Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/05/01/drunken-man-kicked-bison-in-yellowstone-gets-attacked-and-arrested.html
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If they thought even once, that would be an improvement enough…
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I read these stories and ask myself how dumb can one be? Then I remember there are some who still support Trump.
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I thought that drunk who picked a fight with Tyson was a dumbass. But, Clarence you are even dumber.
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“If you get drunk and kick a bison… you might be a redneck.”
– Jeff Foxworthy (or not)
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This guy for sure has assaulted someone in a Mickey Mouse costume at Disney before…
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I can’t imagine ever being so drunk that this would seem like a good idea. I mean, I’m not someone who would kick an animal period, but if I was going to consider kicking an animal, I can’t imagine looking at a bison and thinking, “that seems like the right animal to kick; I’m sure it won’t mind.”
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From the linked article:
Yoder and Bass both waived their rights to be represented by attorneys
Please, oh please, let them be sovereign citizens who begin their court appearances by demanding that the judge prove the court’s jurisdiction over them.
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Kicked a bison? He’s lucky he didn’t get gored/stomped to death. Well, it’s good that he survived, and this can be the experience that this young man can use to grow up and… he’s how old?!
Yeah, leaving aside that the more I drink, the more likely I am to want to hug the bison, not kick it, but drinking also makes me more cautious, not less. (Drinking makes me very, very boring, basically.) But even if it didn’t… I couldn’t drink enough to reach that level of cognitive impairment. I’d pass out first.
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I’d go so far as to say “Living your life to the fullest may be precluded by selfies with bison.”
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He’s lucky he wasn’t charged by the bison as well.
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I’d like to offer the alternative of “Charged with interfering with a bison.” I don’t know why that phrasing amuses me, but it does. It’s still unclear to me as to why anyone would think this a good plan, even if they were drunk.
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I’m fairly certain I’d die of alcohol poisoning long before I’d have thoughts like “You know what deserves a good kick? That humorless looking walking tank with the sharp horns over there!”
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I’ve seen bison from reasonably close-up [1], and that description is spot-on.
[1] With a fence between me and the bison, of course.
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No fence would hold off a bison. Especially a seriously annoyed bison.
The fence holds off people.
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