Couture platform Crocs


Originally published at:


Still ugly, only now overpriced and impractical.


There was an interview with Mike Judge in the NYTimes today where he explained, to his chagrin, that when they put Crocs in Idiocracy they had not yet gotten popular. They simply thought Crocs were just the stupidest shoes that they had ever seen and appropriate for the movie.


Before she died of old age, I had a pet rabbit who would get peeved at me for leaving my shoes by the front door. She would nip the strap on my Crocs, and I found out that Gorilla Glue (polyurethane) bonds Croc ,well, whatever they’re made of…bonds Croc shoe material fantastically. Didn’t do a bad job on my mom’s Chaco sandals, either.

Here’s your ball, DIY-ers, run with it…


adding a five-inch thick sole…

ordinary Crocs costs under $50…

Balenciaga… $850

I’m no mathematician, but I think those soles have to be at least 17" high for that price difference. Call me when you’re walking around on those.

Better yet, don’t.


$500 of Ugly? No thanks


The amazing part is $400 worth of dollar-store charms.


Must be a lot of 1%er suckers out there.


Object lesson that all the money in the world can’t buy good taste.



Bet $5 something as simple as a stray earring can still pierce the bottom all the way up into your foot.

Crocs provide negative protection. (armor -5)


That reminds me. I have a hoodie I wear everywhere, and my friends call it LDoBe’s +2 peasant cloth armor.


In my experience, Crocs are by far the best footwear for walking in polluted streams full of broken bottles and sharp metal objects. Anything more protective is too heavy or doesn’t provide enough traction.

They are still horribly ugly, of course…


I prefer steel toed keens because sharp metal and glass doesn’t cut through them like butter… :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


I’ve pulled inch-long shards of glass out of crocs, that didn’t penetrate to my feet. Never been cut once. Those thick foam soles just accumulate the crap and you pull it all out with pliers when you hang them up to dry.


During the Renaissance, chopines became an article of women’s fashion and were made increasingly taller; some extant examples are over 20 inches (50 cm) high.

Noblewomen wearing them were generally accompanied by two servants in order to walk around safely, by supporting themselves on the servants’ shoulders.


Especially when travelling on escalators, apparently.


If you reverse that escalator, the croc will probably spring back into its original ugly shape like magic.

Your foot, though, not so much.

This is where those steel toes @redesigned mentioned are really worth their weight!


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