Originally published at: Charlie Kirk says he is afraid of his kitchen condiments | Boing Boing
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It doesn’t take much to frighten these self-declared “alpha males”, does it?
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When you have to do a regular show where you complain about all kinds of evil bogeymen, pretty soon you start to run out of the obvious bogeymen. Then it’s imagination to the rescue.
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the only things allowed in his kitchen would be wonder bread and miracle whip.
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So fragile, like a used sheet of toilet paper floating in the wind
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Better hide under that box o’ bibles in the basement ‘gentleman’ Kirk! Because all the items surrounding you involved someone who is clearly aware of historical social injustice (“uh-oh! gospel jebuz certainly espoused an understanding of social injustice! [one source were it necessary]”)
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Mrs. Butterworth may have an outwardly matronly appearance but I hear she is secretly organizing a feminist/LGBTQ+ activist movement with the Honey Bear.
Meanwhile in the baking goods the yeast packets are still screaming about how the white bread shall rise again.
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Nobody tell him about Woke Dust.
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“Is this ketchup bottle woke? Is this mustard?” I mean, literally
So I guess he’s actually afraid his condiment bottles have come to life. At least it’s more justifiable than being afraid of social justice.
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Thin-skinned, easily-offended snowflakes, each and every one of them, screaming for a safe space where nobody ever challenges them or says words they don’t like.
As always, the right-wingers are projecting like a whole city of IMAXes.
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As long as it’s white bread he’s fine with that. If it were brown bread that would obviously be the worst thing in the history of the world! \s
Perhaps Charlie Kirk’s future descendant can travel back in time and smack some sense into him.
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Sentient mustard will rule the world.
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“I’m going through my refrigerator and I’m starting to ask the question: Was this ketchup bottle woke? Is this mustard? I mean, literally.”
“These condiments would be better off in separate but equal containers!”
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Refrigeration miscegenation!
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No taste mixing!
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Huh, it’s almost like he’s never before attempted to consider his values in context of how his spending supports certain companies and ultimately shapes the world.
I mean, silly me, when I have the option, I make sure not to buy stuff produced by companies that harm their workers, practice factory farming, or otherwise poison the earth, but I guess protesting tolerance is as good an entry point as any.
/S
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