Not really. Most true Satanists aren’t actually worshipping any supernatural immortal deity; the idea of Satanists as virgin-sacrificing blood-drinking baby-eating goat-fucking cultists is largely a creation of Jack Chick, heavy metal album cover artists, and Italian filmmakers from the 1970s. Anyone with an Anton LaVey book on their shelf will be happy to bore you at length on the finer points of this distinction.
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Sad day when cracker stealing, beastiality admitting satanists have the most common sense.
“Seriously, it’s not worth losing some $ over a not-so-magic magic disc of carbohydrates…”
And can these things not be de-consecrated remotely? And is this whole thing the most batshit crazy thing that anyone has heard of? I guess they’re really not fighting over a cracker as much as what it represents (but it really is only a cracker…). Maybe you have to be raised catholic for this to make sense.
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Yeah, you think it’s funny, until after 3 days it starts walking around and heralds in the end of time. Good going there Mr. Artiste!
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Wow, I’d actually describe myself as an Agnostic Pagan(*), but I couldn’t make it past 15 seconds of that.
(* Closer to atheist, but willing to grant the possibility of some supernatural deity-like thing. If others want to call it ‘god,’ then that’s up to them. I do pagan ceremonies when I need the emotional comfort one gets from rituals, but I subscribe no actual supernatural aspect to them.)
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Brilliant!
The Church just needs to set up a DRM† server so that no consecrated crackers can be used without being online and approved!
† DRM = Deity Rights Management™
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Upon doing so they will smile creepily and say, “Go ahead. Take communion. I dare you.”
And, even having done nothing else, they will have won.
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Actually, that’s a pretty good point. A transubstatiated host is, according to the catholics, the flesh of Christ. If they sell those, how doesn’t that fall afoul of the laws prohibiting commerce of human parts?
Transubstantiated hosts cannot be sold or otherwised distributed except through communion. As a precaution only the wafers and wine that is part of the mass is blessed.
This from my days as an altar boy. Fnord.
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I was actually not being sarcastic with that one (weird huh?).
What I meant was that is there something where a priest actually has to touch said cracker personally or with some sort of magic tool to consecrate/deconsecrate these things. If it’s just a guy saying some words of blessing over a whole box of these things, distance really shouldn’t be an issue.
And on the whole “consecrated = body of Jesus” thing, obviously symbolic only right? Or is there some sort of literal “actual flesh/body” sort of magic transformation thing going on. If it’s not a literal conversion into Jesus flesh, then who cares if Satanists want to piss etc… on it. This brand of Satanist is going to be a symbolic dick anyways, whether or not they have a magic cracker. If it is literal Jesus meat, then why not take a sample and work on cloning Jesus?
Just spent an interesting few minutes trawling through Catholic minutiae, the General Instruction of the Roman Missal and some other stuff dealing with the mechanics of Catholic ritual.
As I understand it, (happy to be corrected by someone who’s actually religous) transubstantiation is a one-way process and a consecrated wafer remains sacred until it’s no longer a wafer. So you can’t remotely deactivate one. There’s a lot of rules about how to handle it, where to store it for transport* and how to dispose of extra Jesus if you make too much, but a remote or local desanctification isn’t an option.
*Pyx or GTFO.
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Ironically but predictably, the Cardinal and the Satanists are cut from the same cloth (wafer?): they believe the same things. Religion is evidence to the fact that people are capable of believing anything at all, but, in this case, they evidently both believe in Satan, otherwise this dispute would be all nonsense. Come to think of it, it is all nonsense.
Thanks for the clarification. Honestly, the whole “the cracker is Jesus!” things makes absolutely no sense to me, so trying to figure out the minutiae/logic of the rule set is kind of like trying to figure out the rules of the game that my 3 year old insists we play (and is winging it, making “rules” up as she sees fit).
So, once it’s Jesus, it’s always Jesus. Makes me a little curious about the Jesus disposal rules for any “extras”. Are you required to nail them to wooden crosses, then bury them in caves until they magically disappear? (sorry for the blasphemy true believers, but this is really what it sounds like to an outsider).
And if you can’t remotely do a “take back” on the whole “this carb disc is Jesus” thing, then methinks the Church should have a little talking to the priest in Turkey selling these things online/mail order.
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There is a special sink called the sacrarium that leads down into the ground instead of a sewer. It’s used to clean the chalice or anything else that has contained blessed wine, blessed oil, or holy water. If a host gets ruined, dropped on the ground or spit out by a sick/older person, then the priest dissolves it in holy water and pours it down the sacrarium.
This is a popular question with Catholic school kids.
There are also little special carrying cases for nuns or Eucharistic ministers to take the host to retirement homes and hospitals and such for people who can’t make it to mass. Other than that, blessed hosts are not supposed to leave the tabernacle.
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Homeopathic Jesus!
Anyway, eventually you’ll digest and, er, excrete the host. Is it still Jesus?
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That is awesome to know, and thanks for putting up with my irreverent attitude and probably somewhat childish questions. Again, this seems so strange to someone not raised/indoctrinated into this particular system.
So essentially, anything sacred but not consumed gets buried. I guess that kind of makes sense, and the sacrarium just makes it more convenient rather than having a rotting bucket of holy bits that needs to be buried periodically.
It’s a cunning way of making sure everyone gets a bit of holy in 'em. And the fusion of homeopathy and transubstantiation has a side-effect of causing conniptions in commenters.
Again, happy to be corrected as I’m only an observer , but it only remains Jesus for as long as it remains wafer.
Which from a culinary point of view, makes sense. I mean, a meat pie isn’t a still a meat pie after you’ve eaten it and you can’t make a meat pie by swallowing a load of flour, lard and assorted prime HLA and jumping up and down.
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[citation-needed]
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Not exactly.
The theistic Satanists belive that their god has been slandered and wrongly accused by Christians for the last 2000 years. That’s hard to forgive.
The LaVey Satanists don’t actually believe in any of it- They just believe that Christianity is evil, and enjoy using theatrics to fuck with them.
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I was just joking, I really don’t believe in football either.
Oh, I haven’t believed since I was about ten, and I found Catholic school truly, truly torturous. I was beyond ecstatic to escape into a magnet program when I hit high school.
But the mechanics are always fun to talk about, and Latin masses are actually really pretty. Choir was my favorite part, I used to know alot of the stuff in Latin.
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