Do a "Murph" workout in honor of Memorial Day

There’s no fucking way Donald Jr did it in 31 minutes unless he scaled the living shit out of it. Because – here’s the thing – the world record is 34m 13s.

I’m a CrossFit gym that’s full of really impressive folks – a lot of guys that compete both in CrossFit, run marathons, do the IronMan, all that. The fastest time I’m seeing here today so far (we can post to an app our results) is 42:26 (with the vest) and 38:05 (without the vest).


Reminds me of when Paul Ryan said he finished a marathon in, what was it, 2 hours?

But I heartily endorse your option of doing an “anti-Murph.” I’ve bought all American-made hot-dogs and beer. It’s delicious.


Paul Ryan claimed sub-three hours (2:50-something) which was an exaggeration, but it wasn’t claiming something beyond the levels of human achievement.


Simple, but effective.

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And slightly less cultish than crossfit.


I’ve done it a few times, both “straight” and partitioned. Did it once as swim-Murph, replacing the mile runs with mile swims. It was dastardly every time and it mostly made me curse the guy.


Think I’ll support future murphs by continuing to vote for non-warmongering elected officials


You can scale these workouts to meet almost any level of fitness – there are substitute exercises for everything: stationary bikes v. running, low angle ring-rows v. pull ups, etc. We’ve got 400# dudes and 300# women, all of whom are busting hump to get better and all of them are. And no matter how much you scale, you are lapping every human being who is sitting on the couch.


I’m saving (something like) the anti-Murph for Father’s Day. The plan is to sit around and watch old Fleischer Bros. cartoons all day, then clean up in time for dinner which is supposed to be my choice (Indian food, served warm and at a table, in the actual restaurant).

My own workout consists of 100 pull-ups and push-ups, but those are spread out across 2 weeks or so… Speaking of Fleischer Bros., my wife says my arms make me look like Popeye now, so I guess that’s something.


I’m Murphing right now:


I’m a big, decently strong guy but I’ve got little noodle arms (relatively speaking). The squats would be no problem, maybe even with the weight vest. The push ups I could maybe squeeze out 100 in an hour without a vest. But the pull-ups are right out. I can’t even kip a single one. I guess I could swap them out for a bunch of single-arm rows or something…

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