I whish you the best, and hope you’ll land a great position. You’re probably in a worse situation, even. Doesn’t give me solace, but shifts perspective.
I’m trying to pull myself together.
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Oh, I wasn’t saying I have worse… it sucks for a lot of people right now. I think if we both keep at it, we’ll land okay. I feel your frustration, though, and absolutely share it.
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I know you didn’t say anything in the direction that your situation is worse than mine. I was just interpolating from what you posted here and there on the BBS about yourself.
First of all, I’m not in the US. Second, I’m also not in humanities. On both accounts, I feel for you, based on my experience and my well-established predjudice. 
ETA: I sincerely hope this doesn’t worsen your mood or feels like snark. I know that this probably is lost in translation, and written ‘communication’* even makes it worse, but I feel that your life is harder than mine.
I, for one, have white central European privileges others are dying for. In the literal sense of the word. Also, I’m biologically male, and do identify as such. My daily life may seem straining and sometimes psychologically unbearable, but holy hell, am I a whiny self-pitying asshole if I stop rolling that rock. I read my Camus, about half a lifetime ago or more.
'* I loathe Watzlawik’s axiomes.
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After months of busting my ass on this project with poorly written software, low training, next to no documentation, and several mid-course corrections, we had it basically done and I spent a couple weeks making a 54 page document on how to use the software and update the project. I was the last one working on the final wave in the end and probably have more hours logged on the software than anyone else, or possibly second next to this one lady.
And then the client comes back with an issue. I fix it the way I know how - it works on my end, the client says it isn’t right on theirs.
So they got the guy who wrote the software into it and he is claiming we have been exporting the background PDFs wrong, leaving two default boxes checked. Basically it is our (or my) fault.
Listen, buddy,
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Your software is garbage. The only one who would use it this long is someone like me who is tenacious and willing to live in the hellscape you created out of some perverse pride. Ask anyone who has worked on it their opinion of it. Ask the people who took training in it and then bowed out.
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You NEVER said to uncheck those boxes. I have or original “documentation”. It never mentions it.
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I call bullshit on that causing the problem. Why would preserving Illustrator editing capabilities or embed page thumbnails create an extra thru-cut layer?
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Even if it made a replica layer for some reason, why would one be irregular and one be rectangular? I could see a bug replicating an element, but CREATING a new element a different shape using a specific spot color??
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Fuck your whole “I have a program which gives me the ability to look at the internals of the PDF.” I said show me where my file has two thru-cuts. You have a program? We all have programs. I got Pitstop on my Acrobat and I can take it apart piece by piece if I wanted.
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“I removed the sales people as they don’t need to see all the technical discussion.” You mean so they don’t see people question your authority? Yeah, yeah, good idea.
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“i can write a program…” thats what got us in trouble in the first place.
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A former co-worker had a “mild” stroke the other day. She is younger than me and while she has a variety of talents, she has amazing skills as a hand letterer and pin striper. Like the old school skills to draw perfect lines seemingly effortlessly. She posted an image earlier today of her hand writing and it literally looks like it was from a 6 year old.
I realize strokes are weird and this is still early, it was mild, they got her help early and she is younger - but yeesh, man. I hope that she makes a full recovery. I feel terrible for her and her kid. (Extra drama of a recent custody battle with a real asshole of an ex and his rich family.)
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You know what I love? I love it when a pharmacy benefit manager (fuck you Express Scripts) decides that it knows better than my doctor which medicine I should take. Why do I even know go to the doctor? I should just go straight to Express Scripts and humbly request they supply me with the pharmacologic regime they think I deserve. And later, when I run out of sugar pills, I will go back to them and ask, in my most pathetic voice,” Please sirs, may I have some more?”
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Come on. Waiting for the lab results to confirm that my antibiosis two months ago killed off all Borellia in my aching tissue (it’s a joint issue, come to think of it), my medical professional asks me if I ever got tested for HIV, since he worries that he sees me to much “for someone my aged”. Promptly, I develop a localised rash at different places, without any apparent reason, which does not go away for two weeks and counting.
I don’t have any other symptoms, fuck this neurodermatitis shit.
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“Fun” follow up - posted a ~$94,000 bill for an over night stay in the hospital, discounted down to the bargain price of just under $34,000. Holy shit. How fucking broken is our healthcare system? She was doing freelance at the time, so, no insurance.
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Dude, you are singing my song. Universal healthcare is the only answer. Nothing else works. Current system is dead busted.
