I know someone who was fifteen or sixteen when he had sex with a teacher at his school. He has no regrets or long-lasting trauma from the experience. On the other hand, there are certainly fifteen and sixteen year olds who have been abused by their teachers, no question. A sex act with a willing teenager is not ipso facto abusive. Otherwise teenagers are abusing the crap out of each other. I understand that there is a power dynamic at play, and that it can very quickly escalate into something harmful. I don’t think that adults should be having sex with underage teens as a general rule. But, exposed breasts is not abuse, unless European beaches have a rampant abuse scandal that we have yet to uncover.
As for fellatio, it depends on the context. But a drunk woman, even an adult drunk woman, is easily taken advantage of. Fifteen year olds are capable of rape. I’m not saying that’s what happened, or even that I have a clue as to what happened, but I think we’ve elevated the fact that teenagers have sexual urges to the level of national panic, unnecessarily. I don’t want this to turn into a discussion of “who raped who,” but instead we should consider that not all sexual improprieties rise to the level of “crime” writ-large. It’s a difficult argument in the context of a culture steeped in endemic sexual assault, where victims are already not taken seriously, but I do think there is a somewhat illogical attitude when it comes to the boundary areas of our conceptions of sexual morality and acceptability.
Part of the problem is that we don’t have a justice system that seems to be capable of making sober assessments about the level of harm involved, the deterrent effect needed, and the whether the accused should be rehabilitated or removed from society for some period of time. What we have are prohibitively expensive legal economies, mandatory sentencing rules, sex offender registries, and a culture of absolutism.