Florida monkey escapes, wreaks havoc on Orlando

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wreaks havoc on Orlando

and nothing of value was lost

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Shoulda kept runnin’, little dude.

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Finally, a wabbit to save us from this monkey business.

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Domesticated dogs and cats are true pets– they seek your attention and affection, they come when called (well, dogs do, anyway), and when they get lost they are visibly happy to be home (cats typically have free reign of the neighborhood and just come back after patrolling their territory.) They are the result of thousands of years of selective breeding. Primates are not.

As I see it, having a “pet” that doesn’t want to be a pet is like keeping someone in prison.

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Yea, that all makes sense…
But haven’t you always wanted a monkey?

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I much prefer dogs.

They’re dim, but that’s a feature, not a bug.

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I think the dimness is basically a prerequisite for the kind of pure, unadulterated, Colombian marchingpowder levels of love they give us.

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Perhaps an exotic pet (like a llama or an emu)?
but not a real green dress that’s cruel

What they should do is to put Zeek in an unlocked cage. When Zeek picks the lock and actually locks rather than unlocks the cage, he’ll figure that his magical powers have disappeared and will give up.

I believe we have found Florida Man’s sidekick.

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There’s the problem. I realize the monkey is technically property, but returning him to his “owner” who’s already demonstrated negligence just seems like it’s setting this up to happen again, even if it’s only happened twice in three years.

Then again I may be overreacting because monkeys scare the shit out of me.

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(sheepishly)

Well. . . yes, when I was a kid I thought it would be cool to have a pet chimp (thank you very much “BJ and The Bear”), of course at the time I also thought it would be cool to own a Sherman tank. The harsh reality of owning either of those is : lots of money, lots of work, not a whole lot of benefit. And that’s actually how I feel about most exotic pets, they are living trophies, not actual pets.

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I guess Orlando Sanford has gone…to the monkeys?

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Well we all saw those ads in the old barber shop comic books.

But I was more having fun with this song.

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