I remember visiting the home of an acquaintance who showed me how he had a large collection of guns secreted all over the house, starting at the foyer and ending in the bedroom. Rather than make his home seem well defended, it appeared to offer late night burglars a trail of guns to arm themselves with. Many gun owners have some big delusions of guns magically making them safe. :-/
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That’s the Coen Brother’s remake. Steve Buscemi and Javier Bardem are the Wet Burglers, with John Goodman as the crotchety neighbor with a heart of gold. I can’t think of any child actors, so that part of the joke will go unfinished.
ETA: Fuck it, Frances McDormand plays Kevin. I love her in anything.
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Ooo! So you leave all the guns out ALL THE GUNS on that trail to the bedroom big guns pretty guns SUCH GUNS so even if he came equipped with a knife or an ax or a portable GUIllotine he would trade up along the way or even if he HAD a gun he would be like “Better gun!” and swap for one of yours but all of your guns are BOOBY-TRAPPED so all you have to do when he gets to your bedroom is to make sure that he fires the gun, thus BACKFIRING HIMSELF INTO OBLIVION!!! Only problem is if he is feeling merciful, squeamish, maybe he just hits you with the gun a couple of times “Where are the rest of the GUNS?!?” but that’s when the bucket full of hammers and blowtorches comes swinging down from the rafters because he forgot about KEVIN!!! You’ll want a bedroom with a high ceiling. Lots of rafters.
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Secreted! I see that usage so seldom but love it so! For the creating of the secrets, obviously, but also I like the idea of being able to secrete a gun.
They do have search dogs trained to sniff out flash memory. Jared Fogle learned that fact the hard way.
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A wild LockpickingLawyer appears!
He uses Literally Anything!
It’s super effective!
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If the Lockpicking Lawyer wants to get in my house for some reason he’s going to get in. I just need it to be good enough to prevent kids/pets/etc… from getting in. Burglars are just going to use a crowbar anyway so making the lock complex enough to stop them is unnecessary.
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Eh, he’d probably just sit them on the sofa and watch TV with them.
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It’s the screw placement that’s wrong.
Usually vents only have one screw on each of the short sides. This is so you can screw the plate into the studs.
This vent would appear to screw into the void between the studs, and into the duct (unless it’s a return-air duct)
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The Wet Bandits, indeed.
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Fluffy’s got a gun…
I am 100% primed to receive a magnet link to this movie.
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This is an unsafe place to store a gun but keep in mind the person that thinks this is a good product currently has several guns stashed under the couch pillows.
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So? Install it up high where a kid can’t reach it. Problem solved.
Wait till yer border collie shoots yer 3 year old.
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y’know what would be fun?
- take a picture of the gun in its hiding place,
- crop the image to match the outline of the hole,
- take the gun and replace it with the picture of the gun in the hole,
- close the vent.
Then say, “Dude! Show me that cool hiding spot you have for your six shooter, again.”
Then laugh and laugh
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Says the person who never had kids. Everyone who has kids remembers the time they looked away for 3 minutes, and their toddler had stacked chairs three meters up and was reaching for the last cookie in the house above the refrigerator.
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Yep. And the vents are way too small and tightly packed, taking up like 20% of the surface area instead of 80%.
These days neodymium magnets should be strong enough to hold a normal functional vent cover to the wall, and would make it much easier to clean vents; no more increasing diameter of screws to lodge it in the plaster hole the HVAC installer thought would hold it.
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fast little buggers, aren’t they?
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Did he have one of those novelty “Welcome” mats threatening to kill intruders? Because I always figured that those just advertised that there were guns to steal in the house.
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