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Shit, got my continuing rashes diagnosed as a fungal infection.
But this didn’t trigger a fuck today, even.
The Turkish invasion in Syria also was predictable. Terrible, but predictable.
This wasn’t:
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My friend/landlord got the crap beat out of him the other day on his own property the other day by a small gang who took advantage of neighbors not being home. Bats and sticks, and who knows what else. They took his cellphone and close to $1000 he uses to buy stock for his small resale business (cigarettes, toilet paper, etc.).
Luckily, no broken bones. His eyes will be fine, etc.
I’m going to set up a platform to try and raise money to help. Does anyone have a good feel of which GoFundMe-style platform is most trusted at the present time?
Side note: Geez, Marcelino doesn’t really need a Halloween costume idea this year… 
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I’m fuming. Relative got diagnosed with cancer. Last Friday. Metastatic, bones affected. Problem 1: doctor is on holidays, and details of diagnosis weren’t given to said relative, but sent to said doctor. Problem 2:
Living alone, in a small parish which has basically no public transport. Next bus stop is 30 min on foot. Can’t drive own car - also has a cataract. Plus, diagnosing medical professionals warned should not go by bus because even a sharp stop could provide enough energy to break bones - and the spine is affected.
Called the insurance to get a permanent clearance for using taxi for getting to and getting from the medics, and was connected twice. Outright refusal on their side, since - I quote - nothing is on record with the insurance which would indicate this was necessary. (How can there, diagnosis hasn’t even reached the doctor.)
I insisted to get connected to the next higher level, which weren’t available since it was already past 1pm on a Friday. I was promised a call on Monday. Until then, said relative is grounded, alone, with a fresh diagnosed aggressive carcinoma. And I suspect the guy calling me on Monday is going to cure regulation again.
My anger is still strong. Whish me luck I can firmly but nicely negotiate a pragmatic solution. I’m a 4h flight away, but if this doesn’t work out I am willing to personally visit the official in chaege. And then help him his higher being of choice.
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I feel ya. I’m sorry to hear all this.
Oh… nearly forgot.
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Awwww crap. Just saw this. Fuck, that sucks. I hope he heals up ok.
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This is fuct beyond belief too. Holy shit. Hope relative finds relief, soon.
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It turns out he got 15 stitches overall, with a nice little scar over his left eye. I still mean to post a support page. I’ve been rather ill for the past week or so, so I’m playing catch up.
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28 days later, a lot has happened.
I was away, about 4k kilometers from my relative. I did get the call by the insurance, and tried to set things in motion. Turned out the wheels turn, but far to slowly.
Helped to organise all medical records available and a transport to an adequate hospital in the vicinity of my brother. Was on the phone basically every day.
Also had major problems with my phone, and failed to reach support for three weeks. Partner and child fell sick while we were away, which made the need for a working phone and internet connection very central. I needed Google Translate, and to phone medics there and here.
While not reaching support, guarantee expired. Am in negotiations now. They first want me to reset phone, which is the only one thing I haven’t done yet SINCE I NEED THE PHONE, FFS.
Came back home (only 200 km from relative, but still), got them in a hospital, but after just two and a half days another issue caused the need for Ian emergency operation and subsequent ntensiv care. Still trying to sort out paperwork one week onwards, got a sick partner who had a tooth OP yesterday and a chronic infection knocking them out. Also, our two-year old is sick, too. Again. This time no severe allergic reaction, as two weeks ago, but an infection.
My brain hurts. Literally. I text this standing in the kitchen while my sick partner takes care of our sick little one and my relative has been released to a regular station in hospital, since oncology now is full, and out of the question until the OP wounds have somehow healed a bit.
Generally speaking, a great day. Better than the last few weeks. Hence an update here. But fuck this shit anyway.
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Oh fuck today, too.
While being transferred to a regular station seemed a good thing, vomiting (literally) shit started again. Holy hell, how can a person cope with that on top of a Gleason scale 9 cancer which we didn’t even start to tackle?
Fuck.
Today.
Got the message just two hours ago.
200 km away, can’t do a thing now.
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Update: after a report not suicidal tendencies and a refusal of any treatment, I’m trying to make palliative care for my relative as good as possible while not giving up the fight for more and new information if the case really is lost, or if a chance for a slightly prolonged survival with increased quality of life would be possible.
Fuck cancer.
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I’m so sorry… good luck.
and of course…
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