So wait, did they try to kick up the gas stoves outrage because the purple M&M’s outrage didn’t catch on, or was it the other way around?
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Oh! I though he was worried about the competition. (Far better than his family offerings.)
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When they aren’t griping that they can’t mortgage the staff.
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Okay, now I want stick and blocks so I can build little structures. I like to play with my food.
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Like little edible Lincoln Logs! Now that’s a food the GQP would have to love.
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I’m also a tiny bit cautiously optimistic about this. You can’t rant about trans people 24h a day, so they do need to find a steady stream of other things to be outraged about. That’s clearly getting more difficult here and they may well start alienating their audience more and more with stuff like this. Trying to start new culture wars about M&Ms, toasted nuts, and gas stoves is scraping bottom pretty hard.
This is kinda what happened to Andy Rooney. He started out arguing about big topics, but by the end he was just a weird cranky old man yelling at clouds about the air in potato chip bags and even his core audience knew it. He was a laughing stock toward the end. An inauspicious end to a man who was a real journalist in his day.
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Hmm. Kind of fitting then that David Sedaris has taken over as a sort of gay Andy Rooney. He used to be meaningful and discussed some big topics, but he has also turned into an angry old man yelling at clouds. 
(Edit: Grammar)
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That’s a really good analogy. His decline started quickly because he got so successful so fast. There was a genuineness to his rancour when he was a struggling writer, but since he got really successful and is living it up in a fancy flat in Paris, his acrimony became a tone-deaf affect. His stories ring hollow now. Like, dude, you have nothing to be so cranky about.
I suppose this is a problem for anyone who’s allure is based on general negativity. Once they become successful, it becomes necessary to artificially maintain that negativity (or if it doesn’t, it becomes evidence their negativity was self-defeating all along).
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No one minded the war on Christmas when Andy Rooney was mad about it.
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