Christian assault rifles now available

When they start selling their products in Germany, they won’t have to waste time with translations or new designs. There are plenty of items that say “GOTT MIT UNS” they can find in American antique shops.

https://www.google.com/search?q=gott+mit+uns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CIgBEIkeahUKEwjt4bSHgOjHAhWKCpIKHUV0BZE&biw=1280&bih=927

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b…b…bb…bb…but there’s no such thing as an “assault rifle”!!!1!1!eleven!!!

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I was looking for the cooking-bacon-with-a-machine-gun video, but found this instead.


[quote=“Nagurski, post:13, topic:65271, full:true”]or with the third setting you could just kind of point it at things and God would decide whether or not to shoot.[/quote]I suddenly recall the opening of Endymion by Dan Simmons, which posits an execution device that will only operate when a random number generator produces a particular result. (Futurama used a similar concept in one episode, and it’s probably come up elsewhere too.)

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I don’t get it? Is the fact that it has a bible verse inscribed supposed to make it kryptonite for Muslims?

I suppose they should get bonus points for cherry-picking only verse 1, and leaving off the next verse, and the rest of the sentence. And wouldn’t Psalm 18:2 have been a better choice?

“Blessed be the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.”

I say that very phrase just before I slug some whiskey.

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Kicking myself for not thinking of this one. What a perfect way to take money from suckers.

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Spreading the Holey Scripture with Jesus Bullets!

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Do these come inscribed with Matthew 5:44 too? Or Roman 12:17? Or 2 Corinthians 10:4? Luke 23:34? Ephesians 4:32?
Or indeed with the 10 commandments? The whole swords to ploughshares thing?

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That’s not a Christian gun. THIS is a Christian gun! A hundred kilos or so in weight, with machine guns in front, a rocket launcher in back, and pistol storage inside the side arms.

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I remember an episode of the A-Team where Hannibal used a cane gun…

EDIT AH-HA! http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Cane_gun

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These guys should join forces with the pigs blood cemetery folks and form the magical anti-muslim defense force.

do some people genuinely think muslims are magic, like vampires? with pigs in place of garlic, and the bible in place of. . . the bible, I guess?

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Technically any gun outfitted with an acog sight is already carrying a “Christian” assault rifle. not sure if they ever changed it though.

Sweet piece of gear! And with inertial recoil attenuation. Too bad it requires a powered exoskeleton to carry.

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How about Ps 137:9?

Happy is the one who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks.

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What a load of malarkey that the guy made this so that Radical Islamists couldn’t use it.

He made it because he wanted to get rich, and was paying attention on how everyone else did it: Take something that appeals to a demographic, and slap something else on it that also appeals to that demographic.

That is why zombie branded shooting supplies are selling like hotcakes, even though they often are of poorer quality than more vanilla offerings.

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Product + branding, marketing 101.

There are an awful lot of people out there who are cynicism deficient which is why it works so well. Surely someone who writes Bible verses on a gun must be a good Christian?

This is the answer to the problems of the Middle East; swamp it with these things and they’ll all get hernias trying to pick them up and swagger around with them.

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Strict constructionism; a gun is not a sword. And once you’ve killed them you don’t need to forgive your enemies because they aren’t your enemies any more.
Get out clauses. The guy who invented “Kill them all, God will sort out his own” was a Roman Catholic bishop (Arnaud of Citeaux, I think) who had the Cathar citizens of Béziers killed without mercy including small children. As Ekklesiastes doesn’t quite say, of the making of Christian hypocrisy there is no end.

What’s even stupider is that psalms is one of the books of the old testament that the Qur’an specifically calls out as being the word of god. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zabur

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Wouldn’t work that well. They’d just weld a gun mount to the back of a Toyota and have a sweet technical.

Welding is an important skill to have.

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Good thinking.
Years ago I got involved in a bit of a skunkworks project to make lightweight gun turrets suitable for small trucks, I was working on the electronics for the sight. The idea was to operate the gun from the passenger seat, so you wouldn’t need an exposed gunner.
It was too expensive, because we hadn’t reckoned with the fact that where you have mad jihadis, truck gunners are a disposable and very easily renewable resource.

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