one of my favourite pubs is owned by a Catholic Social-Democratic Turk - an unlikely happy mutant combination I love, and the audience is similar great.
today I learnt the he his gay. YAY!
today I learnt he has a crush on me. WTF?
my sexual preferences are not compatible with his, and I’m not sure if we were able to define boundaries acceptable for both sides.
Just politely explain that you don’t like men that way, but you’re happy to be friends if he would be OK with that.
If he throws a fit and tells you to get out, well, maybe he’s not such a great mutant after all…you know?
This is always interesting to me. We’re all different and have different experiences, and I don’t assume mine are universal. So the disclaimer here is that maybe I’m putting something onto you that doesn’t line up with what you’ve experienced at all. The other disclaimer is that I’m assuming you mean you’re at least mostly not attracted to men.
I’m not the most attractive man in the world and I never expected any of the come-ons I’ve ever received, but the few come-ons which were unambiguous were always from other men. If you’re straight it’s a little jarring, but if you think about it, it makes sense. Women don’t ask men they’re interested in out with any real frequency and are a lot more subtle about indicating interest. So when you’re a straight guy minding his own business, another man hitting on you always seems weird because it doesn’t even fit into your existing paradigm if you swapped the genders. At least, that’s how I’m interpreting your “WTF.” If your WTF is because he’s not taking no for an answer, I’m afraid @anon67050589 is right. 
My congressman died today. Dammit, I liked my congressman. Mark was honest and smart and energetic and hard-working, and helped an old cynic like me retain my optimism about US politics. Fuck cancer.
Oh, I saw that. I was wondering if his district was on Oahu. I’m so sorry for him and for you, too.
I think we parted more or less on this terms and I have no hard feelings, but
we hugged. I like hugs - being a social animal the human warmth and closeness is important and nice for me (on the spectrum of sexual preferences I’m somewhere between heterosexual and asexual). but he was really fast with his hands below my shirt and near my junk and this was uncomfortable. I explained this a few times and think he received it. but still.
Wait…the groping happened before or after you told him you weren’t interested in him sexually?
So I’m going to go out on a limb and say, no, he did not “receive” it. And you should avoid him and not be alone with him and take precautions of the kind usually handed out to women… he’s demonstrated he didn’t hear you and he doesn’t respect your boundaries and if my experience is anything to go by, the next incident is going to worse and harder to extricate yourself from. Be safe and take care.
And double-fuck pancreatic cancer.
No shit, my cousin went to the doctor because his arm hurt and he was dead in six months. Jesus that shit.
Yeah, in my case it was my dad and my godmother. Similar situation: both went to the doctor because they didn’t feel good, then from diagnosis to a bad death in less than a year. And no good way to test for it. I had high hopes for this kid’s mesothelin test but it seems to have come to naught.
Two people at my company have had pancreatic cancer since I’ve been there. One has survived so far (luckily!), and seems to be doing well. The other was someone in my little workgroup, and she died within a few months of diagnosis. I’ve been paranoid about tummy aches ever since.
I too am down with the frown.
Just lost my sister (and last family) to a GBM & only got 60 days from onset of symptoms to her passing 
& am still going through the “go to call & realize/remember she’s not there anymore” mental realignment…
Shortly before that, the wife & I were on year five of our “first 10” plan (u kno, get home, pay down debt, start school funds, etc) when we decided to start our family. Yet we got a S4 Ductal Carcinoma instead… & that all ended in tears. That was a totes 
to the soul.
fsk cancer
I woke up this morning to a clogged kitchen drain and a sink full of vile dishwasher effluent. No biggie, stuff happens. Except the plunger didn’t help, and neither did the snake-- it’s clogged someplace in the wall, upstream from the main line. Time to call the plumber to go up on the roof and roto-root the branch line. So I called my usual plumber. He’s on vacation in Rome for the rest of the month. 
Oh, that sucks.
So… I used to be a HDO patient, I was at 300mg/day (that’s a LOT, I’ve done some research into oxy junkies on youtube - surprisign what people feel OK with sharing and I haven’t seen any that are that high ((no pun intended)) as of yet - not that they aren’t out there mind you) but due to recent DEA intervention in my area my Dr is in jail (I actually warned him about the DEA having a mad-on for HDO’s and to take extra care/thank him for trusting me enough to take the risk - turns out he wasn’t very good at managing risk, anys) I’ve been cut down by 74% over the past six weeks (well, did that cut in four, loitering at 74% for a month before next cut) - shit, I digress.
