Extreme Mormons: “Do it for your seven wives.”

Originally published at: Extreme Mormons: "Do it for your seven wives." | Boing Boing

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These young upstarts know not of which they speak, for it was Lee, Shredder of Gnar that was the first Herald of Galactus on the cosmic skateboard left nothing of Gnar remaining.

Gnar Lee was replaced by [Norrin] Rad the Cosmic Waverider on his Surfboard of Silver to Herald for the Eater of Worlds and challenge God Itself…

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Pretty sure the Church of Latter-day Saints officially gave that up.

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3.2 ABV? isn’t that all you can get in Utah?
ETA: been to the Wasatch brewery in Moab. tasty brews, not much buzz.

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I’m disappointed in them.
No extreme magic underwear?

Guess the Alchemist was right.

The Alchemist: I’ve got snacks, fancy beer, and some chips guaranteed to be… extreme!
Dr. Orpheus: (Amazed) How is that possible…?
The Alchemist: I don’t know, by putting a lightning bolt on the bag.

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Nope, they are clawing their way into the 20th century.
Higher ABV available at bars/breweries/restaurants. 5% limit on tap beers, but bottle/can is flexible.
Outside of that, still have to go to a liquor store to buy high abv beers or wine.

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Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Skates

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It has always tickled me that Mormon ‘Elders’ can be 18-yr old boys fresh out of high school. You know - typically the dumbest period in a young man’s life. Women don’t get this title but are referred to as ‘Sisters’.

True story - a group of Elders once stopped me on the street. They asked me for 5 minutes of my time so I agreed as long as they gave me 5 minutes to debate.

It went as one expected - they didn’t pickup on references to my devotion to Baphomet and Belial, or the Churches early connections to white supremacy.

I told them to ‘google it’ - and the most persistent of the bunch stood straight and told me ‘it wasn’t allowed’. I said that told me everything I needed to know about their religion and to have a nice day. ‘Elder’ my ass.

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(“Vanhin” is Finnish for “Elder”. The question is: “How young do the Mormons die again?”)

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I enjoyed the super villains who interviewed with the Revenge Society:
I’m Mr. Polygamy, and this is Mrs. Polygamy, Mrs. Polygamy, Mrs. Polygamy, and Mrs. Polygamy.

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It’s a little odd that they’re using the “vintage VHS home movie” filter on the footage but shooting everything in vertical video.

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There’s proof right there that the old days were better- you never saw VHS camcorder footage in vertical orientation.

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Surprised there isn’t a Porter Rockwell Porter in Utah

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Uinta makes a very nice double IPA, at 9.5% ABV. But you have to get it in cans in Utah. Verboten out of the tap.

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People who are equals and want to live poly, whelp, I don’t think that’s any of my business.

But this kind of stuff, ah hell no!

4025981441

(Fringe mormon, not LDS. I’d have more sympathy if LDS hadn’t tried to claim non-existent IP rights over the word mormon.)

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Won’t somebody please think of the the children?!

Do it for your 35 kids!

Also: the use of “Elder” for Mormon missionaries I always found funny, perhaps because the first one I met had the last name “Child”-- “Hello, I’m Elder Child, and I’m here to discuss the other Gospel of Jesus Christ, may I come in?” I would guess there are quite a few "Elder Young"s too.

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“Extreme Mormons” sounds like an older-guy-seduces-younger-guy gay porn channel on P0rnHub.

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