Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/17/florida-man-with-a-literal-mon.html
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Given the oddly juxtaposed circumstances, it wouldn’t have been a true Florida Man tale without the monkey… or some other clinging primate.
This episode in the Continuing Saga of Florida Man is tragicomic. I feel bad for the monkey.
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Yeah, from what I could make out from a conversation drowned out by a diesel engine, he had already applied for permits.
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Aldo Nova also warned us that life is just a fantasy…
“Can you live this fantasy life?”
… and apparently that fantasy involves monkeys and stolen cars, as most good fantasies do.
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Wait, I thought a monkey conveyed immunity from prosecution?
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“Great news! The cops fell for it!”
“So they arrested your human?”
“Yep, and gave me a vacation in a place with three, count them, three female monkeys.”
“Wow.”
“Next time I’ll rob a bank instead of just stealing a car.”
“A car makes for a great chick magnet, but what good is money to a monkey?”
“Silly ape, you can have your human buy you bananas with it.”
“Oh right.”
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Many years ago I did field work studying white-faced capuchins. Really smart, amazing animals. It just feels wrong to see one in a diaper or on a leash.
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Truly sad. I think the monkey will miss him, but my hope is that he’ll be happy to be with other monkeys in an environment that doesn’t include felonious humans.
I have to assume they let the man go after arresting the monkey, but I am mostly surprised the monkey could even reach the pedals!
First of all - Florida- boo, hiss.
Now that that’s out of the way: please don’t keep monkeys as pets. They are not child substitutes, they are very smart, and they don’t live by rules that make them a good fit for domestic bliss.
Florida has a significant population of feral rhesus macaques, and as many as 30% of them are thought to be infected with Herpes B, a virus that is exceptionally dangerous to humans and which can be transmitted via contact with urine, feces and saliva.
This Mother Jones article details the problem really well.
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Excessive titlegore. Monkey was literally on their shoulder. It’s not a monkey who can read.
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