Florida man with a literal monkey on his back arrested for car theft

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/17/florida-man-with-a-literal-mon.html


Given the oddly juxtaposed circumstances, it wouldn’t have been a true Florida Man tale without the monkey… or some other clinging primate.

This episode in the Continuing Saga of Florida Man is tragicomic. I feel bad for the monkey.


Yeah, from what I could make out from a conversation drowned out by a diesel engine, he had already applied for permits.

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Aldo Nova also warned us that life is just a fantasy…

“Can you live this fantasy life?”

… and apparently that fantasy involves monkeys and stolen cars, as most good fantasies do.

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Wait, I thought a monkey conveyed immunity from prosecution?

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Florida Man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vGgUoIexVE

“Great news! The cops fell for it!”

“So they arrested your human?”

“Yep, and gave me a vacation in a place with three, count them, three female monkeys.”


“Next time I’ll rob a bank instead of just stealing a car.”

“A car makes for a great chick magnet, but what good is money to a monkey?”

“Silly ape, you can have your human buy you bananas with it.”

“Oh right.”




Many years ago I did field work studying white-faced capuchins. Really smart, amazing animals. It just feels wrong to see one in a diaper or on a leash.

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Truly sad. I think the monkey will miss him, but my hope is that he’ll be happy to be with other monkeys in an environment that doesn’t include felonious humans.

I have to assume they let the man go after arresting the monkey, but I am mostly surprised the monkey could even reach the pedals!

First of all - Florida- boo, hiss.

Now that that’s out of the way: please don’t keep monkeys as pets. They are not child substitutes, they are very smart, and they don’t live by rules that make them a good fit for domestic bliss.

Florida has a significant population of feral rhesus macaques, and as many as 30% of them are thought to be infected with Herpes B, a virus that is exceptionally dangerous to humans and which can be transmitted via contact with urine, feces and saliva.

This Mother Jones article details the problem really well.


Excessive titlegore. Monkey was literally on their shoulder. It’s not a monkey who can read.

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