Why are you ruining a perfectly good rant with facts?
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You know men are incapable of controlling themselves or thinking or empathizing during sex!
/s
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Don’t forget the selfish white women who aren’t doing their duty to combat whitegenocide by procreating with white men and instead terminate their unplanned pregnancies. /s
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Oh, I KNOW, they are just the worst! How dare they not spend all their time caring for others, as god intended… I mean, they keep acting like they are human beings with rights and such like, instead of wards of their fathers and husbands! /s
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That counts my mom out then, too; she was so “selfish,” all three of her children are biracial.
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“Do you want to have sex with me? I don’t have any condoms. Do you have any condoms? With you? Right now? Do you want to go condom shopping with me? I can never remember which ones are the good ones.”
It would be awesome if people in general were more comfortable with this conversation.
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For anyone interested, Dan Savage talked a bit about abortion and contraception in the opening monologue of his podcast this week. For anyone interested in listening, it starts around the 0:02:14 point.
"… do you know what access to contraception does? It drives down the abortion rate. Increased access to contraception, thanks to ObamaCare is the chief reason the abortion rate in the United States – right now – is at it’s lowest levels since abortion was legalized in 1973.
"If Social conservatives really cared about preventing abortion, they would back access to contraception. But they don’t really care about preventing abortion. They care about controlling women’s bodies, and punishing people for, as Rick Santorum famously put it, ‘doing things in the sexual realm counter to how things are supposed to be.’ "
It’s an interesting listen, but I admit I’m biased. I’ve been a reader/listener for decades.
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Salt, butter, both, or something else?
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It tells me they don’t actually care about reducing abortion. They care about controlling other people’s sexuality.
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The reported spontaneous reversal rates are between 1 in 2000 and 1 in 4000 for vasectomies, btw. Also, a lot of failures happen either in the first few months (before the patient is confirmed sterile), or in people who never submit the necessary samples for testing.
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Storks???
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Mutual simultaneous oral gratification.
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Disassociating sex and relationships is also a part of this entire conversation.
Though it may be that I just haven’t completed my deprogramming from 16 years of Catholic education, I think we’ve collectively dismissed the real problems of casual sex in rolling back Victorian ideas. I’d never tell someone they can’t have sex unless they’re married to their partner, but I also think the majority of humans are better served by having sex only within committed, monogamous relationships.
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Yeah. But for those and other reasons (perminancy, expense, surgical) vasectomy isnt considered a good front line birth control method for wide adoption (neither is tubal ligation).
These are usually catagorized as sterilization methods rather than practical birth control. And medical authorities tend to only reccomend them for long term couples who’ve already had kids.
From a public health stand point the gold standard on that front are reversable, semi-perminant, with high reliabilty rates (98%+), and a low to no effort compliance.
Methods that last a long time to forever after a single application. Can be turned off at will. Carry a very low chance of pregnancy during use. And don’t require regular repeated actions, especially in the moment, to remain effective. So people dont forget, say fuckit, or just get sick of dealing with it. At low cost over the term of use/effectiveness.
There aren’t very many options that fit the bill on that. And for men there are none.
So provided you want to take responsibility for your side of the issue as a dude. Your options are to be rigerous about condom use, while being informed about options for women and what your partner uses. Effectively the Ralph Wiggum “I’m helping” position.
Or sterility.
Until that changes the bulk of the how do we no babies conversation is going to fall on women.
Which is not to say that should be the situation. Or that the assumption that this is lady stuff hasn’t driven the lack of options for men. Or more men shouldn’t hit that low bar of participation.
Its just a profoundly frustrating angle on the birth control conversation.
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Considering just how many married folks that I personally know who are or have been unfaithful to their spouses, I’d argue that monogamy may be the most socially acceptable sexual construct, but that doesn’t automatically mean it’s “what’s best” for everyone, or even the majority of people. It’s simply how we’ve been conditioned by our society, for the last few centuries.
I know a few people in long-term polyamorous relationships, and it seems to work for them.
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My (probably reversible if I ever want to but can’t imagine I will) vasectomy has made monogamous sex entirely consequence free.
A lot of guys seem to resist the snip-snip even if they know they don’t want any more children because of some deep-seated insecurities about manhood. Also why a lot of them refuse to fix their male pets.
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This means that couples instead of having accidental pregnancies, are able to plan pregnancies, thanks to various forms of birth control.
Sex isn’t just about having children nor has it ever been just about reproduction. It’s about physical intimacy, pleasure, and bonding between couples. Sometimes, it’s just about fun. But with the fear of pregnancy hanging over women’s heads, it’s harder to enjoy that in the same way men can, since they won’t be the ones carrying a child to term, and it’s far easier to avoid taking responsibility for that, since it doesn’t happen inside their bodies.
Family planning is a health issue, a social issue, and a civil rights issue.
That’s great, but you don’t get to make that decision for others, which is the whole entire point.
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