Powerful Russian Orthodox cleric summoned to spritz computers with holy water to fight ransomware


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/17/prophylactic-bricking.html


I hope they are using that new non-conductive holy water.



Not that it makes it significantly less crazy, but the picture is from a common spray-everything-with-water-on-the-first-day Orthodox ceremony from the opening of the Internal Ministry’s new Traffic Control Centre in 2013, rather than in response to WannaCry.

AFAIK, it’s even not uncommon for local Churches to offer such wet blessings for new houses and the like. Doing it to fix technological problems would be weird, however.





Some viruses respond better to large quantities of highly-conductive water.


This Warhammer 30K larp has gotten out of hand


What a n00b. You should always use non-conductive oil of chrism to bless electrical equipment.


Yep, I’m sure that’ll help.


What are the other cities listed next to the clocks? All I can make out is Moscow on the top.


Data Centre Manager: Oh, hey, someone’s coming in today to beef up security on our servers. Major guy.

Sysop: Great, I can use some extra help, what with the ransomware. What’ll he be doing?

Manager: He’ll be spraying special water on the machines.

Sysop: Wait, what?! This is electronic equipment!

Manager: Don’t worry, he also dresses up in elaborate robes. And a hat! And he chants to an invisible man. What more could you ask for? Ivan? Are you listening?

Sysop: [death rattle from hanging himself by a length of Ethernet cable]


While he’s doing that, I’ll go debug his theology.


You are missing the rest of the story. After the blessing all the encrypted files decrypted themselves and the ransomware was removed! It’s true!


I had a fundamentalist Evangelical roommate that would rub holy oil all over the house, which stained the underlying wood. She was upset when I said: “If you have to do that, please don’t put it on wood”.


The resistance of deionized water is approximately 18.2MΩ.

If the boards are perfectly clean, you can dunk the whole thing into a bucket of deionized water and nothing bad will happen, but that’s a big if.



Cyberpunk twist:

Ransomware infects powerful Russian Orthodox cleric. Where is your God now?



No TechnoPope? I am disappoint.