Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/05/08/cybertruck-stuck-in-nantucket.html
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Please let this become a limerick thread!
A Tesla fan thought it was grand
To drive his Wankpanzer onto sand
He found to his woe
That his truck could not go
So a tow truck pulled him back to land
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A Connecticut man on Nantucket
stanned Elon and said “Fuck it,
I’ll buy the Musk truck,
It surely won’t suck!”
Well, now it is stuck, git!
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A man rode his truck in the sand,
But things got out of hand
The incelcamino
Just would not go
And a tow had to be planned.
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Just here to appreciate the name of the tow truck company:
the new “I Pull Out Beach Towing” service.
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Let’s make “incelcamino” a thing
A glorious name we can sing
For a truck with a design
Drawn by a child of nine
Or at least one with a child-size dingaling
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I’ll try one…
There once was a dunce in Nantucket
Whose new truck was a fucking Musk bucket
His plan that seemed grand
Left him stranded on sand
Should we tow him to land? I say “fuck it.”
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Wankpanzer gets stuck.
The dunes offer no refuge.
Seagulls shower shit.
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Driving on the sand
Close to any salt water
Voided Warranty
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There was a rich dunce who did not know
that on sand his new truck would not go.
“Leave our island,” folks implored,
but were easily ignored.
He did not see them through his new Vision Pro.
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A billionaire trying to promote
His new truck said it briefly might float.
And it turns out on land
If there’s mud or there’s sand
It works just as well as a boat.
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More like “Das Boot”.
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I like IncelCamino, but I’ve shied away from implying anything about someone’s body type based on their vehicle of choice. I prefer to highlight their apparent dearth of brain cells instead.
There once was a box made of steel,
Poorly built, with a fool at the wheel.
Way out on Nantucket,
He drove it, and stuck it,
Its absence of merit revealed.
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laugh at “wankpanzer”
is now in haiku
all thanks to you!
(gotta say I like the limericks too!)
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Poetry, l have none.
I do have beach driving experienced, gained as a cocky 16 year old in much the same way this gentleman did. Airing down your tires is everything, no matter how good the 4x4 system is. Old-timers on the Outer Banks of NC would regularly take 2-wheel drive vehicles on the beaches there (and they have deep, soft sand that’s notoriously among the worst on the east coast) with few problems. They’d run the tires down to around 10 psi. I never when that lower but would push it into the low teens with my old Jeep - the engine works less and you’ll float right along.
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So if I understand correctly…
To drive in deep sand just requires
To let out enough air from the tires.
But Musk’s trucks have no need –
They just reduce their speed
Down to zero 'til towing transpires.
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You understood perfectly!
Thanks for taking my not-in-theme reply and bringing it back into line.
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