Point being, I’m an outlier, 300mg/day doesn’t get me “high”, no to say there isn’t sedation - there most certainly is - but it’s easily manageable. I had also been at that dose for close to a decade (I know!) and my standard dose was 75mg @ 4x/day but sometimes I would go as high as 150, again will no significant side effects.
At any rate, I’m now waaay down and have been given a slew of other drugs, so many I have to write them down because I can’t remember them all (Oxycodone, Alprazolam, Gabapentin (2 different doses of this), Baclofen, Robaxin, Celexia & Naproxen) but the end result is two key things:
Shit, did it again - my brain is fucking fried.
My fuck today is my fucking fried brain because my new Dr is so afraid of the DEA that I’m “too high risk” (his words) to keep on oxy (and my patient records have been seized by the feds and I’ve been unable to track them down).
Sorry for the babble, but I’m fucking breaking under the weight of this today 
Over a year ago, the vet told us that one of our cats had late stage kidney disease. The numbers from the blood work at the time gave an average of less than 30 days to live. He told us to take her home, keep her comfortable, love her, and spoil her. I swear I think she hear that last part and decided to stick around as long as she possibly could: these humans are mine!
We just got back from having her euthanized. It wasn’t even the kidney disease that got her, at least not directly. She’d developed dental problems quite a while back, but wasn’t a good candidate for surviving the surgery needed to remove the bad tooth. It wasn’t keeping her from eating and she didn’t act like she was in pain, so we figured we’d just keep an eye on it and try not to worry about it too much.
Last Sunday, my partner and I noticed Keke had some swelling on one side of her face. By late evening, the swelling was to the point that she couldn’t keep her eye open. I called our vet Monday morning, got an appointment for Tuesday morning, and then worried about Keke all day long as she’d demand food, then stare at the dish, before walking away without eating anything. The swelling diminished, but she still wasn’t actually eating, nor drinking water. I knew about the tooth, of course, but she’d actually let me rub her jaw under the swelling and didn’t seem to be uncomfortable about it.
On Tuesday, the vet confirmed the abscessed tooth was the problem, but Keke wouldn’t really let her examine it too much. Since she bit a vet on her previously visit, we decided to play it safe, and give her fluids and antibiotics and hope for the best. Wednesday and Thursday, she was back to her demanding self, and ate quite a bit. We knew it was a matter of time, but then again, we’d known that for a year or more, hadn’t we?
Last night I noticed a smear of matted fur around her jawline. I cleaned it with a wet paper towel, then noticed a few minutes later, that it was a large bit of skin, falling loose and exposing the tissue underneath. She wouldn’t really let me examine it much more than that. My partner and I talked it over and arranged her day such that she could go to the vet with me today. I called first thing this morning and got an appointment for late afternoon.
Once she was on the exam table, with me sitting in a chair, was the first time I could really see the wound underneath the skin flap. It pretty much left an opening into her jaw and partially into her mouth. There was enough of it still attached, that trying to remove it would not be easy and there was enough of a hole left that … well, she probably wouldn’t ever heal and certainly wouldn’t go back to eating or drinking.
We had to make that choice that every pet parent has to make sooner or later, and let her go before she started suffering just because we wanted to keep her around a while longer. I know it was the right thing to do … Hell, ever fucking time we’ve ever had to do it, it was the right thing to do, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I miss my Keke. (I also miss Bella, Pyrite, Dante, Pixel … and all the other cats and dogs that have be in my life. Some of them have been gone more than 20 years, but still …)
Yeah, fuck today.
I’m very sorry for your loss, awfulhorrid. It never gets easy, does it?
This makes me think of our cat who had surgery to remove a malignant tumor in her upper intestine. She was 13 and was given 3-5 months. She ended up living 14 more active and pain-free months.
Cats have their own ways of doing things, which is why we love them.
It’s part of the price of having them … and I know I’m going to get in line to pay it again. (Hell, even if I didn’t think I could stand to get another one to go through it, we still have two others right now who WILL STAY HEALTHY FOR A LONG TIME TO COME dammit.)
Absolutely. She never really did anything that said “Hey Primary Human, I’m in pain over here.” When the vet said that Keke’s tooth was abscessed, I immediately thought back to a few years ago when I had something similar … and remembered several days of agony waiting to get to my dentist. Not a peep out of her, the stubborn little beast! We even napped together Sunday afternoon, her curled up peacefully next to me.
OK, going to go pet the boys now … they still don’t know why their humans are acting all funny and they keep looking around for their elderly sister, but they’ll take the pettin’s.
<3. I’m so sorry, love! Give T and L some scritches for me!
