Florida Senator makes up award for failed President

Thanks, this will come in handy.

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You know what this is like? This is like that time the Saudis did a whole stupid ceremony with orbs just to make him feel like the center of attention. Apparently it makes him very happy!

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Yeah, it is a bit sad that he only gets a tiny little gold-plated bowl rather than the full equestrian statue treatment.

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Why aren’t they showing the accompanying certificate? Sure, Biff can’t read it, but it’s in done in colourful crayon with lots of pictures of the “best preznit evah, believe me”.

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Champion for Freedom Award

Of

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Can someone please photoshop an ice cream sundae in there? Because we all know that’s what it’ll be used for.

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I was thinking it looked more like a Pensieve, and that I would NOT want to draw out any of those memories…[shudder]

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Now that he’s back at Mar-a-Lago, it’s harder to bring in Big Boy play machines to cheer him up.

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Love that one, it’s his “poop face”.

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This reminds me of the story about the time that Trump demanded a trophy for winning “low net” in a “scramble” golf tournament because he is both a notorious cheater and a sore loser. I’m not a golf guy so I don’t remember the details except that there was no such award for the team event.

However Trump was so insistent that a person on the staff ended up grabbing a flower vase out of the women’s restroom, dumping out the flower and presenting it to him as a trophy just to shut him up.

ETA: Here’s the story as told by Sportswriter Rick Reilly with animation.

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Chrissy Teigan said it best: what a “pussy ass bitch.”

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Based on his attire, it looks like the award was so important that he took 5 min away from his golf round to accept it.

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It’s the first annual please-tell-your-minions-to-vote-for-us award. yay…

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He also routinely cheats the actual winners of tournaments at his own golf clubs out of championships they legitimately won. And hold on to your short pants—it’s likely Trump also lied about having 18 golf championships.

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They cannot make their minds up:

Trump was given a bowl and deemed a Champion of Freedom, which is an award that Republicans made up to make Trump happy.

Here is how the National Republican Senatorial Committee described the award, "This weekend, NRSC Chairman Rick Scott presented President Donald J. Trump with the NRSC’s inaugural Champion for Freedom Award.

Above? Despite? Opposite? Outside? Versus? Past? All good prepositions that might also fit.

But then there’s ‘against’. Yeah, that one will do.

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He literally is a participation trophy:

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Donald, always getting there ahead of the parodists.

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The Republicans have to keep him happy now. If they don’t his cult will turn against them and split the party, and they’ll have no chance of winning the next election.

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They have no hope now, anyway.

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