Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/11/03/drunk-florida-woman-riding-a-h.html
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Drunk Florida woman riding a horse charged with a DUI
That’s a bunch of HUI.
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Ah, Florida! You make me feel so good about myself!
EDIT: If she was that blotto, how did she bridle and saddle the horse? And mount? That all takes quite a bit of coordination!
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I hope the charges don’t stick. We all know that cops will charge you with whatever they feel like at the time and then usually add “disorderly conduct” and “resisting arrest” just to road out the list.
But implicit in driving under the influence is the whole driving part. I mean, it’s right in the name.
If what she was doing was dangerous and inconsiderate (and it sounds like it was) find the actual law she was breaking and charge her with that. And if there’s no law, leave her the fuck alone and petition the state to make a law.
I also enjoy the fact that she’s causing a danger to the speeding, inattentive motorists. Like there’s no responsibility on them to see and avoid something that is literally the size of a horse.
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You can, technically, drive a horse.
But, in this case, she was not driving.
It’s not the case that the word “driving“ was invented for automobiles. Much nomenclature for operating motor vehicles was adapted from the use of horse-drawn carriages, e.g. when we talk of “pulling over” a car, pulling refers to pulling horse reins.
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According to this, the question is more about the word “vehicle”, rather than “drive”.
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Apparently riding with a designated driver or taking a taxi home can get you charged with public intoxication. At least in some places.
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Install a breathalyzer into the saddle’s horn. Fail? The breathalyzer signals to ZAP! the horse’s nethers. Horse bucks the rider. 'Nuff said.
Next!
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Well, they did. Driving Under the Influence.
To summarize: “Find the actual law she was breaking and charge her with that . . . but I hope the charges don’t stick.” Uh, what?
I also enjoy the fact that she’s causing a danger to the speeding, inattentive motorists. Like there’s no responsibility on them to see and avoid something that is literally the size of a horse.
You do understand why driving under the influence is illegal, right?
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OK, but what about if the DRIVER is sober and the HORSE is drunk?
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Words mean things - especially in a courtroom. People can’t just make up their own definitions - there is no way on this earth that a horse is vehicle. It’s an animal. It’s also a mode of transportation. But if the law says vehicle and not “mode of transportation” or “conveyance” or something similar then it doesn’t apply to this case, the charge should be thrown out and if it’s a problem (which, god help us, it appears to be in Florida) then the legislature needs to stop obsessing about gay marriage and bathroom bills and fix or update the law to cover this.
Because if we are just stretching definitions then it’s not far when “drunk” means had too many red bulls, or “breath smells of coffee” rather than “blood alcohol level above 0.08 mg/l” or whatever measure they use down there.
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I’m guessing you are being purposefully obtuse for some reason best known to yourself.
DRIVING (Black’s Legal dictionary, 10th Ed)
“The act of directing the course of something, such as an automobile or a herd of animals.”
Neither of which apply in this case. She was RIDING a horse
Two very different things.
Which is why I hope that the INAPPROPRIATELY APPLIED charges of DUI don’t stick. And if she was a public danger that she is charged with an actual offense she may have been committing. Is that clear enough for you?
And, yes, I understand why driving under the influence is illegal - thanks for the condescension.
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You do understand why that doesn’t apply to this situation, right? You do understand that a horse is not a car, right? You do understand that “drive” and “ride” are different words that mean different things, right?
Have you ever ridden a horse? The horse knows how to walk without you pushing a gas pedal. It knows how to stop without you pushing a brake. It knows how to get home without you steering. Riding a horse home while drunk is probably the safest way to get there. You could be asleep, and the horse would still get you home. The horse isn’t drunk. The horse’s reflexes and judgement are not impaired. The horse is fine.
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When he won his Oscar for the role, Lee Marvin said the horse was the one that deserved it.
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You all do know that statutes tend to define their terminology, right?
(97) VEHICLE.—Every device in, upon, or by which any person or property is or may be transported or drawn upon a highway, except personal delivery devices and devices used exclusively upon stationary rails or tracks.
(51) PERSONAL DELIVERY DEVICE.—An electrically powered device that…
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Freakin’ Florida, man…
I concur that DUI’s should be strictly applied to the operation of motor vehicles; a person can do a lot more damage to both people and property with an automobile than they can by riding a quadruped.
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Well, this IS Florida, so they gave her a stern talking to, a tearful promise to not do it again (eyeroll) and then on the way out they handed her a .38 snubnose, a fistful of mixed bullets and a pocket Constitution with the 2nd in large print.
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Living creatures are not devices. They were not devised.
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You might look at it that way. Or you might see a horse as being a device when it’s adapted to a purpose such as transportation.
