Catholic bishop plans to dump holy water from plane to exorcise city's demons

Can i send him thoughts and prayers? What’s the postage on those?

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Could we get him to change that to H2S and bless the White House instead?

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Nice reference! The original quote this comes from is more grounded in reality, though.

Sorry, but that’s GOP/NRA controlled territory. :bomb:

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You’re going in the band name thread, so you are.

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If he were a martyr he’d eject his own seat for their sins

Is all holy water equal? Meaning, if the Pope makes holy water, is that like 10x as holy as some common priest? Also, how do you measure holiness?

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I need to keep my Spanish from deteriorating further, so here comes a full translation:

Headline: Bishop will throw holy water on Buenaventura to “end the evil.”

Subtitle: From a Navy helicopter, the bishop will give a special blessing to the port city.

Body: For the fiesta de San Beunaventura, which will be celebrated in the second week of July, the Catholic Church has prepared an uncommon act, in which it seeks to perform an “exorcism of the city.”

Monsignor Rubén Darío Jaramillo Montoya, bishop of Buenaventura, said that from a Navy helicopter he will pour holy water over the city to bless it and end the evils that afflict it.

“It will be a great public demonstration of the entire community, where we are going to pour holy water to see if such evil ends and the devil leaves this place,” expressed the bishop.

In Buenaventura, according to a report from authorities, they have counted 51 murders in the course of this year, 20 cases more than in the same period of 2018.

One of the most recent cases was the homicide of a ten year old, which has drawn the condemnation of the community.

At the moment, Bishop Jaramillo is coordinating his efforts with the Navy and city hall with the goal of getting an aircraft for the 13th or 14th of July, during the celebration of the fiesta de San Buenaventura, the patron saint of the city.

“On those days, the Navy’s helicopters are not available, but we are preparing to bless the city,” specified the Monsignor.

The extortion of shopkeepers is another crime that has increased in the port of Buenaventura.

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This may be good.
Please exorcise the fields in California and the Mid-West during the hot summer months, as they are clearly infected with “Gay” when it dries up. They really need your water, I mean your blessings.

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H2SO4, please.

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Don’t drop the bottle.

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So the Navy flies planes to get more water in the air. The Air Force must be bubbling on the same bong as the Bishop.

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By rights, he should dump it on himself, or take a bath in it for all the children’s lives they have destroyed.

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Contrails are real. Believe.

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For peak freshness, it’s recommended to go to church once or twice a week, but some people push their luck by waiting an entire year.

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Well…if the power of Christ compels him…

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As you leave the church, be sure to get your hand stamped with the “blessed before” date.

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Does that mean I can get back in without having to pay again?

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Throw the holy water in the murder’s faces, maybe it’ll give them a staph infection!

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Don’t forget, kids ride free.

(That one never gets old. :wink:)

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