Something like this?
to date Melizmatic, you have to accede to a binding arbitration clause, surrendering your right to sue and promising only to seek redress for any harms that she visits upon you in a system of secretive, one-sided shadow courts paid for by corporations where class actions are not permitted and the house always wins
Beat me to it 
Is that also in the contract?
You’ve been going through my files?
Do you know what it feels like to snarf extra añejo tequila? Do you?!
Yesh.
Actually the glasses/librarian/secretary thing on it’s own would qualify as kink. Just cause there is no hurting going on does not make it not kinky.
Fetish would be the proper term but fetishes are kinks.
You people are a hazard to my air passages.
But that’s not the only reason I like you 
Nah… too easy.
*lolz
True, but so many “fetishes” seem well…vanilla. I don’t mean they need to be more “X-treme” to be less boring, but some depth and texture would go a long way toward making fetishes less like cheap advertising.
I get that a lot.
The concept of fetish is like it’s own universe; it encompasses a lot.
Some are harmless, and as you put it “boring,” while others range to some truly bizarre shit.
As I recall, paraphilias as defined by the DSM are actually pretty rare. Under the manual’s definition, a person with a paraphilia requires their respective stimulus in order to become sexually aroused and/or climax. Which is probably why ‘fetish’ has proven so useful in everyday usage, since it indicates that this is a cherry on top of the person’s sexuality sundae.
Aaaaaand now I’m hungry.
For me it’s lets about it being bizarre than it being personal/human. As a very poor analogy, anyone can read/watch formulaic entertainment that punches our atavistic buttons. And hey, there’s nothing wrong at all with that. But…and maybe this is a fringe view…but why not explore the boundaries of the possible/feasible/erotic (within the bounds of safety)? Don’t get me wrong, human sexuality is rockin’. The idea that squishy sacks of protein can get it on for each other is a monument to cosmic tenacity. But why not take the torch from the biological imperative and go range beyond the realms of psycho-cultural programming?
Perhaps I’m a bit jaded. The kink scenes I’ve been involved with have all seemed kind of basic to me. Pain, pleasure, dichotomy, boring little “dungeons” (and forgive me if I’m a bit offended having some real notion of what actual medieval dungeons were like)…all right, whatever floats thine boat. But who kinks boldly into the future? Where are the really weird freaks, the philosopher freaks willing to leave the cave and see beyond?
Pro-tip: don’t tell your partner you find their eating arousing. IJS.
Right?
My guide: if you can buy an all-in-one costume of it for Halloween at the party store, then it’s probably not very kinky without adding your own equipment / rhetorical prowess / modifying the outfit.
25.6℅. 
Ha! I know, right? My twenties were pretty, interesting, but that low?
Check out the debauchery on you!
*lolz!
