Florida woman poured Mountain Dew over herself to erase evidence after arrest. It didn't work.

Originally published at: Florida woman poured Mountain Dew over herself to erase evidence after arrest. It didn't work. | Boing Boing

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Amateur! Everyone knows that it has to be Code Red.


Trust your journey says her Angel number.

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Don’t dew the crime if you can’t dew the time.


Wheeler told police he rubbed lemon juice on his face to make it invisible to security cameras. Detectives concluded he was not delusional, not on drugs — just incredibly mistaken.

Wheeler knew that lemon juice is used as an invisible ink. Logically, then, lemon juice would make his face invisible to cameras. He tested this out before the heists, putting juice on his face and snapping a selfie with a Polaroid camera. There was no face in the photo! (Police never figured that out. Most likely Wheeler was no more competent as a photographer than he was as a bank robber.) Wheeler reported one problem with his scheme. The lemon juice stung his eyes so badly that he could barely see.


Takes notes… “Does…not… erase…DNA…in…crime…scenes.”

Ok, got it!


She must not’ve been thinking. Pop’s just gonna make you sticky and easier to grab on to.


I like to think the Mt Dew bath was merely coincidental, rather than an attempt to erase evidence. The lady knows what she likes and what she likes is to be sticky and vaguely citrusy. Who am I to judge?


Citation needed


I can confirm it is delicious, and possibly addictive, according to my studies. (Sample size: 1).

I used to drink WAY too much. like 4-6 a day. But now I do just 1 in the morning.

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This person has a facebook page and it is a hoot.

DNA is a big fragile molecule. It begins to depurinate around a pH of 5. Mountain Dew has a pH of 3.3.

Pretty much anything other than neutral saline will make collecting DNA evidence trickier.


So you’re saying the real problem is she didn’t use enough Mountain Dew. :thinking:


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