stare at a coworker at an event while standing a few feet away from her, in plain view of her, licking his lips and making comments about her to a store employee who also leered at her. Iâve never felt so violently sickened.
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You really should read that letter. I believe, aside from the victims statement, it is one of the most important and discussion-worthy bit of information in the whole case. It impeccably portrays the âboys will be boysâ attitude towards rape on college campuses (especially if drugs and alcohol are involved), displays the complete lack of acknowledgement that there was a VICTIM involved in this crime whoâs life is irrevocably damaged in a way that canât be quantified now or ever. She doesnât get a _____ month sentence, she gets a life sentence. Dad and Brock wonât seem to acknowledge the ramifications of the crime he committed, and to me, there is no better reason to throw the book at someone.
Brockâs father: â(Brock) is totally committed to educating other college-age students about the dangers of alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity. By having people like Brock educate others on college campuses is how society can begin to break the cycle of binge drinking and its unfortunate resultsâ.
Does that sound like someone taking responsibility? Or does that sound like someone blaming the victim?
Hmmm. I wonder what Brock has to say. Letâs check his Brock for Olympics 2016 FaceBook page:
Edit: OK, that FaceBook page HAS to be satire. There is no way anyone is that stupid. He is posting the most offensive shit imaginable.
Another edit: So it looks to me that FaceBook page is likely not actually run by Brock Turner or his family. But it also doesnât look like satire. It looks like itâs run by a Trump-supporter caliber genuine rape apologist.
Last edit: Iâm just going to assume I am a bumpkin and got mega-trolled. Iâm going to smother my two cats with chin beard snuggles and go to sleep. This whole situation makes me so sad for this girl, and for past/future victims watching from the sidelines.
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And this is the other part of why blaming the woman is disgusting. Not only are you saying men canât control themselves, but youâre insinuating a womanâs place is⌠other. Subtle, or not so subtle, implication that a womanâs place is in the kitchen.
âŚdisgusting outmoded bullshit.
Edit:
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An old ex-girlfriend used to be called âchestyâ behind her back by all her male coworkers, including management. This, to me, is where normal non-pig men have to step it up. We can help change the norms, let other men behaving like that in our presence know that it is NOT fucking cool to act that way.
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My wife went to BYU, they love to protect rapists but kick out the victims for âbreaking the honor codeâ.
Mormon values in a nutshell.
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Yeah, itâs not worth discussing as connected to the other monsters.
Chris Rock rocks.
I didnât go into detail about what happened. I was hanging out at a beer outlet I frequented regularly back then, and I met with a woman who was quite drunk, and a bit lost. She was from out of town, and had left the friends she came to visit.
I bought her a juice in order to get her a bit less drowsy, and I accompanied her to her friendsâ home, the address of which she was fortunately sober enough to remember. It was quite a walk, as the last buses and tramways were long gone, but it wasnât a big detour for me on my way home (save for the fact that she didnât walk quite straight), I was bound to walk anyway, and at least I had company for part of the trip.
I havenât been exactly told âThanks for not raping herâ, but when her friends thanked me for walking her home they heavily implied they found it amazing that I didnât try to molest her - which I am not yet cynical enough not to find disturbing.
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My exact thought as well. I appreciate that someone took the time to make it but Iâm perplexed that they apparently felt it didnât already speak for itself.
