Church cages Jesus, Mary, and Joseph to protest Trump's ICE immigrant abuse

benn

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Border Agent: So his first name is Hey-Zeus. How do you spell that?

Middle initial? What does “H” stand for? Could you spell that?

Last name? Spelling?

Look Lady, if you don’t want us to lose your kid, tell us his real name and yours too. “The Virgin Mary” seems like a fake name.

Father’s name?

That’s not what I have. I’ve got Joseph T. Carpenter.
Oh, the husband’s not the Father. Got it.

What happened, did He Ghost on you? Okay, so eh, who’s the baby daddy?

Could you spell that? YHWH? No vowels? Is that some kind of Middle Eastern name? What do you mean you don’t know?

Look Lady, if this kid was born in [checks paperwork] Bethlehem, which is [checks Wikipedia] in PALESTINE, that sounds pretty goddammed Middle Eastern to me.

If the Baby Daddy’s Palestinian we need to know. We might have to deport Him. He might be a terrorist.

Does the Baby Daddy live in Palestine or does He reside in the United States?
He’s in the heart? You mean the heartland? Like Nebraska?

Mary, you are making this process very difficult. I don’t know what you are afraid of. If the Father entered the heartland legally there shouldn’t be any problem. I can’t believe that He would abandon His Son.

Now if you had gotten legally married to the Father you wouldn’t be having this problem. I’m just sayin.’

Okay, well that’s all I need. Now this nice lady agent is going to take little Hey Zeus H. Christ for a bath. Don’t worry He’ll return soon. I can’t tell you when. It’s not up to me. I don’t make the rules. I’m just following orders.

Tales From The Border: An Interview With An Asylum Seeker

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john-waters-gif

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Also should be posted in the John Waters thread!

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Wait. There’s a John Waters thread? What else have i missed? Is… Rob Ford dead?

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OMG! Do we need a thread!

But this one:

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This.
I was semi-raised in the Episcopal church when I was a kid because of my mom - though I was baptized Catholic, but my dad was not really interested in being part of the church. By and large, the folks from that particular denomination have been well ahead of quite a few of the others.
Though a friend of mine in the 80’s said that his Catholic priest got arrested at a no-nukes rally, which was nice.
I’ve otherwise had zero affiliation with any church/religion. I used to go with my mom on certain Sundays till my late teens, but to be honest, I stopped not only because it didn’t really mean anything to me, but also because I felt like a phony. I looked around at these very nice Episcopalians and was like - I have no reason to be here and act like I’m part of something with these kind folks, when I’m not.
I am guilty of lighting a candle for relatives in giant churches when I’ve been on vacation in Europe, tho. I figured they would like it.
I got nothing to explain my actions. :slight_smile:

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“Jesus, John and Elvis
Son of God, President and Pelvis
These are the big three … (if you ask me)”
—- Dick Seigel, Michigan folk singer

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I’ve done my confirmation as a catholic which is a big deal (i guess) but i don’t practice… on the odd blue moon my mom drags me to church i always decline taking the communion wafer because i also feel like it’d be disingenuous to do so. It doesn’t symbolize or mean anything to me

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In my book a religious person protesting against Trump in public beats a non-religious person ranting against Christians on the internet. I don’t need to share all of a person’s beliefs to recognize them as an ally and quite possibly a great human being.

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Haploid

Sorry bad genetics joke, I will see myself out.

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“Viral Bible”, metal-country band name (Album “You All Look Just Lack Jeezus Man”)

by the BB, damn good thread

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I actually just learned that! Someone sent me a link to the wikipage 'What does the H in Jesus H. Christ Stand for? My favorite reason was it is good rhythm for the emphasis for swearing.
Multiple authors emphasize the practice of placing a strong stress on the “H”, relating it in various ways to expletive infixation. Thus Quinion writes:

Its long survival must have a lot to do with its cadence, and the way that an especially strong stress can be placed on the H. You might also think of it as an example of emphatic infixing that loosely fits the models of words like abso-bloody-lutely or tribu-bloody-lation.[7]

Similar remarks were made by the linguist Dwight Bolinger, who mentions “Jesus H. Christ” in a discussion of the strategies used by English speakers to add additional stresses to “highly charged words” for purposes of emphasis.[8] Horberry suggests “The strong emphasis on the H somehow improves the rhythm of its host phrase.”[9] The Green’s Dictionary of Slang says “the H is redundant other than for rhythm”.[10]

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Baby Jesus Chainlink Fence - album name?

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Lemmy is god. I love you for this

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You mean, it’s not for Harold?

“Harold be thy name”…

 

Yeah yeah, I’ll see myself out…

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