Flood destroys home of man who believes floods sent to punish gays


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/08/18/flood-destroys-home-of-man-who.html


Quotes on religion and the mythical Christian solar god Jesus's association with the Sun
#2

hey, at least he enjoyed it!


#3

Given the logical “flexibility” afforded extremists like this guy, I’m sure he’ll just contort this into “God was telling me I’m not trying hard enough to demonize and incite violence against homosexuals…”


#4

My take-away is that he’s refusing to come out of the closet, despite a great big neon sign from G-d.


#5

Dog bless him.


#6

That scamp, God, always tempting an atheist like me into believing in Him by setting up karmic incidents like this.


#7

Karma has nothing to do with God.


#8

More to my point, neither has anything to do with reality.


#9

It punished him. Ipso fatso, he is gay.


#10

You are free to do as you believe.


#11

Karma ran over Dog, Indeed.


#12

boo-hoo-hoo.jpg


#13

Emphasis mine. I doubt Perkins and his family will have to live in a trailer. If he can afford to purchase David Duke’s mailing list he should have enough to live comfortably while his home is being rebuilt.

And I’m sure he gets paid well enough by Fox News for his appearances as an expert–although an expert on what exactly remains a mystery.


#14

So does that mean…?

Inquiring minds want to know!!


#15

Look, the important thing is that this has nothing at all to do with anthropogenic climate change. Which doesn’t exist and is not altering the climate even slightly which is not causing low-lying coastal areas to slip inexorably into the sea. Heavens no. Not happening at all. And even if it was happening, which it isn’t, it would be a good thing. Bracing. Spiritual. Why, it almost makes you wish it was happening, being so bracing and spiritual and good for God-fearin’ folk, but, alas, it isn’t. At all. And, furthermore—[expletetives, sputtering choking noises, screams, water splashing].

–Last Transmission from the Seaspire Governance Platform in the Louisiana sea, year 211 after ruin, recovered via subspace ansible and translated from the original Classical Sinoslavic by L. L. year ██ before ruin.


#16

Look, pal, the Bible itself claims that God promised never to have another flood of “biblical proportions”. I suppose he left himself some wiggle room to have smaller floods (as long as they didn’t destroy “all life”), but by definition that wouldn’t be “biblical proportions”…


#17

Oh, for Pete’s sake, floods are the holy wrath equivalent of carpet bombing. There’s gonna be some collateral damage.

After all, I beseeched Baal to strike down my neighbor who lets his dog crap on my lawn, and the resulting deluge took out the whole dang neighborhood.

Lesson: if you wanna do it right, you really have to buck up with the prayers and sacrifices and splurge on the holy lightning.


#18

his karma ran over his dogma


#19

Karma is a concept in multiple south asian religions


#20

Yes. Jesus is totally coming on to this guy.