Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/church-of-cypress-says-it-is-i.html
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Hey assholes the cups and your hands transmit it.
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Well, duh. What could be safer and more sanitary than drinking blood?
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Cyprus, or cypress? 
Me, I won’t go to a church that expects me to check my brain in at the door. If you want a sense of how a given congregation views Matthew 5, just look at how they treat LGBTQ+ individuals. It seems that the right-wing types consider such concepts as “love they neighbor, regardless” as optional.
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Does it count if the continued existence of religious bullshit makes me sick, but like metaphorically?
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Church: HOW DARE YOU, bring your science into a religious rite. We firmly believe we’re eating the actual body and blood of Christ.
So you’re like picky geocentrist cannibals that will only eat divine beings or something and you somehow don’t call yourself god eaters?
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That’s all church. That’s why you aren’t allowed to ask lots of inconvenient questions like: if God is good, loves us and is all powerful doesn’t that mean he wants little children to die of cancer sometimes? Doesn’t that mean that little children dying of AIDS back in the 90s is a good thing, since the good and loving God wanted it?
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I’ve always thought of the bible kind of like a rorschach test. It’s always interesting to see what parts people glom onto and which parts people dismissively throw away as unimportant. It can quickly tell you what the person values and the kind of person they are.
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Gather in large numbers and share the same cup!
What’s the worst that could happen!?
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And putting money in the offering plate increases your chances of going to heaven.
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“Did you all go to Communion even though we specifically told you not to?”
*chorus “Yes.”
I can’t even be bothered with a punchline.
Fucking idiots.
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Perhaps this is God’s punishment for the Great schism.
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The only holy water worth a damn is Whiskey.
I have spoken.
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Well, they might be right. But the globs of spittle floating in and on the cup and the bits of skin cells on the bread are another matter.
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Hospital Admittance: “To the back of the line, all of you.”
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either way, they’re insane in the brain
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