Classic hysterical sermon about threat of widespread public sex

Are you kidding? You should hear how outraged some people get at anything they think might lead to even the tiniest bit of traffic delays - bike lanes, speed bumps, a mid-block entrance to a parking lot, fornication in the left-turn lane, daytime snow removal…


I remember my highly evangelical mother telling me in my youth that she heard on the Christian radio station she listened to (possibly from someone like Chuck Swindoll) that Christian missionaries went to some unnamed African location and converted a bunch of the natives to Christianity. Later, when American teenagers would come on mission trips with their portable music players (tapes or CDs I would guess for the time period), the converted natives would point out that the beats of the rock music the teenagers were listening to were the same beats that they previously used to call the evil spirits that they worshiped before being converted.

I remember thinking: A. That’s an incredibly racist, imperialist story. B. That’s some crazy conspiracy theory. Do the Christians who believe this picture music producers in California flying in pagan tribesman from Africa just to write the beats and basslines of their music to make sure the Satan gets imbued into every track? Were the neopagan percussionists in America not evil enough and the soul-corrupting beats only come from people with dark skin from a foreign land? These kinds of unsourced propaganda narratives only further reinforce how crazy and desperate some of these evangelical fundamentalists are.

Edit: …And googling it turns up a Snopes discussion (;f=94;t=000573;p=1) and other pages that I won’t link to source the story to one particular individual who apparently was quoted numerous times by people trying to argue that rock music is immoral.


“While it was initially suspected the photo was staged, video and photo
evidence revealed that the Canadian woman, Alexandra Thomas of
Coquitlam, B.C., in the shot had been knocked down by police and her
Australian boyfriend, Scott Jones from Perth, W.A., was comforting her.”


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No flying car, no rocket packs, and no sex in the street – the future ain’t what it used to be.


HaHa! Hope you get to work on time, Square!

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I think I’ve found the solution: Sex in subway stations.

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As sampled by Fatboy Slim, before Fatboy Slim was a thing, really:

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Back here in the real world, MC5 is sort of a cult phenomenon unknown to the mainstream, and the only people under 40 who have heard of John Sinclair are Ann Arbor historians or a few Hash Bash attendees. This was not the last of Van Impe’s drastically incorrect predictions of the future. Oh well. At least he was keeping it real local.

Revolution, dope, guns, fucking in the streets

That’s probably for the best, though. I mean, if they had been more commercially successful presumably we would have a big problem with sex in the streets.

Actually, they were pretty well known in the late '60s/early '70s - Rolling Stone cover, album on Billboard’s Hot 100… I was hearing their stuff in Montreal back in '69. Fred “Sonic” Smith’s band, eh?

There’s just been so much sex in the streets since then, we don’t even notice it anymore.

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