You mean with someone else?
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Wasn’t the point of the article that you can have consequence free sex so long as you use the damn condoms?
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The point of the article is that it takes two to make a pregnancy and maybe, just maybe, the Xtianists and anti-choicers who moan about the evils of abortion might consider not putting the entire burden of having to go through with it on the woman.
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The thread advocated condom usage and pulling out, not the rhythm method (which is abstaining from intercourse around ovulation).
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If it was a 50-50 risk of who got pregnant, abortion clinics would be on every street-corner.
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There may be a trans-Atlantic difference here. For whatever reason, it seems like UK gays of all backgrounds are a lot more likely to fly into a weird rage about PrEP and sex without condoms. If anything, I would say that less-privileged homos are more likely to take safer sex seriously.
The thing that annoys me about those conversations is the same (hopefully satirical) flaw that I see in the OP, which is the treatment of blame as if it were a relevant consideration somehow. Like, people get pissed off at the idea of PrEP because it is more important to agree that anyone who transmits HIV is a bad guy than to prevent HIV transmission in the first place.
If unintended fathers “should have” worn a condom or pulled out, then surely they also “should have” not had sex for pleasure at all? In any case, this is orthogonal to the question of what to do when people inevitably do the thing you don’t think they should.
There is a separate discussion about condoms, and how a lot of men don’t know how to use one in a way that doesn’t make sex significantly worse, or even unachievable. But that itself is due to suppressed sex education; even the most liberal schools won’t teach you much about that. Teenage girls get introduced to a gynecologist; I think there is a (very awkward) case to be made for teenage boys to be physically taught about condom use by a medical professional.
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I have apparently been confusing those two things for decades!
Probably because I got that comprehensive sexual education that stressed neither approach is effective birth control and not to be relied on.
Think you’re still talking reliability rates in the 80’s in practice. So again. Birth control options for dudes are bad.
Even vasectomies which apparently have the highest effectiveness rate on paper. They aren’t technically considered reversable (though it can be done). And the effectiveness is for after the surgery succeeds and while it holds. Apparently the surgery itself has a decent failure rate, and they can spontaneously reverse themselves. So in practice not awesome.
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I believe that point was made. And you seem to be straining at gnats.
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For the record, I habe been told that, unsurprisingly, sex without a condom is more pleasurable for the woman as well. Which is why my wife and I practiced the pullout successfully for almost ten years.
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In my experience, many women have also preferred, and even strongly preferred, having sex without a condom. Because they found it more pleasurable.
However, there are other sources of unwanted pregnancies: Failing contraception, including burst condoms. I should know, my ex-wife became pregnant with an IUD in place (it was removed, the pregnancy survived and we opted to have our youngest son who’s 21 today - but it was very unplanned). I’ve also personally experienced a number of cases of burst condoms, none of which fortunately resulted in a pregnancy, but it might as well have happened.
I think she does have a point, but there are other factors at work in unwanted pregnancies than men not using condoms.
Biologically speaking, I suspect (but it would take a proper scientific study to corroborate) that both men and women in the moment of climax are strongly inclined to want the ejaculation inside the vagina, The pull out thus requires some discipline that in a significant number of cases will be undermined by the aforementioned urge to stay/have it stay inside.
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I swear this whole comment section would read “A Modest Proposal” and come to the conclusion that eating babies is actually a net loss of calories among society and wouldn’t actually solve any problems.
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It does tend to cause micro tears, from what I understand.
I also contend the articles insistence of “slightly” better is… at the very least up for debate.
But hey -points for the humble brag.
The sex education recommendation, however, that I heard all my youth, was that unless you want babies, you should never have penetration without a condom without some other secure contraception in place - like the pill, a diaphragm, an IUD, etc.
Because small quantities of semen will always leak before the ejaculation itself. The pullout will thus never be effective enough. (If it’s 96%, it should be good enough - in school, though, I was taught it was about 60).
Republicans and Christian fanatics have made it abundantly clear that the debate over abortion rights has approximately nothing to do with pregnancy or life; it is only about trying to control women who might otherwise get the dangerous idea that they can control themselves.
Men should certainly take responsibility for contraception, and reducing unwanted pregnancies is, of course, a good thing. But that will only change the weapons being used while the battle for dominance continues.
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Perusing this thread, I have a sneaking suspicion that Swift would not play well with modern readers.
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Thanks for that unfounded overgeneralization.
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Well, if those silly sluts wouldn’t open their legs for any man that walks by, instead wait chastely until marriage, and then only allow their husbands to have sex with them, missionary position, in the dark, once a year, not enjoying it, like god intended, they wouldn’t get pregnant very much would they? /s
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Wait sex isn’t like that? (kidding)
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