That’s a phrase I have not heard before? What does it mean? Is it similar to the argument made about homosexuality being caused by overbearing or overly soft mothers?
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It’s an idea that was promoted by no longer revered psychologist Bruno Bettelheim claiming that autism was a reaction to mothers that were cold and unfeeling towards as their children. Seeing the way some autistic kids resisted being held and touched, Bettelheim decided that it was the mother’s behavior towards their child that caused it. It’s taken quite a long time to see the neurophysical foundations of autism.
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Remember, you’re one person, you’re not a superhero, no single human can change or affect things so much bigger than themselves. The way you’re feeling is not wrong, the way you’re reacting is not wrong, what’s wrong is blaming yourself for something that is way outside your control. Don’t get lost down the hole of “I could have done more”, you’re one human being (and a good one as far as I’m concerned) and you’re working, helping to bring up a family, and often as not, that’s more than enough to fill all of your waking hours.
Do try and get some help, but please, don’t victim blame yourself, a lot of what has happened in the last 18+ months has been beyond people elected to lead nations, let alone us mere mortals.
Ive never met you, but I’m here rooting for you.
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Got it! Thanks… so very similar type of thinking, then, that the mother is to blame.
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Thanks for all your kind words.
I want you to know that I have support, but I feel that I am not making progress at the moment. And I am, as always, doubtful about the road taken. And curious about the road not taken.
Today was comparably ok.
One more thing. A big one, though Just in case some of you have the same experience, I would like to mention that this BBS, with its great community, is part of my problem. I often spend my time and energy here which I would need to invest in more boring, less rewarding, and/or more frustrating things which have a direct influence on me or my immediate surroundings or situation. Right now, I should already be trying to sleep.
Exchanges on the BBS do feel like they make a difference. You guys do. Ken, in particular, does a great job to prevent harm as inflicted elsewhere online.
But the fact remains, time invested here can not be used for something else. However rewarding, however nice, however positively influential on my wellbeing at the current moment, it might do me harm in the next moment, or in the medium term.
I think the long-term effect is a net gain. But I often think about closing down my account. I logged out for longer periods in the past, but I really missed y’all then.
Anyway. I should be sleeping.
And by the way, fuck today, but on a different level than yesterday. Or the day before.
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Take breaks. We all need them sometimes. There will still be some familiar faces around when you return.
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It was a theory popular in the 60’s and 70’s, but still thrown around in the 90’s, that unaffectionate moms caused their child6to become autistic. It’s bullshit, of course, but still, there are some who can’t let it go.
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Those vaunted charter schools at work. /s
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Lord of the Rings???
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I almost hope she hasn’t actually read Lord of the Flies, because if she has, talk about seriously missing the point.
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Trust me, I know exactly how you feel! Spending time on the internet has helped me stay connected to the outside world during the pandemic, and helps me feel less alone in the world… but there’s an awful lot of chores piling up that need to get done. I’m searching to find that perfect balance between screen time and chore time, but it’s a work in progress. 
Take whatever time you need for you, even if that means we don’t see you as much for a while. We’ll still be rooting for you, and we’ll be here when you return.
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I needed this to understand the mistake. Otherwise I was wondering if she thought Lord of the Rings was about how only the firm hand of a powerful ruler could save Middle Earth…I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time someone on twitter got the message of something 100% reversed, now would it.
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Honestly that seems like an unfair comparison. Before he was reduced to being an eye, Sauron used to fight his own battles…he once tried to fulfill a prophecy by becoming a giant werewolf, and he was there at the battle before the Black Gate himself. Afterward he was still working on hard on plans to expand Mordor’s influence. Heck, I understand he even pulled up the mountains around it…which is to say he got his wall built, one only a couple hobbits ever made it through.
The only similarities I can think of are that they are both extremely cruel and selfish, they both give off an unnatural orange light, and both have lived way longer than one might hope.
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I assume she meant Lord of the Flies. Anything that turns a school into a Tolkein story is ok in my book!
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Relevant to recent discussion here:
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And they both have an army of trollies.
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Afghanistan is just resetting to 2000…
Not a god damn thing of worth came out of this pointless war. We very much could have dealt with 9/11 without 20 years of suffering for the Afghan people even more than they were under the Taliban in the first place. WE keep saying we’re give a shit about the human rights of Afghan women, but let’s face it, we don’t give a shit about ANY human rights… not even those of our own citizens.
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