Flip open a butterfly knife like a gentleman bastard


#1

[Read the post]


#2

Just not that eager to relive that slice of my past…


#3

I’m a bastard but not a gentleman. Is there an alternate method for people like me?


#4

So not everyone learned this f*cking around in high school?

Jeebus, people, what did you do with yourselves?


#5

I put this in the same category of douchebaggery as those who endlessly practice wildly complicated ways of opening, striking, and closing a Zippo lighter.


#6

The 1-2-3 method is nice and simple, but to achieve true bastard status, you do it with your hand out of LOS, inconspicuously, and sink the blade before your victim has any knowledge of it.

Flipping it about flashily for all to see, at least in public, absolutely signifies a asshole and someone who should be taught by a gentleman bastard the proper use of a firearm in a confrontation.


#7

Some people learn to fling yo-yos. Some people do card tricks. Some people pick locks. If you find something interesting to do with your hands that makes them dance, good for you. (I don’t get to play with my butterfly knife at home much, because it makes the family nervous.)


#8

I just have a caterpillar knife. But I can wait.


#9

Fun sucker!

Did you see 11 year-old Chloë Moretz in Kick Ass?

Adorable! How can you not love that?


#10

So stop liking things you don’t like?


#11

Years of Team Fortress 2 has taught me that the best way to deal with someone wielding a butterfly knife is to set them on fire.


#12

Or, you can go (slightly) more practical and get a butterfly-style comb.

Just be careful not to flash it around where you might end up needing to answer a lot of questions…


#13

In the 80s, I knew a kid who would show off his butterfly knife hanging around the arcade games at the high school cafeteria . He would boast about how many times he cut his hand practicing.


#14

Honestly I bought my butterfly bottle opener because of that game. And staring at the in game animation long enough to figure out how to use it.


#15

After I cut myself for the first time - well, after I healed - I put a strip of duct tape on the edge of my painfully sharp butterfly knife. Worked pretty well, although I tried to avoid testing its limits.


#16

Extend pinky and flip it like a lady bastard.


#17

Ah this brings me back - I used to have a lovely brass balisong when I was in high school. It was just fun to play with. I think my dad must have found it and secretly confiscated it - I’ll have to ask him about that. And the stiletto I brought back from Mexico that he probably confiscated as well…

I think it’s absurd that butterfly knives are illegal. They’re no more dangerous than a folding knife or fixed blade, or any of the assisted opening knives that are perfectly legal.


#18

isn’t this a tautology in BB speak?


#19

I went to a very conservative high school in Utah and the fucking didn’t involve any sort of knives at all - thank god for when I finally got to the University.


#20

No. I wanna learn from Florida Man!