Best of luck… I’m so sorry. Make sure you take care of yourself too, caregiving can take a lot out of you, without you even realizing it.
And:
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Thanks for the support and wise words, @anon61221983 and @Nightflyer. The irony of the Deadpool reference is not lost on me. And I can’t have Lizzie survive my relative.
TIL today: they are the oldest documented relative of our clan, already. That record broken, scoring every day against all odds a new record and a personal best should be some motivation already, FFS.
FTR, I am running on borrowed time, and I know and feel this clearly. I’ve got two ICD-10 codes on a piece of paper, and I have some support. Also, I am taking a break for a very special day sandwiched between two well deserved nights at home. (That I’m probably oversharing my situation here is also a way of coping, and I really appreciate that this community is what it is.)
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I got a little fuck and a big fuck.
Last week I was watching the kiddo at her house for 2 days and took her to school in the morning. Some one dumped a big pile of large rocks (the biggest ones about brick size) in the middle of the lane on the highway I was on. My hesitation and not having a lot of time to react (didn’t see it) I ran over it with two tires and blew out two tires 
It got 4 other cars after me.
I ended up getting 3 tires (due to the wear on the tires I had and which ones were which), plus the tow truck fee. I did pay the tow guy to take my kid to school, and even tipped him. Once he got there I didn’t have to do anything.
Oh and due to it being RIGHT THERE and one tire was under warranty, I went to Walmart. It took FOREVER. And then they screwed up the balance and I had to get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday for them to fix it. It again took FOREVER, but at least they did it right this time.
So FML - same as it ever was - but it could have been worse.
Such as:
The reason I was watching her those days was her mom went to Texas to be with a friend of hers for about a week (formerly mutual friend.) I thought it was due to having an ovarian cancer diagnosis. Well, no, it’s much worse. She has cancer of the peritoneal. Which is a huge mess as it just forms tumors wherever in that area. They made a huge incision to go in and remove what they could, but now they are going to go with chemo. Evidently there is about a 20% survival rate and shes in her mid to late 40s. She has a kid about 12 or so and lives with her 2nd husband. It sounds like shes being super optimistic - but almost to the point of denial. I honestly don’t think they have prepared the kid for this - but - I imagine that will come in time.
So it just really sucks. And my ex-wife is a super worrier anyway, so this is going to effect her negatively as well.
Hope everyone else is having a better November!
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Not exactly. But I feel your and their pain. We are going full palliative. I’m staying at the bed. Already using a sedative antidepressant, but I doubt we both get any rest tonight.
That said, I hope we both will find peace in our own ways. Hope the same for you. And of course the mother, and especially the kid.
ETA: found peace, and will rest in peace.
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I’m so sorry. All that really sucks.
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I came here to vent and saw the last month or so of posts.
My stuff is so inconsequential next to theirs. So I’ll just say to @LutherBlisset & @Mister44
CANCER CAN GO FUCK ITSELF.
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Nobody here’s situation is less important than others’…unless maybe they’re part of the 1%.
Hope whatever it is, it can be resolved quickly and easily enough.
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Big problem or just one small problem too many for the day. It all goes here with no judgements.
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What @knoxblox and @TobinL said:
comparison doesn’t matter. Sometimes it might help to bring important things back to focus, and sometimes it helps to root yourself anew. But don’t tell yourself your own problem(s) don’t matter. Never. That’s maximal unhealthy.
All the best to you.
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Do you know about the spoon theory?
If you are on your last spoon for the day, it doesn’t matter how small and technically inconsequential the issue might be for someone else…for you, it’s past your limit, at least for that day.
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wow. Mrs. F is chronically ill, and this is a perfect encapsulation of her experience (as it appears to me, at any rate).
It has a lot of relevance for caretakers too. Thanks for posting it.
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Yes, I have chronic pain and this made a lot of sense to me as well hen I discovered it.
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Thanks, people.
The posts made me step back, take a breath or three, and reconsider what was really important. I made a decision to remove myself from a toxic relationship, and today is a better day.
@anon67050589: that’s how I explain my invisible chronic illness.
I saw a needlepoint that said “no spoons, only knives” and that’s about where I was.
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Good deal! I’m happy for you and hope every day going forward is even better.
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You mentioned the DEA in another thread. Is that why they’re paying attention to you?
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That takes courage. Moving on with your life is kinda terrifying. More power to you!
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ONE MONTH IN AND I STILL HAVEN’T RECEIVED MY REPLACEMENT DEBIT CARDS MY BANKS CLAIM WERE MAILED — EVEN THE REPLACEMENT FOR THE REPLACEMENT
I can’t use the ATM to access cash, much less have a card to use at the supermarket, and the closest credit union I can withdraw from is 20 miles away on Thanksgiving, so no go, and the trip would cost 10 bucks just to get 20 bucks.
Thanksgiving meal? Naked hot dogs and mashed potatoes. Not that others are hungrier than I, but this should not be such a customer service dilemma.
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the neighbor cat who used to come visit sometimes got hit by a car last night
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All lampposts and signposts in my neighborhood, at least three streets wide, and in the vicinity of a primary school, are flooded with neo-fascist propaganda since yesterday. I spent a good part of the day scratching stickers off them. This is completely new, and unusual. There are usually some antifa stickers, kids stuff basically. Now there are “Identitäre Bewegung” stickers all over the place, and AfD, and other stuff. I’m already in a bit of a state for personal reasons - see above. But now I feel lonely and alienated in the fucking hood happen to live in. This is frightening.
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That sucks… I’m sorry.
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