I was half-expecting to read “boil him alive,” “look for a third nipple,” or “burn him at the stake,” but as I haven’t yet reached the end of the comments, perhaps there’s still time.
So if the child was born that way, it should come as no surprise to his accompanying adult, and suitable accommodations (sedative/analog entertainment) arranged.
This would make a great public service announcement from the Planned Parenthood Federation. Get some would be parents really thinking!
Oops. You said it.
Thanks for noticing! I try.
It’s popular in American culture to blame everything that a child might be or do directly on their parents. That’s just another “popular in America” thing that isn’t all that healthy.
I have a niece that’s a shrieker. She has pretty much broken her parents. They’ve lost the will to fight. Sometimes, when it gets to be too much, they put her on the phone or skype to talk with another family member. Kids have very different behavior with other adults than they do with their ridiculous, broken parents. Sometimes an adult who simply asks, “why are you screaming?” will stop them dead in a track of sudden self-consciousness.
Or you could fly the “Don’t Get Involved” Express for 8 long hours.
It is popular in South América too…
I’ve repeatedly reminded my 3 kids (now ages 17, 14, and 10)…
“This is a battle of wills, and you WILL lose.”
I am sorry to be blunt on this…bullshit. Parents are absolutely responsible for their children’s behavior right up until the point where the behavior is out of the child’s control (metal health issues, physical health issues, etc).
In the case of the above video…if the child has some neurological disorder (like say turrets) in which the child has zero control over their actions, then fine I am not going to hold the parent accountable.
This directly contradicts my experience in the USA when I was involved with birth and adoption 20+ years ago. At that time health professionals and social workers were being trained to use “it” rather than he or she when talking about babies and infants. Particularly pre-birth, when using a gendered pronoun might reveal information parents did not wish to know or have divulged to bystanders, but also afterwards in cases when one had not actually checked inside the pants of the child for gender.
It was considered respectful, not offensive.
This actually goes both ways, behaviorally: my niece’s son has always been the easiest, best-behaved child to the point where we actually discuss how lucky she is with him.
this is why i tend to feel bad for parents with children behaving terribly, i think this could possibly be their worst day ever.
but even the best-behaved children need an intervention sometime, as it’s just part of their social education, and parents need to be there doing that for their children. (for parents of kids on the spectrum or otherwise special needs it’s a steeply heightened thing, I’m guessing.)
but again, a 5 minute video of an 8 hour flight, being the testimony of someone who filmed the child’s face but somehow never shows the parent he’s criticizing, let alone confronts her (or even any FA), is not who i’m going to listen to on matters of social etiquette.
I’m certain I could’ve managed my own children better than this but I’ve gotta say:
Nothing tickles my heart more than non-parents giving parenting advice. There’s just no way a person can possibly know what it is to be responsible for the entire life of another human being until they are. I’m really going to take my time to read all the delicious comments later.
And for all we know, this kid is traveling to New York to see the only pediatric neurosurgeon in the world who can fix his behavior. I’m not saying that’s what’s going on or that the mother doesn’t come off like a shithead here but it’s still funny to me.
People that are parents aren’t mythical next-level evolutions of a normal human beings. They’re still people and i bet 99% of their daily struggles are releatable to any other human being, so get off your high horse. It’s like a rich person telling poor people to stay in their lane because they couldn’t possibly understand what it means to be rich.
In short. Yes i’m going to judge a parent that is struggling or falling short, and i am entitled to my own opinions on it but being an asshole to a parent is an entirely different discussion. Also i’ve seen parents be way more harsh and judgemental to other parents, so by your line of thought they’re allowed to say something because they have kids? Nah, lets be real here.
In that case, they need to get counseling and parenting classes. Or find a better home for the kid.
It is indeed harsh. And it does indeed work. We each define for ourselves what is something to scream about. But it works. You’d scream, SamWinston. You’d scream bloody murder, if you were given something to scream about.
If your spawn can’t keep it contained in a given venue, you don’t go there with them until they are mature enough to (mostly) do so. Maybe that was the little terror’s first airplane flight, hopefully it will be his last until he’s grown enough to not act in an unacceptable fashion. If it wasn’t his first flight, then the fault is with the parental unit. If your kid screams and throws sh1t around in a restaurant, don’t go back with them. Make alternate arrangements if you wish to go. Take them to a fast food joint to train/observe them and determine if they’re grown enough to handle a longer sit-down restaurant. Same with mass transit. Start small, train them, and don’t over do it.
But for the love of all that is good and holy, regardless of disability, don’t inflict that on unsuspecting others. You feel it’s your right to go anyway? Then make alternate arrangements for them and then go by yourself. They might not be capable of acting like a mature human, but you should be. Have a little respect for your fellow humans. Screaming children on a plane are no different than smoking on a plane… both are noxious nuisances that the other passengers have a reasonable expectation of avoiding. You chose to have a kid, so choose to deal with the unexpected when it turns out that your kid needs some instruction.
Barbaric? Lacking in empathy? Cruel? Sure, if that’s what you want to call it. Makes no difference to me. Don’t be a dick, and if your child(ren) are incapable of not being a dick then be responsible enough to keep them from being one until you have trained them. That’s the premise of parenting anyway, right?
For the record, I don’t blame the kid. I blame the parent(s). Period. Full stop.
the preclusion here by @Ryjkyj is that in order to understand parenting, you must first be a parent.
Do you only see a psychologist/therapist if they themselves struggle with a debilitating mental health issue?
Do you only consult with a surgeon if they have had major surgery performed on them?
You get where I am going.
In the end, the average 20-something with no kids and no formal child development education – I am not putting much stock in their opinions on my parenting. They are allowed their opinion all they like, I just don’t have to weight it very heavily. Now, if they are well versed in child psychology and parenting techniques…stocks go up. They have credibility. If they don’t have kids of their own, but practically raised two younger siblings (as can be the case in some households)…again, credibility boost!
Additionally…you don’t have to be a parent nor an expert to have a baseline level of common sense as to what you are observing. It can sometimes be very apparent what the issue is. In the case of this video, it really seems like just a terribly ill behaved child. I would concede it could also be the other end of that spectrum and be a child with severe issues. Having witnessed both ends and everything in-between…I lean to bad behavior and no discipline.
Context, for those unfamiliar:
(I think about this video every time I spend time around kids that age.)
I was on a flight during which five or six children (one family) were being only mildly disruptive. The flight attendants offered all the adults in coach free alcohol, if they so desired. Everyone was happy. The end.
A neat idea I saw on a Korean TV show recently: A guy who was travelling with his toddler son had him hand out little packages of candy to the other passengers with a message that said “I might be a little noisy, please be patient and enjoy the candy”.
Of course, the kid was extremely well behaved and slept through most of the flight anyway.